Time to Effing #GetItOn: Night One = Fail

OMMMGGGG last night ... haha ... epic. epic. epic. fail.

Like, wow ... and literally ... and um, yeah.

First off, if you're not familiar with my new social experiment click here to read the rules, and click here to read about my thesis on going out on 103 dates on OKC. Kinda sums it all up.

Alrite, lemme break it down for you... as Pauly D would say, it's TEE SHIRRRTTT TIMMMMEEEE!!!

Last night, I wore Effing Gear's Ames Effing Iowa Tee.

::Insert gratuitous shot of my rack::

I am wearing Effing Gear's location based tees during my experiment to act as an ice breaker. I am absolutely, utterly, and unbelievably petrified of talking to dudes at a bar. I just ... can't do it ... at all. Like if I'm in networking, work mode ... rad - I can work a room. When it comes to me like actually looking to meet a boy for personal reasons, I just can't do it; I go into full blown panic attack mode.

I never dated when I was in school (no like literally - never), and am a bit socially stunted regarding things outside of work. Guys have to approach me, hence why I'm wearing the tees - it gives them an "in." (Fortunately as well, those cheesy location based tees from like a few years ago are done with. Remember the ones? I-da-ho, no U-da-ho ... yada yada yada. Way lame.)

Alrite, so for the first night - I haddddddddd to have someone come with me and hold my hand if you will. Insert my very gay friend Ezra, who dressed particularly "gay-like" (his words not mine) for the experiment as to not confuse people that we were together. See, here he is ...

Tight tank and short shorts???

Yep, totally gay.

We first hit up Barney's Beanery in WeHo ... and the place was pretty dead. There were some dudes definitely wanting to creep but alas after one brewsky, we decided to leave and hit up Cabo Cantina on Sunset to partake in their Cinco de Drinko celebration.

Dude, no place better ... no joke. That place is NUTS to begin with, you add in Cinco De Mayo? PUH-LEASE!!

We get there, and it was wall to wall people. Like seriously ... they took out some of the tables just to pack in more peeps. For someone who has an aversion to being touched, this was the ABSOLUTELY perfect place to be!!!

So, we get there, grab some Ritas - doubles ... (ugh, that was painful) ... and just start mingling. I very literally have no type. Like none ... at all ... ever. I can't walk into a bar and be like yo, you! I want it!

Although, come to think of it - if Bradley Cooper did walk into a bar, I would say, yo! I want it. Good lord he is hot. I digress ...

I have to talk to people; intelligence is totally a panty dropper. (That is if I'm wearing any.)

It was great being with Ezra because he kept pulling me out of my shell. I wound up talking to a bunch of chicks just randomly ... and he would bite back saying, we are on a mission and excuse ourselves. HIGH-LARIOUS and was totally what I needed.

I just ... I dunno man, felt so awkward. Like the entire time. The first time you ever put yourself out there it is always scary - but people were just so trashed, and so ... uninteresting.

I honestly think it was the wrong bar to go to in this scenario. I needed more of the Barney's vibe where people could actually talk, and hear each other. Yes, there were more people at Cabo, so based on the sheer number alone I should have had better success - but they weren't the kind of people I was looking for.

I did however meet some cool chicas ... one of which I am totes besties with now on Facebook.

I just can't turn my brain off when it comes to work. I can't stop talking about social media, and the revolution we are currently experiencing ... it's tragic. I get really excited, and it's that passion for what I do that attracts people but at the same time freaks them out. One dude totally told me that I was being way too aggressive. I get it ... I am a very intense person IRL ... but I totally wasn't hitting on him ... he said he worked in tech, so I asked him to elaborate. He then pulled the, oh but you don't know who I am thing ... and I literally just excused myself from the conversation. I don't do the toe to toe thing - never been my style. It gets you no where and you expel so much energy ... just a complete waste of my time.

So yeah. Last night .... totally no bueno.

(I did however make out with a friend of mine that I bumped into at the bar. It was first base with a butt grab for a solid 30 seconds. That didn't suck - I'm a total kissing slut. I can make out for dayssssss.)

Going to try again tonight at a calmer bar. Albeit it is a Friday night, I have a feeling this one is going to be good.

Wish me luck!!!

Numbers exchanged: 0

Business cards handed out: 25

(The purpose of the experiment is to talk less about work, and more about nook nook. The ratio of numbers exchanged needs to be greater than the number of business cards handed out. As you can see, the first night wasn't good ... at all.)

#Fail