#Question: Are Women Slowly Killing Men With Nightly Phone Talks?

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#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Brian Freedman

Seriously, it’s weird, right?  And by “weird” I mean "irritating as hell."  It seems to me that every one of my friend’s relationships all have this common problem.  I know women love to talk, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but the need to speak with her man for hours every single night is just too much.

Before I go any further, let me just say I love and respect women.  This is simply an observation I’ve made with my friends, trying to shed light with women so a compromise can be made for a healthier, happier relationship.

My friend Justin R. was in a long-term relationship with a woman who would be classified as “Code Red Clingy.”  Going along with her clingy status, she would need/demand to talk to him for at least two hours every night. (The type of passive aggressive demand that is not spoken, but if he didn’t do it, there’d be hell to pay.  Yeah, that kind.)

Being the good boyfriend that he was, he complied.  But at some point, after 2 1/2 years of practically every night on the phone with a girl (not to mention they usually spent the day together, so to talk at night over what happened during the day was a little less than mundanely redundant) he couldn’t take it anymore.  I’m not saying that’s why he broke up with her, but it couldn’t have helped that for the first year, every night she kept asking him to “tell me the story.”  “The story” being the first time they met.  After a couple months in, talking to his girl may have been fun for her, but for him, is was anything but a Disneyland ride (except maybe the Tea Cups).

But she was clingy, so of course she had to be on the phone with him so much, she had a deep psychological & emotional void that had a thirst for love and affection that could never be satisfied.  Then he got into a new, much healthier relationship.  Wouldn’tchaknowit?  Nothing changed.

After speaking with my other male friends, they all say the same thing.  They cannot understand why women (in their early 20s, can’t say the same for later 20s and up) have this program that kicks in at night when a guy’s playing video games or, god forbid sleeping, to have to talk for at least an hour.

Maybe guy’s are just assholes, but they can’t engage with their girl about that person who was mean to her at work or some other drama bs for an extended period of time without zoning out to the point where all that comes out of a man’s mouth is “uh huh” or “Yep, she shouldn’t have done that” or “Don’t worry about it.  They’re not worth it.”  

Men love talking to their girlfriends.  The idea of talking is fine.  The execution could use some work.  Why does it have to be EVERY night, 7 days a week?  Hell, even working full-time men get a break.  I understand women connect with people through conversations, it’s a part of who they are and how they give/receive love.  But can women understand that men can’t handle more than 20, 30 minutes max on the phone with a girl?  Ideally, men would love all talks to be 15 minutes or less.

If a woman feels she can’t compromise and has to have his ear (but not his soul) for an hour plus, then feel free to continue on.  But is there some way a compromise can be found?  How about, 30 minutes every other night, or 15 - 20 min. a night?  If a woman will shorten the time (even set a timer) then he knows there is an end point in sight.   Men love definity, which is another reason talking to a woman is so painful.  He doesn’t know if tonight's’ talk will be 40 minutes, an hour, two hours...  If he knows  exactly how long the conversation will last (from 11:30 - 11:50 pm) it frees him up mentally & emotionally to be more present.

With that in mind, if women promise to follow a shorter, set time for talking, he’ll promise to be more active in the conversation.  Basically, cut back on the quantity to enrich the quality of everyone’s late night talks.

#thatisall

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