#HowTo: Deal With Family and Friends During the Holidays

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan; he's a dating coach. Wait, not like "a" dating coach ... lemme rephrase that, he is THE dating coach. He has a show on SiriusXM called "Game On" and he's a super smarty pants when it comes to examining social dynamics. No ... like for real. </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

Well, the holidays are here again… and that means seeing family and friends that you have not seen in a while. This makes it a perfect opportunity to go back home, see everyone and show off your new identity and that new air of confidence. This is one of the best parts of developing yourself… watching them looking at you completely confused and wondering what has happened to you.

It will result into lots of family gossip like “I am worried about Billy — do you think he is on drugs?” because we all know people can’t change on the turn of a dime. Stunning your immediate family will start a chain reaction that will rip through the rest of the relatives. Now that you dress, act, talk, and walk differently and more confidently, they will notice you.

Then, you’ll get to work on old friends and ghosts from years gone by. Neighborhood friends, schoolmates, ex-girlfriends… it’s a perfect time for letting people know you are a new person and that you are no longer aimlessly drifting through the world looking for a clue.

Be careful — a lot of people around you may not like what they see and will give you a hard time about it. Its OK, let them talk and continue to be miserable. A lot of people that live in these small towns have a lot of negative friends and the sight of someone who has made it out and is having a good go at life pisses them off. They will need you as an outlet to talk shit and bring you down to feel better about themselves. They will tell you things like “Dude I know who you really are.” Let it roll off your back. You have done too much work to fold. You are untouchable now. You know they are feeling weak about themselves and are taking it out on you for having the guts to move forward in life.

You will eventually end up out at some bar — perhaps one you frequented before you left home. Your old stomping grounds, maybe? Look around at the same people still there holding on to their dreams watching everyday move forward without them. Sad isn’t it?

You are living the life. Living each moment getting stronger everyday with goals becoming more attainable everyday, it’s the fountain of youth and you have found it. Imagine when someone asks how did you change and they will what are you going to tell them? That you read a book about pickup, that you took a program? What are you going to say? It really does not matter. You know why and how you have changed and because of this, you will never go back.

Your mission while you are home is to continue growing and stay non-reactive to all negative vibes. Smile happily everyday (smiling kills naysayers) and offer value to the whole family — even the downers. The world is your oyster so show it!

Its going to be hard not to qualify yourself. You are going to want tell everyone how well you have been doing and everything you have learned… but do not do it. Your body language will do it for you. Besides, they are not going to be ready to hear these radical concepts and ideas you have learned they will feel threatened. When they are ready they will ask.

Ah, the old flames, ex-girlfriends and girls that blew you off. This is the new you! Give them a wink and a smile and continue to be a high value. They will stare at you. Let them look, hit them with some banter and move on. You have bigger and better fish to fry now and that is the mentality you want to exude.

Treat your family well. Do not be smug and don’t let them get you down. They just will not understand, but don’t worry about it. They love you and are just worried about you. Just assure them you are fine and you love them, and it will be fine.

Happy Holidays!

#nerdsunite

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert.  He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company, as well as the co-host of 'Go Legendary', a men's lifestyle & social dynamics talk show.  If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm Team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com