#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (escaping depression)
It is my goal for 2012 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life.
Here's a question I got on Facebook this afternoon ...
I spent the first 24 years of my life in a serious, serious depression. This brand and this website is my fuck you to life and to the world because I was SOOOOOO frustrated with everything else that I was doing. I literally wanted to do nothing else with my life other than just start a website - so I did.
IMHO, there is no "getting over" depression. Happiness isn't a destination it's a choice. I CHOOSE every day to only do things that make me happy and I CHOSE this lifestyle (against my family and friend's wishes). It's obvi not for everyone, but it works for me and at the end of the day the self is all that matters. I can't be "something" (wife, friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister) to someone until I understand what I am giving of myself. To understand who I was I started having adventures ... and now I am here.
In the video I made hours after I got hit in the head with the brick, I was running on adrenaline.Well, it was part adrenaline and part curiosity. Since I didn't have insurance I didn't go with all the super fancy pants brain scans so I figured why not make a youtube video and see if I am slurring or stuttering?
It worked, and fortunately I was okay.
In the month after though, I had gggnnnaaarrrllllyyyy depression. It was mostly just because of the massive concussion I had, but the effects of it were very real and being reminded of the pain and unhappiness again was brutal.
This year hasn't been easy.
One of the things I would suggest doing to break the cycle of depression is create a bliss list on what makes you happy.
It can be extremely simple too, but all of the items on there should bring you SHEER joy. Identify the things you want to be doing if this were the LAST day of your life.
Mine are traveling, volunteering, dancing, running, and having sex (with off shoots of writing and taking pictures).
When you are choosing to be depressed you are denying yourself of an AMAZING existence. I. Kid. You. Not. I can't get ENOUGH of life. Yes, I get scared, yes I get super stressed (like I am now), but as long as I am executing the items on my bliss list everything else becomes gravy.
No one is going to save you from your depression. No job, boyfriend, girlfriend, or friend. You. Have. To. Want. To. Save. You.
I live every day wondering what would have happened if either one of my suicide attempts took. I was so focused on dying I never learned how to live. THEN, I got so frustrated and angry I just said FINE!!! If I am so hell bent on dying why don't I just start fucking LIVING and see what happens.
That exact moment was 3 years ago.
And here I am today.
You are loved dear friend. That I know to be true, but first focus inward and start loving yourself. To get to that place of self love you have to identify what brings you bliss. I applaud you on your courageousness in reaching out and being honest with yourself.
Rock on.
Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com
ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!
Best of luck out there nerds!!
xoxo <3 @JenFriel
