#TrueStory: In high school, I was stalked by 4 of my best friends (pt. 2)
So, as you all know from reading this site for like longer than .25 seconds - I am clearly like the most EXCITED person to be alive on this planet. Like literally. That being said, no one is born viewing life that way - wait, "no one" is the wrong term ... lemme say that very very very few are born viewing life that way. Whew - way better. I am grateful to be alive because when I was 16, I was very very very certain I was going to die. I don't say that to be dramatic; it's incredibly matter of fact and documented in court records. It also speaks to why my parents are still so overprotective of me, and why when I launched this site they couldn't speak to me, because they very literally couldn't take it after this happened. And certainly this is one of the reasons why I haven't been back to Connecticut for a prolonged visit in almost a decade.
Again, please note that names and certain locations have been changed.
Here's part one. And now onto part two ...
So, freshman year - we were besties. Yes, we fought like cats and dogs, but anyone that is that "close" would have as well. That part didn't make us special, just awesome. Tangent: It is interesting though the more I think about this story, the more that I know that I blocked so much of it out. This is very literally my best attempt, and obviously just my side of it.
Freshman year turned to sophmore year, and I was becoming more and more comfortable in my skin. I'm a very vocal person, but prior to being friends with this girl (let's call her Amber), I didn't really have a scholastic identity. I wasn't in a crowd, I was merri-weather friends with everyone - but had no best friends. Part of that was due to just moving to West Hartford the year prior, and the other part of it was something I felt inside of me; I was absolutely ... 100% incapable of fitting in. Ever. I was just sort of ... there. As a teen, that is the last thing anyone wants. We're so impressionable at that age, and high school itself is such a vicious place, you have to find your like tribe or you will be eaten alive.
Me and Amber were sisters from a different mister. It did however always bother me that during freshman year, everyone called her the hot one, and I was the cute one with the personality. It equally bothered her that boys didn't think she had a personality or that she was smart (the whole southern thing didn't help ... no offense, but this is Connecticut peoples. We're very judgmental from the womb.).
But something happened sophmore year - I'm sure it was because I was finally hitting puberty, YAYY!! Finally a B-Cup! Well, only after I stuffed, which is like the dumbest thing on the planet because then dudes think you have tits only to find out you did a switch-a-roo!! Evil! Own what you got youngins! No matter what, you'll never think it is enough.
ANYYWAYYYY ... something happened that year. I just started shedding my skin, and it pissed Amber off ... a lot. I got bit parts in a couple of plays, and boys were definitely starting to take notice. She used to say to me, I created you. You only look this way because of ME!
And she was right to a certain degree. I did take my make up, hair, and clothing tips from her - but there was also genuinely something inside of me that I decided to unleash for the first time. Something inside of me that I let shine. Something inside of me that I let ... free.
She gave me permission to wear heels, and break free from my cardigans and show my rockin little bod. HOLLER!!!
I learned a lot from Amber in those first few years, I very literally loved that girl so much - I idolized her.
At the beginning of junior year, my guidance counselor sat me down and realized that I had too many credits to be a junior.
Wait, what? I said.
Yeah - way to be such a nerd that even school takes notice and calls you out on it.
She asked me, what would you think about graduating early? If you take summer school english, and do a quarter of an independent study in gym - you can be done before senior year.
I very literally took so many classes in school, they advised me to finish early. I kid you not.
I was obviously SUPPERRRR stoked at hearing this news; I had always been an overachiever, and took so many classes out of wanting to just keep my brain busy. But getting out of school an entire year early? Fuck yeah, man! I can follow my dreams and head to NYC!!!!
Yes. Yes. Yes. I said. Sign me up!
I remember running into my class so excited at the news I had just received, and equally excited to tell Amber.
I don't remember exactly where I told her, or what the circumstances were - but I do know she wasn't pleased.
You can't leave me.
I'm not gonna leave you! Well, kinda - but not really like that, and in that way.
She then started to criticize me. Again, I don't remember what she said exactly - but it was more a matter of, you're going to miss out on so much - who leaves their senior year? You have prom, senior skip day, graduation!
I'm still going to walk with the class, and I can still go to prom and all of the activities since I'll technically be enrolled, I just don't have to go to actual classes.
That's weird, she said. Who does that?
I half smiled, still confident in my decision and still eager to pursue my dreams of moving to the big city despite the blatant resentment of my best friend.
