#NoRegrets: When to play the "I love you card"
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi
Many of us hold the words, “I love you” in high regard; higher than almost any phrase we have in our language or any any language for that matter. Recently, Ashleigh and I have been working on an article about the phrase, “I love you.” So, that has left me thinking a lot about love ... how people interpret it, and when it happens. From what I have seen we tend to hold on to those words till we absolutely know we can say them and receive them in return. There is without a doubt a level of fear when it comes to playing the "I love you card." Does this mean you aren't in love with someone before you say it? The heart wants what the heart wants. We can't control it's desires any more than we can a caged rabid pit-bull. Love isn't a choice we make. It's not something we can decide to do at our own discretion; love happens and we have to deal with it. We have to press those feelings down or let them explode out of our mouths like word vomit. Deciding when to let them loose is the real game.
So lets say I've been dating a girl for about a month now and we are really clicking. I know I'm fond of her but do I love her? It's not about whether you do or don't, if you start a relationship then isn't it your intention is to love that person? It's not to hold your heart back just in case this isn't the one. They are all the one. If you go into any relationship holding back on wanting to be with someone for fear they won't love you back you will never find love. Still we bait our time and wait to say it. It's nice to be sure you love someone. What you are really waiting for is when you are sure they are in love with you too. If you are really romantically invested in someone you love them. End of story. You have given them a piece of your heart. You want to share parts of yourself with them to bridge the trust gap. So you can let them see the person inside you, that you want so desperately to be loved. In fact we should start our counting of anniversary months; as often young relationships do based around when you both agree you are in love with each other. Not when the relationship starts. Lets face it holding on to dates is really confirming that you are in love with the other person. So start it around something that matters. The first time you both agreed to love each other verbally. Not when you decided to try each other on to see if you fit right. 
There may be soul mates; but to say you can only fall in love once is the biggest pile of steaming cow shit I have ever heard. You fall in love over and over again through out your life. Generally, it isn't convenient. Sometimes you will fall for a person in a relationship, a person with drama, a person with baggage, and or crazy tendencies. Worse still are people you haven't even met, the beauty and curse of social media is it establishes amazing connections that are based only on communication and inherent trust that this person is who they say they are. Thank you skype for your ease at confirmation of self. Still you meet people that are so perfect for you yet live so far away. The fantasy is of the possibility that this relationship becomes a reality and tangible. This can easily be filed under love as well. We can't help it, it's not our choice who we fall in love with. We only get to choose how and when to tell them about it. If you are my friend and we have talked for hours over the weirdest range of topics I will tell you right now, I love you! If you are a girl that I like and that I am actively perusing chances are my heart fell for you already I'm just waiting for my mind to catch up and make the verbal call.
It's the oldest form of wall building. Stopping yourself from saying you love someone. Fear of being hurt is as powerful as acceptance of love. Building up walls to keep your stoic demeanor. Giving that flash of being ok when you know you're not with the person you want to be with. Laying on one side of a bed wondering what it would be like to have someone close enough to touch. That connection, that desire we all hold on to. That's the end game. The life you lead should have one regret, that you didn't say you loved someone when you did. Truly, this is the one thing you can always look back on and recall as something you should have done. Lost chances, lost passions, and lost time spent pining. Everything else in your life, bad decisions, missteps, and wrong turns. Sure you can call them regrets but they all fashioned you into who you are right now, but they are lessons in life. Not telling someone you loved them when you did though. That can be lost forever. That moment when you both look into each others eyes, knowing that you both want to say it and you see the wheels in your heads turning and telling you not to- to protect yourself, and then later leaving and kicking yourself for not acting on that moment. That is always regrettable. Take your moments and live them with out regrets. Tell that person you love them and if they don't respond. Oh well! They know it now. It's their turn to address their own walls. No regrets, no lost chances. Love life! Live life.
#NOREGRETS
Like whatcha read? Click here to follow Jordan on twitter!