#Warning: PMS and Public Transportation Do Not Mix
OOOMMMMGGGGGGGGG ... I have had the longest day ever. Like ever ever ever. REALLY low energy, totally PMSing. I have a super long fuse, like crazy long - I very very very rarely get angry. I'm not even kidding you, the ONLY thing in this world that pisses me off, and you'll see me throw a shit fit over, is when my phone starts acting weird. I cannot handle technology that has no reason to not be working. Albeit, I'm a bit of a mechanic - I do enjoy troubleshooting, still though, that shit pisses me off HARDCORE!
I'm not really sure where it started, but my morning COMPLETELY flew by, like woah! I had to run over to Hollywood Boxing Gym to show one of the dudes the video I made for them, since he didn't see it. Hauled ass over there, and alas! I had just missed him. Looked down at my phone again, and realized that I had to be at the train station at 4:30 to be able to get a ride to this show that I had to do this afternoon. Cool beans, I'm getting to be a pro at public transportation. It was now 4:00 pm. Started walking over to Hollywood and Highland where the train station is, and boom! OF COURSE the Oscars are happening. haha, duh. I could not navigate. For those that live in LA, I know you understand, I would rather have someone pluck every single eyelash from my eyelids than try to walk through Hollywood and Highland. There's the Walk of Fame, Grauman's Theater - it's a hot mess. People stop every 2 millimeters, and omg, it is a nightmare. You add to that the fact that the Oscars are tented up - recipe for disaster. Like hardcore. I had 7 minutes to catch my train.
I felt like I was in this alternate reality where I was all of the sudden the frog in frogger. Left, right, stop - left - left - no right! RIGHHHHHHHTTTTTT!! *smack* Game over. There were so many fucking strollers, and stupid tourists taking pictures of every god damn star - a through path was not happening. Me no likey. I finally did reach the train station, at 4:08, and natch! I missed it.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
I sat and waited the 15 minutes for the next train. The metro in LA is really not bad at all. People keep to themselves, and everyone just sort of coexists in their own state of meh. It's pretty rad, and not at all what I expected of LA public transit.
I get on the train, and my instructions were to get off at the Van Nuys station. First stop, Universal. Second stop, I dunno - wasn't paying attention. Third stop, North Hollywood. LAST STOP was screamed over the loud speaker. Wait, er, wait, last stop? No, this isn't Van Nuys!
When I reached the top of the stairs, I called my contact, and she gave me 10,000,000 directions of go down 30 feet to hang a left, and go to this street corner hang a right - then travel down xxx to yyyy and pick up zzzz. I am not an auditory learner of directions. I need to see them. Fortunately, I took out my droid and pulled up google maps.
Google maps is amazing - the turn by turn directions on the droid save my LIFE! However, the walking directions are always a bit janky. I was at a friggen train station - there were SOOOOO many buses, and it was SOOO spread out, how the hell was I going to find out which one was mine. When I first entered in the address it was telling me to take the 152. Cool, I thought - went around the big semi circle, and alas - no 152. Asked for directions from the guard, and of course, this must have been his first day, because he told me to go ALLLLLLLLLLL the way down this one block, only to find out it was the exact opposite block.
In frustration, I must have Xed out the directions - so I went to pull them back up and for some VERY ODD reason it gave me an entirely new set of directions. It was now telling me to take the Orange Line. Rad, I thought - POOF, there was the sign. "ORANGE LINE ORANGE LINE ORANGE LINE" I walk over to the bus, and sit and wait for the Orange line. What it doesn't say about the orange line is that on the actual bus, it reads Warner Transit, not Orange line. ARE YOU FRIGGEN KIDDING ME!?
After the third Warner Transit came by, I piped up and asked the driver if this was where the Orange Line picks up. He laughs and goes, sweetie, this is the Orange Line. WHY DOESN'T IT SAY THAT??? OH ANNNDDD for the record, the actual bus itself was NOT ORANGE!! There was NO INDICATOR OF SAID ORANGE-NESS!!
The guy next to me might as well have been wearing an <------I'm with stupid shirt. Only we weren't together, he was a perfect stranger, and I was standing to the right of him, not the left ... EITHER WAY, I was feeling pretty damn stupid.
Got over it, sat down in the front as the back was filled up (haha thats what she said), and took a deep sigh of relief that the end of my public transportation-ness was near.
Not two seconds into sitting down, I noticed the person next to me was in fact a little person. Not actually, a little person, but a young lad about the age of 2.
She was so small, her feet were still on the seat. Like any little person at that age, with that kind of range, she proceeded to kick me. And kick. And kick. And kick.
Her dad was sleeping, and honestly, it wasn't her fault - I never blame the kids, always the parents at that age. Instead of SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS LIKE I WANTED TO AFTER THAT MINI ADVENTURE, I simply took off my sunglasses and engaged my new nemesis in a game of peak a boo. Peak a boo ... peak a boo ... my sunglasses are also reflective, so I put them up at her eye level and watched her eyes light up with wonder at the sight of her own reflection. She played, and I was reminded that this was what life was all about. I pondered taking my new friend and placing her in my pocket while her father was still sleeping, but instead - I bid her adieu and thanked her for the smile. Of course, she had no idea what I was talking about, but it was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING how this one teeny little thing took my anxiety level from a 10 to negative 5.
Men really have no idea how much PMS can really alter the sanity in a woman's brain. You can't even help it, trust me, I've tried. There is no meditation for that much of a hormonal imbalance. Fortunately for me, it only lasts for about a day or so and is marked with either a very short fuse, or overall a quiet, withdrawn demeanor and overall low energy. Either way, note to self, avoid public transportation while PMSing at all costs. It's just not worth it. Thank you little girl for saving me. Thank you.
#thatisall
