#WTF: About this weekend ... Can I get a rundown? (Featured on @TheChive, live show, attack aftermath)
A hoi hoi sexy lover faces.
From the depths of my everything, I can't thank you all enough for all of the emails, comments, tweets, and posts. I am very honestly a bit overwhelmed by it all actually - I can feel the love. I CAN FEEL IT!!!
I'm cool, I've got too much shit left on my to-do list to let something like this get me down. It is gnarly though feeling the staples in my head. I've been crying a lot, which I guess is normal. Even if it's not, I'm still owning it.
Hold on, lemme get a song to go with this post ...
HAHA fuck yeah! My brain feels like stew, this is perfection.
So, getting a concussion is like the worst thing ever. Being a nerd I am HYPER aware of my noggin and how I process things - my memory right now is COMPLETE shit, and storing names (which I'm already bad at to begin with) is just not happening.
I meet a lot of people everyday, and right now it's all just ... mush.
It fucking SUCKS and there's not much more I can do about it but apologize to everyone that I meet saying I have a brain injury, and I am very sorry if I start repeating myself, start repeating myself.
So yeah, the attack happened on Thursday night (read more about it here). Friday morning I woke up with literally the worst headache I have ever had.
I just kept thinking over and over though that nothing was going to stop the live show from going down. As long as I was PHYSICALLY still breathing, I could work with anything and make this show happen.
I listened to Chumbawumba LITERALLY all day on repeat on spotify to keep me going.
Sure, you got knocked down Jen, but you got your ass back up again - and ain't NOOTTHINNNNN ever gonna keep you down.
The attacker took my night at the comic book shop, and also cracked my Star Wars tumbler but he was NOT going to take our live show!!!
As I was laying in bed getting all of the work done on this loverly site, I saw someone post on my Facebook wall that I was featured on the chive.
I'm not sure how often The Chive does this, but they featured me in the top 80 Chivettes. I placed number 27 which wasn't bad considering my competition consistently mostly of TnA pics.
Click here to view for yourself
I posted the link on Facebook, and my mom clicked it and said oh dear god, thank you for wearing clothing in your picture. I laughed, oh mom - I didn't even submit that pic, but if I was going to submit in a TnA contest I'd show them some of the goods ... they're just boobs and butt. Might as well flaunt it while I got it. HUZZAH!!
But placing 27 while looking like a nun did warm my soul, so many many many thanks to whoever submitted my photo. I am honored.
THENNNNNNNNNN ...
@MyMelodie was coming up from San Diego for the live show (which was Friday night), so she was crashing on our couch. When she got into town I asked her if she wouldn't mind stopping at CVS so I could get some alleve.
They put staples in my head, but didn't give me any sort of pain killers. Not that I prolly would have taken them anyway, but I'm not gonna lie, my head was throbbing something FIERCE!!!
The good part about the pain though (as if there ever is a good part about being in pain) was that it was constant. The throbbing was at a level 6 on a scale of 1-10 and stayed that way throughout the entire day. Because I meditate I'm HELLA good at rising above physical pain like this and am able to still function very genuinely forgetting about the pain I am experiencing. You welcome the pain into your experience and explore it. It's kinda weird, but genuinely works.
Melodie had texted me that she was a few minutes away so I went downstairs to wait for her.
Standing outside in BROAD daylight however, made me incredibly scared. I kept thinking someone was going to come up from behind me and fuck me up again.
Here comes the PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) I thought. That is no bueno, and not allowed in my experience.
I filed away the fact that I was going to have to deal with it, but at least did make it out to the store, and to the live show.
Dudes, we fucking KILLLEEEEEDDD it!!!
The house was packed, we were not too far off from selling out which for our first show ever WARMED MY FREAKING SOUL!!!
The after party at Barneys was equally insane, and I was just so incredibly honored and humbled by everyone there. Way to be the best community on the PLAANNEETTTT!!! For reals, so much love, so much respect, so much nerdiness!!! Makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
Saturday, I slept. Literally, all day.
I didn't get up until around 5 in the afternoon, and then I decided to start writing about the attack. I wasn't sure emotionally where I was, but I figured at least starting to write about it was going to make me feel better.
Yeah, no - I couldn't stop crying.
