#WTF: Ever write a post about your first love and then have them cast you in a commercial a few weeks later? ME TOO!

Aug 3

AHHH DUDESSS!! There was nothing not weird about today ... like at all ... and or what so everrrrrrrrr!!!

Strange little day I had ... strange strange day.

First up, here's a bit of the backstory ... so like a month ago, I messaged my first love on Facebook. I was feeling incredibly lonely, and fuck after 103 dates in 9 months - frankly fed up. I don't have a lot of "go-to" people in my life (those people that no matter what, no matter when you can just pick up the phone and call). I always thought of my first love as one of those go-to people ... but you never know. We didn't end things well, and I pretty much thought he hated me.

All of that aside, I still emailed him to feel things out, and then documented not only our love story, but his response to me writing it. (Read more here)

He's in a relationship now, and didn't want to jeopardize anything (understandable). I asked to meet for coffee or a drink - anything really ... and he politely declined. It hurt, I'm not gonna lie ... I wasn't even looking to date him necessarily just talk to him. I miss some of my old friends, and I miss people that knew me pre-lifecasting. I know I'm a personal brand, and I know I am this site, and the site is me - I ASSURE you there is nothing on this EARTH that I have ever been more proud of ... but sometimes it's nice to still go back to being Jen Jen - quirky, weird, and a bundle of energy. He doesn't talk to me about tech because he doesn't know anything about it, nor does he want anything from me - I was just a chick he met at a Super Cuts back in 2004. It just keeps it real, man.

So yeah that's the backstory. Lemme tell you all what happened today ... here's the song that goes with the post. HIZZUAH!

Romeo (first love) called me on Friday to ask if I was free to be in this commercial, I said I wasn't sure, lemme get back to you yada yada.

I finally after great thought decided to at least give it a go and see what happens.

I am not even kidding you when I say I was sooooooo nervous when I woke up this morning. This was like epicly new levels of nervous. I still can't legally drive my car since I have racked up 5 parking tickets, and have yet to pay them which means I can't renew my registration ::smf:: so, I had to take the bus.

Mind you, normally that's no biggie. I love the bus! I get to tweet, catch up on reading - I can't stop multi-tasking, so it's honestly a pretty ideal way for me to get around for now, hahahaa. The only problem was the shoot took place in Alhambra. AL-HAM-BRA!!! Translation: Not LA

Alhambra is only about a half hour drive from LA, but it's just wayyyyyyy the fuck out there. I popped on google maps and to my surprise, you can actually take a city bus from Hollywood to Alhambra! Yuppers! For $3 each way (2 bus rides - transfer in downtown) you can go all the way out to bumfuck and get your groove on.

My call time was between 9-930 so at 7:30am, my little fanny hopped on the 704 and headed towards Alhambra. HAHAHA it was SOO rad too, while I was just sitting at the bus stop - minding my own business ... this limo driver pulls up to me asking if I needed a ride anywhere.

Free of charge, the driver said. Well, maybe I charge you one smile. Where are you going?

Alhambra, I said.

Oh - that's far. Best of luck sweetie.

The light turned and he drove off.

HAHAHA even the limo driver thinks where I am going is far, goodness gracious.

A couple minutes later the bus arrived, and an hour and a half later I arrived in Alhambra.

Mind you too, I was in a short skirt/dress thingie - I looked like I was going clubbing, or doing an epic walk of shame ... it was 9AM in the middle of a SUPER residential area!!!

Literally. Brady bunch worthy! (ommmgggg how do people live out hereeeeee!!!)

So, I walk the mile from the bus stop and walk up to the house. LITERALLY as I was walking up, he was calling me. He walked out of the house, and my eyes caught him and BAMMMMMMM it hit me like a ton of bricks.

FUCKKKK he looks hot.

Now, I've known Romeo for 7 years, I don't say this lightly ... he has absolutely never looked better. Like never, ever, ever. He's happy, and he's glowing - I've never seen him like this.

