#WTF: About last weekend ... can I get a rundown? (Singles Mixer, Hangover Date)

Oh wowzahs, this weekend - what a clusterfuck. HAHA! It was definitely eventful, so I have a lot to catch you all up on. Grab a pair of headphones, this is what I'm listening to ...

So bitchin.

K ... so on Friday, my friend Ryan hit me up asking if we could be each other's wing people at a singles mixer event in Culver City.

Singles mixer? I thought - oh HELLLLLLL NO!!! I'm scared enough going to bars, and being in that whole "scene" - going to a singles event is my ABSOLUTE definition of hell.

Quickly realizing that I was petrified of the idea all together, I texted him back saying I'm in!

Always always ALWAYS walk towards things that make you uncomfortable - that's how you grow as a person.

I put on a mini skirt, some knee highs and a sexy cardi, and at 6 Ryan came by to pick me up and away we went.

We made small talk on the way over, but I was really really really nervous. Again, bars in general aren't my scene. I don't ever like being "on" - I just like authentic experiences. I want to genuinely be having a good time at the bar not thinking about anything and have a guy approach because I look like I'm having a blast. There is nothing authentic about mixers and events like these - everyone is a hunter, and AAHHHH even writing this out is making me anxious!!!

We get there, I order a glass of wine - and the night begins. I tweet out my anxiety as a way to hold myself accountable, and hopefully receive some support.

Keep going Friel, sure you're uncomfortable now - but walk towards the fear. Always. Always. Always walk towards the fear.

I was actually surprised by the "quality" of people - easily 90% of the room was an 8 or better on a hot or not scale of 1-10. EASILY. Very attractive people, it surprised me.

Ryan and I sit down in a corner booth and start people watching examining social dynamics.

Everyone there was single, and everyone was on the "hunt" so it was fascinating watching groups form and watching the men and women attempt to pair off. FASCINATING people watching.

The night drew on, and the wine went down. Normally not a big deal, but we left so early that I never had dinner - and wine on an empty stomach = all shades of no bueno.

My buzz gets pretty strong, and I then make notice of how UNBELIEVABLY cheesy the music is.

I want to dance! I say!! What the fuck is this music?

As if on cue, "we are family" plays over the speakers.

Really?

Really?

REALLY?!?!

I'm not even kidding you, the entire mix was like every horrible song sung at every horrible wedding. I half expected Adam Sandler to bust out with, I wanna grow old with you ...

So weird.

I then end up making small talk with a guy. He approached me, I forget with what line, but it was pretty cheesy and while he was attractive, I wasn't feeling it - so I just humored him. 

He caught on fast and walked over to another group.

Then more and more people started to arrive, and apparently the bar was now fully open to the public.

Wait, this place isn't just for the singles mixer anymore?? Well this is lame - it throws off the social dynamics. AAHHHH!!! Let's get out of here, I say to Ryan.

We then beat feet, meet up with some of his friends and head over to Rush.

Rush is the tits man, love love LOVE that place! It's in downtown Culver City and it's kinda trendy, but also kinda chill. You can dance, chill, or just get your drink on - pretty rad.

Ryan grabs me another wine, and holy shit - I quickly realize I am sch-wasted.

One of Ryan's friends brings up Dr. Phil, and him being a dick - and I was all DUDE!!! He's SUCH an asshole!! I went to his son's wedding, and he toasted his son's new bride by calling her a skinny bitch! (click here to read the story)

Now, that was the sentence that I was trying to say ... what actually came out of my mouth at that level of intoxication was - DUDEEE!! He un, ass-chwhole - son's thing - skinny bitch.

She shoots me this look, and I am now UNBELIEVABLY aware of how drunk I am.

Stop. Talking. Now. Friel.

I'm a beer girl, and trust I can DRRRIINKKKK - but wine gets me straight fucked up. I wanted to be at buzzed level "heavy" - I was legit straight face sch-wasted at that point.

Ah fuck.

I ask Ryan if we can go, and he was game.

It's only 12 though Jen, are you sure you don't want to go somewhere else?

Oh no, I said ... I lean in and whisper, I'm super wasted. Need to go home. Need bed.

Alrite, he said.

He then dropped me off, and I immediately passed out.

Like, I was SOOOOOOOOOO fucking done. SOOOOOOO fucking done. I prolly should have stuck to beers, but whatever. That much wine and no food was a recipe for disaster.

The next morning, I woke up RIDICULOUSLY hung over. Couldn't look at the screen to write you all the story, could barely move. I grabbed my blanket and pillow from my bed, and caught up on My So Called Life on the Sundance channel.

UUUGGHHHH Jordan Catalano! Why are you so HOT!

By 6pm my hangover was mostly cured, so I grabbed a shower and got ready to head over to The Anytime Show with Dominic Dierkes.

As I was getting ready, I had this really bad vibe about the night. I can't describe it, but the theater was in a not so great part of town, and taking public transportation and walking around at that time of night didn't feel like a good idea.

<tangent> I may do bat shit crazy things, but trust - every risk is calculated. </tangent>

I grabbed a hoodie, put it over my head and walked towards the bus stop. You've got this Friel. You can't go back on your word, you have to do the show. If someone does attack you, you know how to fight back - put on your big girl pants and deal.

I. Can't. Describe. This. Feeling. It was horrible - in the pit of my stomach, I KNEW I was going to either be roughed up, or mugged at some point in the evening. Things just felt "off" for lack of a better word.

Quickly realizing that what you fear you draw near, I focused on being safe, and fine for the evening.

Things always work out - stay cool.

I then arrive to do the interview without a hitch, go on stage - tell my story, and as I'm getting off stage and the show is ending - my friend Ryan (from the night before) shows up saying he was in the neighborhood and asks if I need a ride anywhere.

Really universe? Really? Did you just deliver this to me right now? HOW ARE YOU THIS AWESOME!!!

Yes! I say! I'd ADORE a ride! I'm about to go out with some of my girlfriends and was a little anxious about taking public transportation in this part of town.

Not a problem, he said - and boom! Just like that! I got a friggen ride.

YAY!!!!!

Ryan then dropped me off at my friend Shara's house where all of the girls were getting together to celebrate her birthday. 

<tangent> UGGHHH!! These girls are my SOUL!! I've known Shara (in the black dress in the middle), and Lauren (just to her right in the corset and jeans) for 5 years. They're family to me. We all found each other after having just moved to LA, and we've spent many orphan Thanksgivings together - and they're just my peeps man. I don't see them very often anymore, (and Lauren moved to Alabama) - but they're always. always. ALWAYS in my heart. </tangent>

We hung out for a bit at Shara's getting our pregame on, then headed over to the Den.

I grabbed a cab with a few of the girls, and on the way over heard this gnarly story about a guy taking a picture oh his penis next to my friend's face.

It was so gross, she said. I couldn't believe he was hard, and I was TOTALLY passed out, so who knows what else he did.

And you still hang out with him, I thought?

Which one is he?

She then told me, pointed to him - and I made a mental note.

No matter how drunk my friends get, make sure NO ONE goes home with that dude.

Mental note made, and DONE!

We then headed over to the Den (a cozy local spot on the Sunset strip) and after a few rounds, everyone was feeling pretty tipsy.

I was on beer at that point, so I was pretty kosher - but my friends were definitely starting to feel the alcohol. I then look over and notice the penis dude talking to one of my friends. Flirting VERY hard.

I grab her hand, soooooooooooo you know what he's about right?

Oh yeah! She assured me, he's harmless.

I take another look at the guy, TOTALLY disgusted by anyone that would do anything like that - and think oh HELLL NNAAWWW!!!

I then proceeded to cock block the dude the ENTIRE night!

I would grab my friends, and say GOOOOODDD I'm such a lesbian, and I'm SOOOOOOO protective - I'm sorry but you can't have them!

He was clearly getting more angry, but was also too intoxicated to know what to do about it.

::insert Nelson:: HA HA!

Fucker. I can't stand dudes that pull that shit, man. Lowest of the low to take advantage of girls when they're passed out. SUPER SLEAZY!!!

Once my friends were okay, and the penis dude calmed down - I struck up a conversation with this one guy. It was his birthday too that night, and knew some people in the group.

We talked for a bit, he bought me another beer - and I hung out with him for the rest of the night.

He was cute, whatever - I just wasn't really feeling it like that. Had great conversation, really really really rad, cute guy - but I just wasn't down.

I then made sure everyone got into cabs okay, and headed home myself. I was DEFINITELY drunk at that point, but on beer - which has a bit of a mellower vibe to it.

I got home, took out my roomie's dog (as I was dogsitting this weekend) and for some weird reason passed out on the couch. I'm not sure exactly why I did that, but it was there, I was comfy and 4.5 hours later, I woke up with a KILLER headache.

AHHHH FML, I'm hungover.

I then look at the clock - oh NOOOOOOOOOOO I have a date this afternoon!!! FUCCKKKK!!!

See, in my scheduling last week, I told this duderino from OKC that I would go out with him, and told him to meet me on Sunday knowing that on most dates you drink - I would be hungover from the party and continuing to drink is a pretty rad way to get over a hangover. In the back of my mind it seemed like an INCREDIBLY efficient thing - but when it came to the actual execution, it was the. worst. idea. ever.

I then pulled my lazy hungover bones up from the couch and got a MASSIVE whiff of dude cologne.

I start feverishly sniffing my clothes.

OMG! I thought ... it's coming from ME! But where's the dude?? I came home alone last night!! This is so WEIRD!!!!!

I then quickly pop into the shower, get my shit together - hide any potential dude-ness, by looking a little extra slutty (hey mini skirt haaayyyy) and head out the door for the date.

I then turn on my phone (which had been off and charging) and see this text message ...

AWWWW SCHNAP! I thought, it was the birthday duderino I was talking to at the end of the night - he TOTALLY kissed me, that's why I smell like guy.

It was really kinda weird too, we were just talking and he TOTALLY leaned in and laid one on me. First off, I am here with my friends, and now they're watching me make out with a guy at the bar? EWE! I am 26 almost 27, I am OVER that shit. Furthermore, you totally misread my signals, because I wasn't vibing that way with you. At all.

The details of the end of the night got a little fuzzy not out of intoxication, but just genuine exhaustion. I've been going going going for months now, and all I wanted was a night with my girls free from boys and free from all the single hanky panky. 

I totally just blocked it out, clearly.

I didn't text the dude back out of not wanting to lead him on, so I walked over to the Saddle Ranch (aka the BEST place to be hungover ever! Bottomless mimosas, and MASSIVELY bad for you food), and as I am walking up I text him to let him know I'm here.

Not 2 seconds into the door, my phone starts blowing up!

Come outside! Come outside! the texts read.

I walk out, and see LITERALLY all of my friends from the night before.

Really? Really? How many restaurants are there in Hollywood? And we ALL had the same idea??

Even hungover minds think alike.

I say hello, show my love - then explain to them that I am on a date, and can't talk.

We'll come by and say hi to you in a few, and embarrass him they laugh.

I go back inside, secure a table, and see a call from the OKC dude.

I have a bit of bad news, he says. I underestimated the time it was going to take me to get to Hollywood by public transportation, I'm about an hour away.

An HOUR away, I say??

At that point, I had already ordered a diet coke and was GENUINELY excited to not move for the next however long.

Whatever dude, just give me a call when you're here - it's fine, just get here.

I was genuinely confused at that point because I KNOW when you use google maps it actually tells you how long it's going to take to get from point A to point B. How do you not know these things and allocate time appropriately?

What a n00b, I thought.

Rather than go outside and say hi to my friends, I decided to people watch and tweet. I order a mimosa and continue to chat in 140 characters.

An hour later he arrives continuing to apologize.

I'm SOOOOO sorry he says as he approaches. I had no idea!

I then explain to him about google maps and how it says how long it's going to take you to get somewhere. I then drop it all together, and we start talking.

He's a really good conversationalist, recent transplant from the east coast - genuinely a rad dude.