I was a fucking blubbery mess. It was just so confusing. I was walking down the street, and then BAMMMM I felt my brain hit my skull. If anyone has ever had a concussion you know what it's like, dudes, it's the scariest thing ever to lose control over your brain functioning. It took me a little bit to be even able to SPEAK let alone move. I'm grateful I wasn't stabbed (Like the WeHo Daily was reporting), but either way, it was just the scariest thing ever and writing about it was putting salt on an open wound.
I got halfway through the post and said fuck. this. shit. I am not going to be scared to go outside again, and to walk alone ... I am going to go BACK to Sunset, by myself, and manifest an adventure to get over the fear.
Nothing like some good exposure therapy to negate PTSD.
You have two options in life when something like this happens ... you can be the victim or the victor. I lead a very public life, and I'm always putzing around by myself. I did nothing wrong in this scenario, and this was a freak freak freak attack. I am human however, and understanding that things take time is one thing, however I know me too well and I know if I didn't just get right back up on the horse, I might not ever want to walk alone again.
I wanted to go to a place I knew that was on Sunset and that I felt comfortable going to ... what better place to go on a Saturday night then the Saddle Ranch!!!
It's cheesy, it's touristey, but I didn't care. I've been going there for almost 8 years and a seat at the bar had my name on it.
Within SECONDS dudes started approaching me. HAHA that shit was rad, man. The Saddle Ranch is such a freaking meat market that dudes have no shame, and as a female this was just what I needed to get back on my feet.
These two dudes at first came up to me, they were from Ventura. Really sweet guys, I explained to them twitter and even tweeted the duderino explaining to him the value of the 140 character platform.
He got it, got a little excited, and even started following me.
Spank you very much.
His friend then turned to me and asked me to feel his shirt. What kind of material is this? he asked
My response: Cotton
His response: Boyfriend material
I laughed thinking I was genuinely going to say that it was a cotton/poly blend. I am SO FREAKING GULLIBLE when it comes to that shit. You could say to me that gullible rhymes with orange and I would totes start thinking about it. I have no reason not to believe someone who randomly says something like that to me. Of COURSE when it comes to business, I think everyone is guilty until they are proven innocent, but in my personal life - I take it all like a grain of salt.
The guys then asked me why I was by myself.
I explained to them that I was conducting exposure therapy in an attempt to get over the attack that happened to me on Thursday night.
The dude then got REALLY angry and said, wait, someone hit you?
Yeah, pretty badly too. Wanna see the staples??
And boom - just like that, I had free drinks for the rest of the night.
This is GREAT I thought!!! I am milking this shit!!!!
A few more dudes came and went, great conversations were had, I mostly pimped out the site since everyone that came up to me asked what I did and used that opportunity to hand them a card and tell them to check us out.
Then, one of the bartenders came up and asked if I was on an OKC date.
I looked at him a bit surprised, and he goes you're Jen Friel!
I was completely floored as I don't get recognized very often - I also honestly wasn't sure if I actually knew this guy and with the brain injury if I was just off my rocker.
He laughs and said no we didn't know each other but he reads the site and hopes I was feeling better.
Fuck yeah! I thought! This is turning out to be a great night!! I'm super popular at the bar making new friends, I'm drinking for free, ANNNNDDDD the super cute bartender just came up to me to tell me that he reads the site.
Really? Really? Could this night BE any better?
I then gathered all of my stuff, and at closing time left the bar. I braced myself for the walk down Sunset, but that shit was easy peasy. No one messed with me, no ... nothing. I was back to my usual self safe from all the crazies.
I then slept in super late on Sunday, and then sent a message to the bartender on OKC asking him out.
Look at that, by putting on my big girl pants, I picked myself back up and even ended up with a date out of the whole thing.
Oh life, you certainly do know how to take lemons and make lemonade, don't you!
Sigh. I heart thee.
As far as the attack goes, I just called the Hollywood Vice office. We'll see where it goes from here. Once I get the dudes name, I'm going to post it. I'm going to check with my lawyers, but I'm 99% certain I am within my right to do so. So, if anyone happens to bump into this mothafucka feel free to give him a love tap for me. And when I say love tap I mean not.
Chive on!!!!
#thatisall