Shortly into my junior year, Amber became obsessive. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but I remember one instance in particular that still makes the hair on the back of my neck stick up.
I had gone to a dinner with my family at my grandparents house, and I chose not to tell Amber where I was going that evening out of genuinely wanting to start to distance myself from her. Yeah, no joke - she knew where I was pretty much at every waking moment. We were in CONSTANT communication due to my blue pager (yes PAGER!!), cell phone, and even my private landline in my room; to say she and I were joint at the hip was a gross understatement.
I was at my grandmothers house when my cell started to blow up - I let the calls go to voicemail.
Then my pager goes off - 911. 911. 911.
Caller ID at the house had indicated she called multiple times there as well. When I got home, I finally checked my voicemail.
You have two new messages:
Message one ... I've been calling you, and you're not answering. Where are YOU!?!?!
Message two ... I just called XXX and found out where you were. I don't know why you didn't tell me you were just at a dinner. Bye.
I remember hearing those messages, and knowing what I had to do - I had to get new friends. I loved Amber. I loved her a lot. Dude, my family loved Amber! They called her their adopted daughter. (Yes, my parentals after a while got over the whole wearing make up and wearing skankier clothing. My grades were still stellar, and I was about to graduate high school. They decided to ease up a bit.)
It wasn't an easy decision to make, but one that I felt in my gut I had to do. Amber also had gone through a tremendous lot over her high school years. Her parents were getting a divorce and it was incredibly. incredibly. incredibly. nasty. The things her parents did were just ... sad. And something that still to this day makes me feel incredibly sorry for her. I can't imagine being in an environment like that during those formative emotional years.
I didn't know what my next doable action is in weaning off a friendship. I didn't want to stop being friends with her, but I knew this hold she had over me had to come to an end. I did the only thing I knew how to do - I drowned myself in school work, and school related activities.
That spring I had a big part in the school play - even got to go out on stage in lingerie and a towel. Super scandalous for a high school play, but haha - made me very. very. popular. Well, when I say popular, I mean like people other than my parents thought I was cool.
I also got to go to a dance that year with a boy that I had a supperrrr crush on. Like SUPPERRR crush on. A total first for me since I didn't ever get to go to those kinda things with a boy. (Hilarious though that we didn't even kiss, nor did we really do anything ever after the dance. We're totes besties on Facebook now - but he had no game ... at all, and I was a massive prude.) Things were definitely looking up for me, and they were completely independent of Amber for the first time in my high school career.
Junior year ended, and so did my daily conversations with Amber. She had been involved in a pretty serious relationship throughout all of high school, so she kept plenty busy as well. I was looking forward to summer school so I could just put all of this behind me and look forward to my future living in New York City!!!
On the first day of summer school, I noticed a familiar face in the class - it was this chick that I had math with junior year that was super quiet, but seemed super sweet. I sat down next to her.
Hi, I'm Jen! I know we had math last year, but I just wanted to say hi since we didn't really get to talk.
Hi, I'm Sarah.
Nice to meet you, Sarah!
Sarah and I instantly became new besties. Mostly I'm sure in part because after that first day, she saw me drive away from school in my white convertible that my parents had bought me after I turned 16.
We used to kick it almost every day after school. I was so excited to have a friend outside of Amber, and so excited that we had so much in common!
The way she dressed, the way she talked - we were so much alike. I didn't look up to Sarah in the same way that I did to Amber, but we just had so much fun that I didn't have to. It was different, my skin was already shed.
Dudes, summer school was a BRREEEEEEEEEZZZEEEEEE!!!! Like when I say it was a breeze, you very literally have no idea- I graduated with 110% average. Was like crazy easy, and honestly a lot of fun.
Sarah had introduced me to a bunch of her friends, and finally I felt like I had a safe way to wean off Amber and not be weird or disrespectful about it.
People are naturally supposed to outgrow each other, right?
Yeah. Wrong.
The next part of this story gets intense. Basically, my grand idea to keep Amber and Sarah separate totally blew up in my face, and resulted in them getting arrested with the following charges accumulated from just the two of them:
one count of second-degree stalking, five counts of second-degree harassment, one count of breach of peace and three counts of threatening.
and ...
two counts of second-degree harassment, two counts of threatening and one count of breach of peace.
Yep, shits about to get real.
#staytuned
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