Fun with #OkCupid: About my dating life ... lemme break something down for you all ...
Awwww ... looky looky at an email I just got on Facebook ...
First off Charlotte, thanks for reaching out - and congratulations on the beginning of a new journey in life. Let's face it, that shit ain't easy. Breaking up is soooooooooooooo hard. So so so hard. But sometimes so so so necessary.
Lemme make something clear though - I am not some crazy, feminist man-hating chiquita banana. I LOOVVVEEEE me some men - I just so happen to have problems when it comes to dating, and I just so happen to document my adventures so I can pick them apart for psychoanalysis to better myself as an individual.
I don't do these things to hate on dudes, nor am I trying to position myself to be this champion for the new modern woman. I don't like being single. Period end of sentence. Who does? At our biological core we are social creatures and predisposed to want to share, mate, and reproduce. I'd ADORE a guy to skype with, or do cutesey boyfriend/ girlfriend things with - but that's not my life. I am perpetually someone that will take any card they are given and play the best hand I can with it; it's my only option in life. I choose to be happy, so I will choose to find things that make me smile.
Dudes, I didn't even mean to go out on 103 dates in 9 months. When I was 8 months in, I hit 96 dates and wrote a mini thesis on it ... and through that post realized that I could actually package my project and write out an in depth analysis of my experience. I didn't sit there one night last summer and just say sure! 100 dates - let's go! I just sat there and counted one night and said, wow! that was a lot. That's all. There were legitimately 4 guys in that experiment that I would have stopped everything for. I'm a hopeless romantic, I can't not be - it's in my blood ... I am just waking up to a more realistic approach to Prince Charming, and am looking for more of a partner in crime than a knight in shining armor.
And dudes, even when I started my project I made sure that I had the backup of a well respected dating coach (the Art of Charm's Jordan Harbinger) to at least help some of these guys out. I didn't want to sit there and identify all of these problems with dudes and their approach without at least offering them an option in how to better themselves. Like look, here's a video Jordan did after this guy I was dating friended my best friend on Facebook without asking ...
I lead a public life because it frees me. Being this honest, open, and transparent is 90% spiritual and 10% hustle. All I have to do is post my thoughts and someone ... somewhere ... will contact me and offer to help out. Trips me the fuck out - but it works for me, so I'm going with it.
I can't not post on dating as it is a part of life, but it is not my intent to be doing this for the rest of my life. I live in the now, and I will take the knowledge I have learned in studying dating dynamics and grow that into another project when the time is right. Every. Single. Day. I play the best card in my deck and I keep on truckin. It's all that I can do.
I don't believe in a soul mate, but I do believe that like energy will find each other. I just need to understand more of what I am sending out to understand why I am attracting the people I am attracting. And that is my current mission, and I have chosen to accept it.
Above all though - I will always. always. always. believe in a thing called love. It's tattooed on my wrist, and I'm a computer nerd. I see it all day every day, and I still believe.
#thatisall
BTW, if anyone else has recently gone through a breakup, or wants to talk to someone about relationship woes - totes hit up @itsmejoolie on twitter! She's Confessions of an Unwed Bride and can totally relate to anything you are experiencing.
Keep on keepin on nerds!!! xoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo