Fun with @MirrorReviews: The corrections officer with the "love me" sign on his forehead
Oh what a wildly eventful weekend in the field this week. First off, I need to address the crazy ass robbery I saw go down yesterday.
I had arranged to meet up with my latest student at this bar on Santa Monica blvd at 7 - and as I was getting out of the cab and walking up, I noticed all these cops standing outside this school and by the gas station.
Two of them had their guns drawn and one of them had this long pole thingie that looked like you could seriously fuck someone up with.
This being LA though, you never know if it's the set of a film or something ... so at first I just kept walking. Then, as I turned my back people at the bar start shouting "HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT" and the cops then run over to the 7-11. I start tweeting out my findings and even snap this picture. I've circled where the cops are ... (i just got my iphone and was unsure of how to zoom since THAT part WASSS easier on the droid charge)
Then in the smallest world ever category, my buddy Lauren ALSO just happened to be there at the same time having just LEFT before the cops came barging in.
It was literally one of the coolest things I've ever seen, and I know those dudes at that 7/11 so I went back after the "date" but unfortunately my duderino wasn't there. I'm going to head over today and see what more I can find out. Super interesting stuff, though!!!
Anywho ... so, that happened first and foremost ... but on FRIDDAAYYYYYY night, I had a "date" with a corrections officer.
Lemme get a song to go with the post. Hold up ...
So, I agreed to meet with the corrections officer around 8, but I had also gotten an awesome email from this duderino earlier in the week, so I told him I had plans Friday night but could arrange a happy hour if he was free.
Of course, he made it happen - and he and I shot the shit for a bit. Really great guy, but you could tell I scared the hell out of him. I genuinely can't imagine what it must be like for dudes that want to go out with me to read the site, then work up the courage to send an email - and then usually in less than a week if they ask me out I'll be able to meet up with them. I know when I FINALLY met Pete Cashmore I literally almost crapped my pants and the first words out of my mouth were "I recognized you by your jaw line" WHO SAYS THAT FRIEL!?!!??!!?!!!! I can TOTALLY empathize that it must be weird for people, but I'm just trying to get better at putting dudes at ease because their nervous energy makes me get a little on edge and I'm too zen for that shit. Mama no likey.
Either way though, great guy, and after a couple of beers 8pm creeped up and I told him I had another meeting to get to. Arranging meetings back to back in the same venue btw is CRAZY efficient since I don't have to incorporate more commuting time, ANNNDDDD as long as you set an alarm on your phone 5 minutes from when you have your next meeting, you have enough time to give the person a hug and not be rude or keep your next appointment waiting.
Works like a FREAKING CHARM, and just as an FYI I do this almost every time I'm out, so if we're ever agreeing to meet someone don't be the guy to arrive early, because I will no doubt have planned a meeting beforehand and then it just gets weird. No one likes to be around the weird.
Anywho, while ending my happy hour meeting I did notice my date walk in, and he darted for the restroom. I do that when I get nervous too, so it makes sense ... but then he walked out of the restroom and what looked like out of the bar.
Aw, peppermint patty, I thought. I know he's going to come back, but I don't want this getting weird.
QUIT WITH THE WEIRD LIFE!!!
I then end the meeting and moments later see my date walk up.
I greet him with a big hug and a thanks for being brave enough for doing this!!
And I really mean that btw. Self work is NOT easy - it's scary as fuck. The fact that these guys are even SHOWING UP for something like this is 90% more than a lot of other dudes are doing ... so well done, new friend!! Well done!!
He then asks if we can switch to the booths since he has a problem sitting in stools.
Not a problem, I said. We then walk to the back and grab a booth. Unfortunately at this place however, they are only half booths so he and I BOTH sit in the booth laughing about our placement.
Do you not like to sit with your back to the door, I ask?
No - I just have a lot of arthritis issues.
AHHH, I say. I can't do it because I sit at a computer all day and stools are death to your back. I always always always go for the booth.
Which actually if you consider it, it's technically not a back issue that I have with not wanting to sit in stools and more of the fact that I need to work on my core muscles more.
Whatever though ...
We then get right into business. I ask him about his personal life and previous relationships.
As I watched him talk however, I could FEELLLL that this guy just had "love me" plastered on his forehead. I could FEEL how badly this guy wanted to be in a relationship and how BADLY he wanted to be loved.
It freaked me out actually - I wouldn't call it "desperate energy" but it was more like, the energy of not wanting to fall off a cliff and you wanting to hold onto something, or anything for dear life. He has an EXTREMELY commanding presence by being SO FUCKING TALL and just a massively big human being - but I have a feeling that his presence has intimidated people to the point of causing him to feel ostracized.
Love me ... love me ... love me ... I could feel him saying energetically.
I sat there listening not wanting to jump out of my skin. Energy like that is a HUUGGEEEEEEE turn off to women. I'm assuiming it is for men too, obviously, but I only speak from first hand experience and having never spent a day with a dick I have a limited frame of reference.
Women want to feel provided for, and protected. This guy with his physical stature ALONE had that down, but there was this overwhelming air of sadness and very much a "broken butterfly" feeling to him.
