#NerdsUnite: Are you a pump and dump?

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

So, you’re dating a woman now whose only sexual experiences have been with men who are pump and dumpers. For those of you who don’t know what a pump and dumper is,  it’s what I call ‘minutemen.’

Not the minutemen from the Revolutionary War. They get in, they thrust their hips, they pump a few times, and then they dump all their little men: all their little sea-men to swim all over the place.

A lot of women who are young (and some unfortunately who are older) have only been with pump and dumpers and they have no idea how unbelievably amazing sex can be with an attentive, sexually aware man ... a man who really knows that sex and foreplay start right inside a woman’s mind.

So let’s say you’ve done it all right.

You’ve started with sex and foreplay, and you’ve seduced her mind and you have her all turned on. How do you encourage this woman, who is basically very submissive in bed due to the fact that all of her experience is with Mr. Pump and Dump?

The reason why she is submissive, much of the time, is that she has never explored her own sexuality. A lot of women who have had pump and dumpers don’t know what they want sexually, and they are usually women who have never masturbated. They don’t know what feels good and what doesn’t. Their only experience is with Mr. P & D.

For those of you who think he is related to P & G, you’re absolutely incorrect. Pump and Dump is not Proctor & Gamble – though I heard that Proctor & Gamble makes their products for pump and dumpers. But it’s just a rumor that I heard!

Anyway, how do you encourage this woman to open up to her own sexuality?

First of all, this woman may or may not have ever had an orgasm before. I would assume that she never has.

She thinks she might be having an orgasm – it might be a momentary wave – but she is not having a full-blown orgasm.

If you ask her if she’s had an orgasm, and she says, “I think so” – there is no “I think so” when it comes down to orgasms.

Either you’ve had one or you haven’t! If a woman will tell you that she thinks she had an orgasm, it means that she has probably only experienced a little wave of pleasure and not a full orgasmic experience. Ladies, please chime in here and describe what a full orgasmic experience feels like so all the men know.

So let’s assume that she’s never had an orgasm. You’ve got to become the teacher in this relationship. She is probably the type of woman who just expects you to do whatever you want to do, and she’ll just lie there submissively.

You need to show her slowly how amazing sex is. I would take some extra time and give her a full body massage. I would spend extra time kissing her and just touching her, everywhere except in her breast and her groin area.

I would take extra time when I go down on her and not only lick her, but also to touch all parts of her body at the same time. I would also slip one finger inside as I was licking her in order to give her a different experience.

I wouldn’t ask her if she is coming.

I would just continually do all the things that I know bring pleasure to a woman, and I would ask her, “how does that feel for you? Are you enjoying this?

How do you like the pressure?

I want to please you and I want to make you feel amazing.”

Don’t say, “I want to give you an orgasm.”

Don’t tell her you want her to scream and yell.

Just say, “I want to make you feel wonderful. Okay?”

And take your time. Allow her to open up and allow her to see sex in an entirely different light. Don’t expect the magical orgasm right away. Don’t expect her to open up immediately.

Your only job is to show her – through a soothing, relaxing, attentive sexual session – just how great sex can be.

Another way to do it, too, is when you’re having sex with her, is to do the opposite of what the pump and dumpers have done.

Hold her really close to you so she can feel the tightness and feel the sensuality of sex, and then grind in very slowly as you pull her close to you. That way your pubic bone is actually massaging her clit at the same time. By doing that and staying deep inside her, you’re going to give her feelings that she has not had before and you’re going to get her to open up.

You may actually get her to start having a clitoral orgasm that way, in time.

You are also going to show her a different side of sex, going to show her the sensuality of sex so that she can feel protected, warm, and nurtured during the experience.

Right now, all she feels is used. All she feels is that guys want to get inside, get off, and leave.

So you’ve got to deal with the fact that she was with Mr. P & D. You’ve got to be tender and warm, and you’ve got to put absolutely no pressure on her at all.

By following these simple steps, you’re going to make her feel really comfortable, and you’re going to be able to get her to explore herself even more. She’ll surrender herself to you, in time, but you need to be very patient – because the other guys, the Mr. P & Ds, were not patient.

It’s your turn to be patient now.

To learn more from The Art of Charm about how to meet & attract women, visit www.afterhello.com And, if you're an LA local, you can stop by The Art of Charm office and meet the crew!

#nerdsunite

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click here to read more about the female orgasm from the female's perspective in sock monkey PJs