#NerdsUnite: Confessions of an overdreamer (Stop Being Too Nice!)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Megan. (Yes, another one!) I met her at the #20SB summit in Chicago, and she's a really really really rad chica. She's here today to tell you about a little problem that she has. Megan is what we would call an over-dreamer. Not an overachiever because an overachiever actually achieves something ... Megan dreams, and that's it. And these are her stories ... HIT IT MEGAN!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @mahannay
So there’s this new girl at work. She’s an executive assistant. We’re a startup, so we’ve never really had an executive assistant before. In the days of yore, the COO ordered the groceries, one of the customer reps got lunch, no one remembered to call the trash company, and Megan went to the post office to mail out t-shirts and prices and all sorts of other social media tchotchkes. But now there’s a new girl at work.
And when, on Wednesday, I decided it was high time to mail out some more t-shirts, word came from the CEO that I should ask the new executive assistant to do this task for me.
And I’m like F***.
I hate ordering people around. I know, it’s all a good management quality, and it’s important to delegate, but like – here’s this new girl, and she’s been sitting across from me for two days, and she’s in pencil skirts and junk (like an executive assistant would be), filing her nails! Meanwhile, I’m over at my desk in jeans and messy hair, slumped over my computer and tripping over extension cords.
What a bitch I would feel like!
“Excuse me, um (insert name of new girl here). Yeah, so, I have about sixteen packages to mail out. And I used to do this, but now that you’re here, I have more important things to do. So I’m going to need you to take care of that. Like today. Yeahhhhhh.”
And that’s when I realized. When I was sitting at my desk with my CEO’s orders to delegate and all I could think about was how horribly bossy I would sound, I realized, oh my god – I’m TOO NICE!!!
Calling yourself “too nice” almost sounds like calling yourself “too pretty” or “too smart,” but I promise that this is not a secret compliment to me. The thing about people that are too nice, is that really, we’re mostly just too nice on the outside. I told you about the THE CRAZY. I get ridiculously impatient sometimes. I call people bad names in my head. And trust me, I can get angry.
People who are “too nice” (and I’m starting to think there are quite a few of us) are actually often just afraid to exert our power. We don’t want to ruffle feathers or stir up the pot, or whatever ridiculous phrase I think up next. Instead, we talk the non-confrontational route, the way of least friction; we don’t like to tell people what to do, and we say “sorry” waaaayy too much.
My overdreamer mini-goal for this week? STOP BEING TOO NICE! It’s going to be a weird balance. I mean, I definitely don’t want to swing too far the other way and turn into a rude, bossy bitch. There’s always a line. I guess this one is about knowing when you need to put your big girl boots on and exert some of your power.
In some ways, it’s actually nicer to not be too nice. I mean, if everyone’s afraid to give the new executive assistant things to do, then she’ll be out of a job. I guess being “too nice” is a one-sided kind of kindness.
I won’t selfishly be a too-nice person anymore!
My big girl boots are hot pink, by the way, and they fit very snugly.
#nerdsunite
Want more from Megan? Check out her blog over yonder!