Dear #writersblock ... you suck.

Mar 28

I would just crawl into bed, but I don't have one. My spirithood will have to do for now. BAHHHHHH!!!!! It's not even writer's block ... more like a SERIOUS emotional funk that I completely refuse to admit is present.

I'm writing a post (that now looks like will be a series of posts), on the mentalist that broke my heart that was one of the catalysts for starting this blessed little website.

It's honestly a pretty rad story, but it's unbelievably painful for me to write. I only know to do one thing in life, and that is walk towards the uncomfort - whatever it is, whatever it may be. This post is phenomenally uncomfortable for me to write.

What this dude did to me is so fucked up, and I still harbor a shit ton of anger towards him. I want to deck the fucker. Still to this day.

Posting on it is going to be the only thing that I know is going to release it ... but somehow seeing it all down on paper is just so upsetting. And dude, not even like the good kind of upset that has a release, this is the kind of upsetting that puts you to sleep for 4 days.

It's going to be called "This is a story about love, but this is not a love story," and I'm hoping it'll be done by tomorrow. It's never ever ever taken me more than 24 hours to write a single post - so this in and of itself is a trip to me.

I'm only posting the fact that I have this writer's block to not wuss out in posting it all together. I am COMPLETELY convinced that this block, whatever it is, wherever it may be - is a big part of why I am so attracted to emotionally unavailable men on OKC ... life is reflective, I myself am emotionally unavailable.

I can't continue to conduct my OKC social experiment in good conscious now that I know that there is this block that is preventing me from moving forward. No guys will stand a chance - like at all. No bueno.

Move towards the uncomfort. Move towards the uncomfort. SOOOOOO PAAAIIINNNNNFFUUULLLL!!!!

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. FUUUCCKKKK YOUUUUUUU!!!!! FTR, I am actually typing all of these out individually in hoping of lifting some of this anger. Wait, nope! Still there!!!! Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

FUUUCCKKKK YOUUUUUUU!!!!!

Thanks for letting me share.