#NerdsUnite: Confessions of an Unwed Bride (Last Week- I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet by buddy Julie! She's my roomie, we met on Craiglist, and she is 1,000 flavors of everything awesome sauce. The reason why she had a room in her apartment however is a mighty long story. See, Julie was dating a duderino for 8 years. Yep, they were engaged to be wed and all that snazzy jazzy stuff. Now the engagement is off and Julie is attempting to heal from her loss; these series of posts are her best attempt. HIT IT JULIE! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ItsMeJoolie

When we first flipped the calendar page to March, I got worried. I knew it was coming. I didn't know how I would feel.

On Tuesday, March 20, came the anniversary of the wedding that never was. I had a lot of thoughts in my head that day about the whole event. (Seriously, no one should ever have to return a wedding dress!) But something about those thoughts really surprised me. They weren't nearly as sad as I had been anticipating.

I actually didn't sit at my desk and think about myself in The Florida Keys, I didn't picture myself in my wedding dress or think about the party afterwards. Yes, of course it was a sad day, but what I actually thought about was my friends.

I thought about my friends and how grateful I am for all of them to be in my life. How they took care of me when I needed to be cared for most. One of my co-workers, Erica, let me spend half of March on her couch, which I will be eternally grateful for. She listened to me go on and on about my ex. She helped me to feel as though I wasn't alone. She lent me Eat, Pray, Love - the quintessential what do you do after your life falls apart book.

That friend and a couple of others, two that I had just met earlier in the month and are still good friends with to this day, got in our cars and drove out to Las Vegas to help distract me from the wedding that never was.

That Vegas trip was one of the best things I did for myself. It was my first time ever in Vegas. The four of us ended up meeting up with a bunch of coworkers that also happened to be in Vegas that weekend and we had ourselves a blast. I learned how to play Black Jack. I also fell in love with playing Black Jack. We partied in the Foundation Room at House of Blues and as I stared off at the spectacular view, I was scared but excited. I flirted and danced with some random dude that night for the first time in 8 years.

When the actual day came, I was heartbroken. And when 3:15pm PT came, the actual time we were supposed to be wed, I was crying. Erica layed down on my bed next to me and put her arms around me as I cried. Both of my parents called me to check on me that day.

Her and I went to a show that night and I was so grateful to not have to be alone and to be distracted. On the way back to LA we made sure to stop at Red Lobster (so wondrously tacky!) to eat some seafood and cheddar bay biscuits. The whole trip was so much fun!

I was so busy working last Tuesday that I forgot to get sad at 3:15pm PT. I didn't realize I had missed it until 3 hours later. And even then, I didn't get sad, I just reflected on how different my life is now and how amazing all of the people in my life are.

It wasn't easy, but due to being in sink or swim mode I turned off my social anxiety in order to survive. My life is so fulfilling now because I have so many wonderful people in it. And as the months have turned into a year, it's those friends and all of the new ones I have made that make my life what it is - great!

#nerdsunite

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