#NerdsUnite: Confessions of an Unwed Bride
<editorsnote> Julie Wilson recently endured an agonizing break up with her fiancé after being together for 8 years. She is now in her late 20s and confused about what to do next. These are some of her frustrations, and ways she is attempting to heal from her loss. </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Julie Wilson
I feel like I should give a bit of insight as to why I actually miss this person so much. The story of our engagement is a good one.
It was 2007 and my ex and I were home for the holidays and we decided to spend Christmas at his grandparent's house in Key Largo along with his father.
We started in Ft. Lauderdale at a holiday function that his mom's side of the family was throwing. These people just about ruined the surprise that had yet to come, but luckily my ex is a good actor and I'm gullible. One of the first people we spoke to at this party was his cousin who told us "Congratulations!". I was so confused, I remember going up to his mom and being like, "Do these people think I'm pregnant or something? What's going on?" I was so clueless, I had no idea, we were so poor I never even imagined he would get the money to buy the ring in order to propose. But his grandparents used to own a jewelry store and they had helped out with the ring. I'll never forget speaking with his grandmother and seeing her eyes ever so slightly watering as she smiled at me.
Then on December 23, we went out on the boat fishing with his amazing grandfather (The man is about 80 years old and can catch a lobster on the ocean floor in 15 feet of water). When we got back it was clear that a lot of people had done the exact same thing that day. After everyone cleans their day's catch they throw the unwanteds over the edge of the dock. Then the stingrays swim by to feast. I walked over to the edge of the dock, laid down and watched the stingrays (and a nurse shark!) in delight. Then I helped clean the fish and we brought everything back to give to his grandmother to be made into a tropical holiday dinner the next night.
On Christmas Eve, after cocktails and dinner we were all just hanging out. It was around 6:00pm and I was on his grandmother's computer putzing around when my ex announced that he was going for a walk. Of course I chimed in with, "I'll go with you!" which is exactly what he was counting on.
As we often did when visiting we took a stroll down to the dock. We walked to the end where there is a single lamp. It's really beautiful there at night. I knew that since it was night there wouldn't be any stingrays still hanging out but I looked over the edge anyways. I turned around and there he was directly behind me crouched down. I couldn't see well as it was really dark. I walked over and kneeled down.
"What are you doing?"
"Julie, stand up" (we would laugh about this afterwards).
Then I saw the jewelry box and realized that he was not crouching, but was on one knee.
"OH! I stood up.
I remember how shocked and surprised I felt in that moment. And of course, how overwhelmingly happy I was as I said yes.
Neither of us even knew which hand the ring was supposed to go on (there's really no right or wrong with this, different cultures follow different rules). So he just put it on my right ring finger.
We walked back to his grandparent’s house. I remember laughing and asking, "What would you have done if I hadn't come out with you?" He said, "I was never worried, I knew that you would". When we got back his grandmother actually thought I said no because she didn't see the ring on my left hand. After she realized that we were in fact engaged she explained to both of us that the fourth finger of the left hand is considered to be the veina amoris or the "vein of love", which means that the veins are directly connected to the heart. His family had champagne and an engagement present waiting for us. I later wrote on myspace on December 30, 2007 that "it was the best Christmas present!"
It didn't last obviously. But, at least for that night, there was another person in this big world who thought that he wanted no one else in it but me.
I'll always have that.
#nerdsunite
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