Fun with #OkCupid: Date fail (... but not an epic #fail)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet Mike. Really really really rad dude - I actually went out on a date with him when I was in Vegas for a conference. Super duper awesome sauce. That being said, he is also, obviously, using OKC. I was curious to have a duderino come on board for a while and document OKC from their side of the monitor - so when Mike offered while we were at Comic Con I jumpppeeeddddd all up on it. For reals, mexican jumping bean style. OLE! Good stuff. Hit it Mike! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @IncredibleMikeL
Last night was my first OkCupid date in a couple months, and when I say that, please note it’s not due to a lack of trying. Seriously. I’ve revised the profile multiple times, emailed ladies, emailed back some ladies… But lets be honest, it’s gonna take a little more than just an email to score a date with someone. I’ve also ignored a bunch of emails. Yea… you heard right. I ignored a few people who wanted to get to know me (this happens when I get a one sentence email that is supposed to somehow stimulate my cerebrum enough to prompt a response. Yea… ok… ) Listen up ladies, everybody knows you hold most of the good cards in the deck…. but don’t take it for granted.
So there I was before comic-con (EPIC!) and I send this girl an email basically saying, “yea… we’ve been emailing for a month now saying ‘lets meet up’, and we’re still stuck at emailing… so WTF… let’s shit or get off the pot!”. To my delight, she writes back and says to hit her up when I’m back in Las Vegas. Sweet… Another round of emails. Whatev. I’m not gonna waste too much energy on that, I gotta save some for #SDCC.
Flash-forward to Monday. Another email…. “I’m back in LV, lets make something happen”. Apparently lightning struck while I was in San Diego. She’s like, yea, how about tomorrow. Done. I took two days off from work anyways just to be sure I was rested enough after such an epic journey, so I did have time to kill J
Keep in mind, all we know about each other is what’s on our OkC profiles.
So I show up to this brewpub called BJ’s (not the cocktail lounge… ). We ordered some yummy food and drinks (I had Hoegaarden …thanks @ItsMichaelVegas for getting me addicted!!! Damn it that beer is awesome). Things started out kinda typically, what do you do, why are you single, talk about ourselves, yadda yadda yadda…. Everything goes really well. I learned that Capt. Jean-Luc Picard is also her favorite (ever notice his cranium is kinda shaped like the alien from Alien…. Maybe I’m crazy…. )
At this point, I’m thinking, what’s the catch? She’s very attractive, a nerdy little geekstress, can hold a conversation… too good to be true. We finish up dinner, which initially was just supposed to be a “drinks date”… and we head outside. She wants to play the “which car is yours?” game. Las Vegas translation: What are you worth $$???? Savvy as I am, I say I’ll walk her to her car. Oops…. She drives a S-series Mercedes. The #fail goes to my shitty little Hyundai. Whatever... my shitty Hyundai can drive underwater and the exhaust sounds like a dolphin fart. What now!?
Some of you might be thinking, “fuck yea… seal the deal!” And I would not blame you. My “luck” doesn’t let me just get off the hook that easy. No, never that easy. She eventually confesses to me that among other less important things, she completely lied about her age. Why? She’s beautiful.., why lie? You’re 28 right??? Wtf…? No Michael…. I’m 36. I’m both impressed she still looks about 25, and kind of turned-off because of the fact she completely deceived me and everybody else. (I know,… I’m crazy..)
Then my mind races… did she just fake the entire date? What else did she lie about? If she lied literally from the first date, how can I trust her in the future if things move forward. I even went as far as telling her I might have still been interested if I had known from square one that she was 36. But she lied. On the first date. I’m not a fan.
We say our goodbyes, and I head for the hills. Thanks for the memory I guess.
Every time you lie on a date, a ninja kills a kitten!!! Well…. I suppose that’s another first/last date.
I’m @IncredibleMikeL saying “Please, don’t let another kitten die at the merciless hands of a deadly ninja”.