#Adventures in Randomness and Rock & Roll w @leah_cevoli
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Leah. She's pretty rad and has an INCREDIBLY random life. Like, no - for reals ... did you know she has an obsession with vampires, psychics, and tarot card readers ... and she had more sex as a teenager than in her 30s ... anddddd she even had two ex boyfriends die violently - one from a heroin overdose, and the other was murdered. Holy moly roli poli oli - that shit be cray cray. Either way, she's now here to write about her life, love, and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LEAH!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Leah_Cevoli
I am a huge Social Media nerd. Huge.
It started in the mid-nineties. Yeah, social media existed in the mid-nineties in the form of AOL chat rooms, AOL instant messengers, and being the band-aid that I was I joined every 80’s glam rock message board I could think of, which led to meeting and hanging with every band I loved in my teens. And some of those people I met back on those message boards are still my friends today! True Story!
Nowadays, social media, although still being “social” for me, is also a huge part of where I get new gigs from, showcase my work, promote my projects, and well, get the next gig. My very first SAG acting job (Robot Chicken), came thru Friendster, and the horror film I produced and starred in came thru Facebook.
I have finely tuned my social media skills, and my brand online. There are some people that use social media simply for playing online games or keeping in touch with family and new baby photos. There are others that use social media strictly in a LinkedIn sort-of business only sense, but my way of social media is to combine the two. It’s a delicate balance.
I will be the first to admit that I post A LOT. And I’ve been told this by others as well. Back, when myspace was in, I had friends or associates that didn’t add me, as they didn’t want to see all my posts. I had to put my big girl pants on, and not get offended by that. Just because something *is* important to ME, doesn’t mean everyone else is going to want to see it, and that’s okay. I had a vision, a plan, a method to my madness. Not really sure of anything, other than if I stuck to my gut, and posted things that truly meant something to me, and stayed authentic, without bombarding people, the people would respond. And they have. I have a nice social media following, that is continuously growing. So, hey, the way I do it, must be working for me.
I also had to get used to, consistently saying no, when random people, especially bands, asked me to post something for them, whether it was thru my mailing list, myspace, or whatever. Because see, if other ppl saw value in me posting their information/show/gig whatever, than shouldn’t I be placing a value on it, and either a) start charging a small fee (which I’ve done on occasion), or b) say no thanks, I promote things I’m involved with or feel a need of my own accord, to promote. (which is the way I usually go).
I’ve taken marketing classes over the years, branding classes, networking classes, self-management classes… I’ve learned things from all of them, but like with anything, you should take what works for you, leave the rest.
I’ve been told over the years, I’m too “personal” online. I’ve refined that slightly, but not much, I enjoy being an open book. I don’t mind sharing personal things. I enjoy the feedback, and I enjoy hearing from people that got something out of what I shared.
So basically, all this to say, I’ve got my social media skills down, and I’m completely happy with the way I do things. Yet, recently I’ve had 2 instances that I feel compelled to write about. (I sense a part 2 to this post already…)
I recently started a mail-chimp email list, and transferred the few thousand subscribers from my Yahoo-Groups List (founded in 2001). On day one, I received a notice that someone had not just unsubscribed, or clicked “no longer interested”, but had actually clicked and reported me as SPAM.
Mail-Chimp doesn’t take this lightly, you only get a few warnings and they shut your account down. Who would have reported me as SPAM? I check and here it’s this dude, who I met in 2009 at Comic Con. He lives in NY and works outside the Entertainment industry, but is friends with some high-profile actors. I actually, went on a date with him later that year, and even kissed him good-night after a really nice dinner in the city.
Now since then, he’s dating someone who is friends with a girl who really did me wrong, and as such, lord knows what he was told, but he deleted me off of all social networking platforms. It hurt, like an ouch, band-aid hurt, but this SPAM report, was more than I could take and keep my mouth shut about. I emailed him. And politely asked, what his deal was.
And you know what he said? “Actually while I thought we were friends, I came to realize that we weren't (or if we were, our definitions of the word differed). You really seem to care more about having people to get you places than actual friends. You'd been sending me an astounding amount of messages in a myriad of ways to vote for you in things I don't know anyone who asks as much of their "friends" as you do in the ways that you do, and while I know you're trying to make it in the harsh world of Hollywoodland, you may want to explore other options other than constantly asking for favors. It really makes a friendship feel dishonest, and makes people who genuinely care about people like myself tend to back away.
WOW, REALLY? Now, if you know me at all:
A) you know that I am the first person to hook friends up with tickets to any concert/show/screening/job/event, ANYTHING that I can possibly do. As an adventurer I am always in constant gratitude to the people and circumstances that I've met along the way, and will always, always pay it forward. B) I rarely ask for favors, I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve accomplished and C) Just cause I post something to look at or vote on, doesn’t mean YOU have to do anything. It’s my facebook page, I NEVER EVER EVER post my stuff on someone else’s page w/out complete permission!
(It's like my own personal RULE #1)
I took a moment to ponder and breathe. I realized that he is NOT in the entertainment industry, so he just doesn’t understand how much my flow of income and work depends on being active online, and the friends that he DOES have in the industry are A-list actors, who don’t need to do the public, daily, hustle, anymore. So you know what, he just doesn’t get it.
I politely wrote him back:
Yes, the summer of 2010 was filled with 2 BIG Contests that I needed votes for. One to be a Host on Oprah's Winfrey’s new network and one to Host a very large music Festival, and I did ask for my friends (and fans) to vote for me. To most ppl it's not a big deal, to some, like yourself, it is.
I have to disagree with you on the friendship thing tho... I am an amazing friend, I give all I can and all I got to my friends, I've never used anyone, back stabbed anyone, and I most certainly don't use anyone for what events they can get me into, 99% of the time I can do that myself, esp in the music world, and I hook my friends up ALL the time.
It's just who I am, I share a lot, and I give a lot...
What was nice about sending out my mailing list, besides the "spam complaint" from you, I woke up to 12 emails from friends/mentors/coaches congratulating me on the email and the projects listed, and that felt great.
I have not heard from him since.
I LOVE Social Media, like LOVE.
I just really needed to write this (2-part) rant post on a few things that have irked me lately.
Live Love. Love Life.
#xoxo
click here to follow Leah on twitter!
P.S. Later that same year, I entered one more online voting contest, and this time I WON!