#NerdsUnite: Confessions of an Unwed Bride
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Julie Wilson
You miss your ex? Yeah, so do I.
There are tons of books, articles and people out there who will tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing at this time in your life. They are probably right. However, you can only do what is right for you, even if you make a mistake or two, or three.
I love making mistakes. They’re fun. Knowing it’s so wrong, but feels so right! And I’ve been making a whole hell of a lot of them lately.
Ya, I know I shouldn’t text my ex while I’m at work. Anything that leads to me crying at my desk is a huge no-no!
I most certainly know I shouldn’t talk to and see my ex. But I do. I can’t help it. I’ve known him for 8 years and sometimes I am just done with being sad and missing him. So I drive over to his house and for a few hours it’s like nothing has changed.
But of course, so very much has.
I’m aware I’m doing a lot of wrong. And that’s why I take victories where I can and I set some boundaries. When he couldn’t stop hanging out with the girl he cheated on me with while we were trying to see if we could make it work (it was in group settings, but uuuhhhh, same difference), I put my foot down and ended things. I give myself kudos for then making what I consider to be a great effort in rebuilding a life for myself. I really set out to start over and I’m proud of how I put myself out there. I’ve made a lot of friends and had a lot of fun. Enough to make my ex very jealous lol. I have done some things right. He moved out. I got a roommate. We unfriended each other on Facebook so we could have our privacy (more on that later). I WILL NOT break previously made plans to hang out with him.
Okay, one time I kinda did, but it was his birthday!
But I still see him about once a week. And sometimes we talk about getting back together.
And everyone (except one friend who has totally been there) in my life gives me shit for it, which just wigs me the fuck out. I’m not used to having people give me their opinion on my life and my actions as much as people have lately. OF COURSE, of course, of course, I understand that they are not really “giving me shit for it” they care about me and just want me to be happy and whole again!!
I just feel so lost. Without a road map. So yeah, sometimes I get turned around and have to circle back the way I came before I can figure out where it is that I am supposed to be going.
Thankfully, there are other types of mistakes to be made.
Over lunch a few weeks back one of my male friends told me, “Do you how many guys out there are just waiting to be your mistake?”
My response was simple - I can’t wait to find out.