He then admits that he was placed in an orphanage when he was younger. AHHHH, I think - this makes PERFECT FREAKING SENSE.
He then tells me about his social anxiety disorder, and the fact that at his job he once got hit in the face with a tuna can that an inmate had in his sock and when he attacked him with it it came FLLYYINNNGGGGG out of the sock and smacked him right in the mouth causing him to lose multiple teeth.
I then ask him to show me, and that shit was fucking gross. Awesomely fucking gross, but gross none the less.
I then kept staring at his eyes as he talked - I can't describe it, but I saw myself in him. He definitely had a gnarly upbringing and some wild experiences at his job and in his current day to day - but he compartmentalized everything to the point where he almost shut down. If I was profiling him psychologically for a job, I would ABSOLUTELY have put him EXACTLY in the position where he is now. This dude is a big ass mother fucker, and you can tell - doesn't miss a trick. HOOWWEEVVEEERRRRRR, people who are in positions like this dude often forget to take care of themselves, and as cheesy as this sounds, this dude has a SHIT TON of work to do on his inner child.
That's the thing when it comes to dating, EVERYTHING. BEGINS. WITH. YOU.
That was my conclusion with the 103 dates in 9 months thesis, and ALSO why I've spent 6 months working with the Modern Day Shaman and addressing my own issues. When it comes to attraction the "butterflies" and "chemistry" aren't a sign of you meeting a soul mate, or whatever Disney wants to cram down your fucking throat - it's emotional recognition. You're finding your like energy. And in the case of 80% of people who have a LOT of fucked up shit that they've never dealt with emotionally ... it provides you with a handicap to finding a healthy and balanced relationship.
YOU. HAVE. TO. DEAL. WITH. YOUR. PAST. OR. IT. WILL. EFFECT. YOUR. PRESENT.
I'm not saying dwell on things, because trust, I used to do that too - and it's VERY much not healthy ... but it truly is a release of just LETTING THINGS GO!!! Sometimes too, it's really hard, because you don't even realize you are still hanging onto things. I absolutely learned as a kid to shut everything off. I even had to have eye surgery a few years back to put these little silicone implant things into my eyes because I didn't produce enough tears. My body was so shut off emotionally that I literally stopped crying.
I WAS ALL CRIED OUT!! I spent the first 24 years of my life in the same shoes as the corrections officer begging and PLEADING for people to love me and to be around me. While I definitely did have a core group of friends, I never ever had a healthy relationship ... and now 2.5 years later after working on me, and figuring out where my bliss is, fuck me silly, I can't keep people away. They always say, I have this "sparkle" this thing ... it's like, bitch PLEASE! I am doing ME!!! And this feels GREAT!!! I'm no longer the people pleaser, I'm no longer the "goody two shoed" human being that never wanted to offend everyone, that just wanted to do what was "right" and make everyone happy. It's lame. If you're alive you're going to offend someone, somewhere - you can't please people all the time, but what you can do is listen to YOUR inner truth and YOUR gut and understand that when you're speaking your truth you resonate at a different level energetically. People will AUTOMATICALLY be more attracted to you, without them even knowing!!
It's trippy as shit, but trust, spend a week doing it - and WAAATTTTTCHHHHHH things start to change. It trips me out.
The corrections officer then told me the story of a chick he met on OKC who BEFORE THEY EVEN MET she took down her profile saying, "well if we are going to make a go of this, I want to be serious."
WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?!?! RUN, RUN, RUN!!
He hadn't even MET this chick yet, they had only talked on the phone a few times, and she was such a "wounded puppy" she was drawn to his "broken butterfly" energy. LIKE. ENERGY. ATTRACTS.
He then talked very candidly about their sex life as well, and I just kept thinking over and over - this ENTIRE situation had NOTTHIINNGGG to do with the fact that you guys slept together so soon, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that this bitch from the GET GO is fucking crazy.
What is happening here??!?!?!?
This chick was obviously screaming love me love me love me and energetically because HE is screaming love me love me love me, they found each other and made whoopie.
YOU. HAVE. TO. LEARN. TO. SPEAK. YOUR. TRUTH. AND. STAND. ON. YOUR. OWN. TWO. FEET. TO. EVER. ATTRACT. A. HEALTHY. RELATIONSHIP.
Of course you will meet people at almost any energetic level, but to get to the level of commitment that most of these guys are looking for, they have to start on themselves. I can give them dating advice TIL THE COWS COME HOME, but it has less to do with your OKC default photo and more to do with the energy you are broadcasting universally.
Here is his review on Mirror.net:
His dateAbility ...
If the corrections officer learns to love himself MORE he will have less of the "love me love me love me" vibe which I know for a FACT will help him with his dating life. This guy could theoretically meet the "right" woman right now, but he's not ready for her. Self work! Self work! Self work, time baby!! =)
Rock on and please please please keep us posted on your progress!!
#thatisall
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OH! And here's how you write a review, and Mirror 101. Enough links already!! Shessshhhh
Do you live in LA and would you like to go out on a date to be reviewed? Hit me up!! JenFriel at talknerdytomelover d c. I wanna hear from you!! xoxo
