#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You get played by a player

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

I got played. Well, technically speaking it wasn't necessarily being "played" it just ended really really awkwardly and for the first time in at least two years I'm in an epic state of confusion. 

So, a few weeks back, I got hit up by the publicist for the Playboy Mansion inviting me out to grab drinks. 

Not a problem, I thought. The dude seemed really rad, might as well go out just the two of us. 

Because he never mentioned discussing business (guys will ALWAYS say, "hey I like what you do, I'd love to talk about it over drinks) I immediately assumed it was a date. 

I arrived a few minutes after the dude and while we were standing in line he got a text from another client of his. 

I'm behind you, read the text. 

My date then turned around and then greeted his alarmingly attractive client. 

HEEYYYYY!! He said welcoming, as he introduced me. 

Hello, I replied back cautious to not get caught staring into his dreamy eyes. 

We then go and grab drinks (my date pays), and go and sit down in a corner booth, the three of us. 

The guys then started chatting back and forth as I was sitting in-between them sipping my wine. 

My date's client was extremely extroverted and had this charismatic personality that instantly read "playboy."

I HATE playboys. I used to date them in my early 20s, and they just breathe this air of douchiness. (It was in fact that exact pattern that I was looking to break when I signed up for OKC.) 

What do you do? I asked the playboy. 

I work at a startup, he said. 

He's being modest, said my date. He's part of a big start up in Silicon Beach. 

Rad, I said. 

We then kept talking and the playboy was clearly dominating the conversation and actively flirting with me. 

Out of respect for my date, I kept touching his arm and didn't appease the flirtation. 

This is kinda awkward, I thought. 

My date then started commenting on how hot some women were. 

Ruh roh, I thought. This is getting all shades of weird. 

A round of shots were then ordered as girls came over to the table. 

My date then stands up. Alrite, I'm out of here. Please take care of her, he says to the playboy. 

I then hug my date goodbye and thank him for the drinks and time spent. 

I sit back down next to the playboy. 

What did you think of his pitch, he asked?

What do you mean pitch? I said. I think he felt bad because you interrupted our date. 

He laughs stopping me. 

You thought that was a date? 

I'm not sure, I said. 

Dude, he's almost married. 

Eh? 

Yeah, he's with someone. 

That's strange, I said. Normally if a guy has a girlfriend he addresses it quickly or at least establishes that this was a business thing. I don't have a dog in the fight nor do I care either way, but I thought it was pretty funny how you just swooped right in. 

We then spent the evening drinking, talking, and laughing. 

He's so easy to talk to, I thought, and so smart!! This guy is a catch. 

We then closed the bar down and he walked me back to my bus stop. 

I had a lot of fun, I said. 

He then leaned in and kissed me. 

SWOON!!! amazing, amazing kisser. 

We then arranged to meet up the next night as I was about to travel to SF.

Pro Tip: Whenever you hit it off with someone you SECURE that date as soon as possible. There was NO way I was about to travel to SF without seeing this dude in a more formal manner. 

The next night we went to dinner at the Foundry room on Melrose, and I immediately became consumed in this guy. 

Maybe I read this wrong, I thought. He's talking at great lengths about consciousness, his family, dog ... the conversation flowed so freely. I forgot I was on a first date. 

How old are you? I asked breaking the conversation. 

26, he said. 

SHIT! I thought. I could have pegged him based on his wisdom at at LEAST 32. 

SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! Guys aren't datable in LA until they are 30. 
Maybe I need to rewrite some of my rules, I thought. Stay open minded, Friel.  

We continued bantering back and forth even getting the waiter involved. He then sits down next to us and shows us pictures of his girlfriend and tells us the story of how they met. 

How sweet, we both said. 

Let me buy you guys a round of drinks, said the server. You are both so nice and you are my favorite table of the evening. 

We stared at each other. 

That's extremely generous of you, I said. Thank you. 

We then kicked it with the waiter for a bit before hitting the dance floor. 