I wasn't mad at him being late, whatever shit happens, but I quickly realize this guy is a newbie to the social media scene.

He knew his shit, and we had some pretty indepth talks about Facebook, and google plus - but he's at the stage in his life where he WANTS to do something epic rather than ALREADY doing something epic. When it comes to dating I want to be challenged, I want to be pushed, I'm looking for a partner. This guy is clearly smart, and motivated - but it's not going to happen. I'm already doing shit, I'm already living on my path - I'm not interested in helping a dude find it, I want him to already be on his way.

We then wrap up lunch, which he pays for (I thanked him, but also it was the right thing to do after having someone wait for you for an hour) and we walk out.

I then offer for him to reach out to me for any projects or anything he's working on, he then said he had a great time and would like to see me again. Not for a date, I thought - we're just not at the same point in our lives, but again, if he's got something professionally going on, I'd be interested to look at it.

I then walk home, reply back to all of the tweets I had received in the hour that I was waiting, and then proceeded to take a nap on the couch. Around 5 I am woken up by a text alert from my friend Rachel ...

I then run into my bedroom, grab my macbook pro and check my twitter feed.

It is LITERALLY INUNDATED with tweets from the date @replying everyone I was talking to in the hour that I was waiting for him.

Are. You. Serious? Right now?!?!?!

My whole body starts cringing. It's one thing if I had said, dear world - here's the guys twitter handle, please @reply him ... wouldn't have been mad at that - but I was having a conversation he wasn't invited to!!! Lifecasting is my profession. Social media is my everything. If I want to invite you into the conversation, I will @reply you. For you to go in and just start talking to people I'm conversing with is FUCKING WEIRD!!! And not out of having anything to hide, or whatever - he was saying INCREDIBLY nice things ... but it was Fucking. Weird. seeing it all go down in my feed. He immediately fell into the creeper category, and I very literally wanted to CRAWL UNDER THE COVERS AND HIDE!!!

Stop tweeting my friends!! I thought!!! AHHH!!

This continued to go on for nearly a half hour and I was COMPLETELY freaking out on Facebook!

I have no idea what to write to him, I thought! I can't call him out on twitter - but this. has. to. stop.

Lemme break this all down for you ... when it comes to social media and dating, do NOT, do NOT, do NOT follow someone, or friend them until at LEAST the third date. For reals, I do NOT want to know you exist until around the time we are sleeping together, and even then - enter with caution. We reveal a lot about ourselves in social media, and it can hiccup the organic rhythm and flow to dating. Women want you to be a bit mysterious - go, do your own thanngggg!! If we like you we'll come back, we WILL call you - don't force yourself on us, it makes you appear INCREDIBLY needy.

After a first meeting, this duderino should NOT have been following me on twitter, and DEFINITELY should not have friended me on Facebook.

If I wanted to see this guy again, I would have called him. If not, I just wasn't that into him! No harm, no foul - just is; dating is a crap shoot.

The fact that this guy got all up in my social media grill not only creeped me out personally, it angered me professionally. Now you've just changed the story! I thought!! I had a fun time with you, it was hilarious that you were that late, but whatevs - I had fun. Although I wasn't going to see you again anyway romantically, it didn't end on anything sour! Now, however, I have to write about this, and while I see value in explaining to people why it creeps me out, it just angers me.

Dudes, need to understand to GIVE WOMEN SPACEEEEEE!!! Go, do your own thang - again, if she's into you, SHE WILL CALL YOU!!!!

UUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I was angry less for myself, but for the fact that there was a dude out there that thought this was okay.

Ah fuck. Well, a learning experience for other people. Again duderinos, until the third date, and you're sleeping together - LEAVE. SOCIAL. MEDIA. OUT. OF. IT. It makes you look needy and that is not an attractive quality to females. In fact, I can't imagine anything being less attractive. Oh well, lesson learned.

Now excuse please, but I have to get ready to head to my lawyer's office to file paperwork for us becoming an LLC!!! YAYYY!!! Shit got real man!! Whoop whoop!

What an eventful weekend.

#kthxbye