#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Smile- Vitamin C

Holy shit, my moods have been off the charts the last few days. Apparently this is all part of recovering from a concussion, but I have just NOT been myself. 

I have gone from feeling EXTREMELY fearful even being outside, to fits of straight rage, to low energy, to absolute depression. I am disassociating myself from it to a certain degree and just saying this is all part of healing, this is not you ... this is all part of healing, this is not you - but it's been incredibly hard. 

I can't tell you how horrible it is to comb your hair, or shower - and feel staples. I swear I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. 

Of course too, it could be worse - I could have ABSOLUTELY been killed, or stabbed, or even paralyzed - but I can't negate my emotions entirely, this is what I'm feeling ... and it fucking SUCKS! 

I am hella grateful we still did the liveshow on Friday, but it's not enough. I just can't stop crying, I didn't fucking ask for this shit!! I'm a PEOPLE MAGNET!!!! People are attracted to me. Period end of sentence. 99.999999% of the time it's totes kosher for passover and a blessing, that one very very very small fraction of a percentage though that it's not - shit like this happens. 

I'm being extra careful and loving with myself, but I'm just angry. I've been calling Hollywood vice to figure out at least the guy's name, so I can see what legally I can do - but of course because this is LA and shit like this happens all the time, I'm just a number. 

I am going to bring flowers to the hairdressers that saved me tomorrow. The fact that people actually helped me, AND went after him is statistically an anomaly. There have been a lot of cases done on people who have been victims of crime and statistics have proven that people won't get involved or help someone in cases like mine. The fact that SOOOO many people not only helped me, but actually CHASED after the guy is STRAIGHT good karma. 

I'm just angry, and sad. I'm not sure what else to be. It's annoying, I didn't ask for this - and to take my power back I am just working as hard as I can stirring all of the pots on the fire. 

The timing on all of this couldn't have been any worse as I have a lot on my plate right now, but again - so what else is new. 

This shit just fucking sucks, man. No other word for it. 

I just want to sleep, and coming from someone who actually WISHES there were more hours in the day so I could execute more ... it's all just very hard. 

This too shall pass ... this too shall pass. 

Oh, on the brighter side of things, all of your well wishes kicked my klout score up to an all time high of 70. Well done nerds - and for reals ... from the depths of my everything, thank you all so so so much for your kind words. I'm energetically not up to responding back to everyone yet, but please know my love is there and I've been reading everything. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. xo

#thatisall

 

PS. Tomorrow I see the Shaman, annnnnndddd I have a hot date. Bright side Friel. Keep seeing the bright side!!

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