I get inside, and he introduces me to everyone on set. I'm pretty certain at that point I just mentally checked out - I was on total emotional overload. As is, right now, I'm going through a lot with this brand in general. I've been working on a lot of things for a while now, and they're finally all coming to fruition - however, at the same exact time. Best worst problem ever - heyyyy your site is being turned into a TV show, and you're writing a book, and you're officially getting seed money to launch things legitimately - yayyyyy. It's still a weird time for me - no other word for it. I honestly went to this today to see him. I knew he wasn't going to see me any other way, and frankly at this emotional state - I will take what I can get.

We start shooting the commercial, and I asked him prior if I could snap a few pictures to lifecast it - he had no problem. Even encouraged me to take pics which was rad!

The commercial is for a liquor company. Pretty cool shit man. I was just an extra but mannnnnn, standing there under the lights and seeing him work that set, and work it behind the camera - total turn on.

I've never seen Romeo like this - at all. I felt like I was back in a time machine and in 2004 because this is the dude I remember meeting, but haven't seen in literally 7 years. I had to hold back tears on set.

Nothing about this entire situation felt good. Lemme just bust that out right now. Yes, I was grateful to see him. Yes, I was SUPER happy to help him out ... but it was all so overwhelming, which I didn't anticipate.

When I say I love Romeo - I mean this is like ... GUT DEEP. I don't even love people I'm blood related to. My mom, my dad, and my brother are it for me. I didn't grow up speaking to my extended family, I didn't have close friends as a kid, and now as an adult, I don't have a lot of intimate relationships - I have no friggen attachments to people!!! I appreciate people in the moment and bam just like that I can move on. I don't get this whole notion of wanting to be besties with people for ever and ever. I think we're all on our own paths, and you gotta keep striving to be better and meet new people - it's just kinda my thing.

I stayed super quiet all day on set. Like all all day. I didn't want to leave, again, I was happy to be able to help - but I just couldn't take it emotionally. And he was AMAZING too, he kept checking in on me - asking if I was okay, if I needed anything - it's like STOP SPEAKING YOURE GOING TO MAKE ME CRYYY!!!!

Once we wrapped lunch, I asked if it was cool that I take off - he thanked me and walked me out.

This must have been weird for you, huh?

You have no idea, I said.

I walked the mile back to my bus stop where I proceeded to cry for the next hour and half. It's great though that if you're going to have a crying session to just do it right there on the bus. We're all such insular beings - no one really cares, and frankly I was dressing a little hoochie so anyone that might have thought, hey baby, lemme go talk to her - was prolly too scared after seeing the mascara running down my cheeks.

SCORE!!!!!

It's gnarly too because I wasn't crying out of sadness or, oh woe is me - why aren't we together ... it was the EXACT opposite. I was SOOO FUCKING HAPPY FOR HIM!!! He's glowing, and whatever he is doing he absolutely 100% needs to keep doing it. It was just hard for me to see someone that I've loved so much for so long there in person - it jolted me rather unexpectedly.

I am grateful for Romeo because he taught me that love can grow in my heart, and over the years it has evolved into a pretty amazing friendship. I may no longer be a participant in his life, but I wouldn't mind being a spectator from time to time. He's special ... I can't describe it ... but after over 103 dates in 9 months I can say that conclusively, hahaha.

I love Romeo. Always have, always will - but I'm not in love with him. Once love grows in your heart, it doesn't ever go away, it just evolves. You just have to be prepared and buckle up for the ride it will take you on - it's not always pretty.

Now, my single sexy self has to wipe away these tears because I have a date tomorrow. Yeppers - he's taking me to a Coldplay concert (AMAZING!!). I've been dating this duderino for a couple weeks now, and he's actually pretty rad! This will be our 4th date and upon completion it will be the longest I have dated a single person in almost 2 years!! ::score for milestones:: Who knows where that is going to go - for the first time, I'm actually too busy to care; I'm just letting it all be because I'm too tired to put too much thought into it. He's fun, and super super super smart - that's good enough for me for now, haha.

Being single may not be easy, but being reminded of love like Romeo's makes it all worth it.

HIT IT BEYONCE!!