He even took care of the check while I was away so there wouldn't be an argument on who pays. 

This guy is a class act, I thought. 

We then grabbed a cab back to my place, and we made out like the world was ending. 

I didn't even tell him to come inside, it was more of a continued make out sesh. 

We then make it to my bedroom (a place I very very rarely let guys into), and we have a 9th grade make out session. Translation: Everything before sex. 

We were both then very satisfied and fell asleep cuddling. 

The next morning we continued to make out, and the entire thing was so erotic. 

I've been so sterile to guys for so long wanting to stay "by the rules" and keep things at a distance sexually focusing on getting to know the person. 

Our chemistry though, was UNDENIABLE!! I couldn't keep my hands off the guy. 

Fuck, I thought. What is this guy doing to me? 

He then left and a few days later I went to SF for two different trips. 

By the time I got back and got settled in a week later, I texted him asking how he was doing. 

A few hours later he texted back indicating that his family had been in town. 

Great! I said. I love it when my parents are in town. Hope you guys had fun! 

I then got hit up by my buddy who was in town from SF letting me know he was hosting a get together. Because "the playboy" also worked for a start up, I figured these two should meet if they already haven't. 

While I was at the bar, I texted him inviting him out. 

As I put the phone down, I see my friend. 

We embrace.

As I am hugging my friend, I see the playboy walk in.

The time between me texting him and his arrival was less than 10 minutes so there was NO way he was just dropping in.

Shit, of course we're in the same social circle. Totally makes sense.

I then say hello as I stand up from my seat.

The playboy is noticeably awkward.

Don't be this guy, I thought.

I then talked with the group (there were approximately 12 of us), and I could feel this INCREDIBLE tension between the playboy and I. He wouldn't look me in the eye, nor did we even speak for the entire evening.

Around midnight I was tired, so we peaced. He waved good bye.

So weird, I thought. So so weird.

Now normally in a situation like this, either party might text the other person to crack a joke, or to say yeah that was strange ... some sort of SOMETHING to at least keep a connection. 

I got radio silence. 

It wasn't my place to text to be honest. I would have normally, but I wasn't the weird one in this scenario. I would have talked to him, I have absolutely no shame and can keep things comfortable and on the DL. 

This was last Monday. It is now a week later and Tuesday, still no text or call. 

Yesterday, I had coffee with my best friend, Steph. 

You're not going to believe this, I said to her over an upside down caramel macchiato (aka my new favorite drink ever). I had this AH-MAZING first date with this guy and he got so weird after. 

Who is it? she asked. 

He works at this start up. (I then told her which one.)

SHUT UP!!! She said. Who from over there? 

I then told her. 

OMG I dated one of their developers. All of those guys are playboys. 

I stare back at her with dead eyes. Oh yes, I know, I said. 

I'm confident enough to know that this wasn't me, but the signals he was sending threw me. If a dude just wants to get some he doesn't bring up the things this guy was bringing up. I'm not mad at the fact that we hooked up but I feel like I was on a strange bait and switch. I wouldn't have let him in my room nor spend the night if it was just that. 

Sorry girl, she lamented. 

Meh, shit happens. I just feel really stupid. 

Yeah, she said. I know the guy and he is charismatic, it's hard not to fall for it. 

But I'm a professional dater!!! How could I fall for something so elementary??? 

Annnnnddd there you have it, nerds. Silicon Beach is the smallest big town ever, and apparently I found the start up with the biggest playboys - aka my worst nightmare. 

All of it disinterests me. I obvi have a rebound rate of .25 seconds, but I don't think I would have hooked up with him if I had known he was so tight in my circle. Now I'm going to have to see him at event after event. 

I made my bed, now I gotta lay in it. 

THIS IS WHY I DON'T DATE YOUNGER!!!! MEN ARE NOT DATEABLE IN LA UNTIL THEY ARE 30! PERIOD END OF SENTENCE!!! 

ARGGHHHHHH!!!!! 

#thatisall

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