The love of my life #cheated on me...sort of: Part 1

Jan 9

#TalkNerdyToMeLover’s @JenSquard

My second year in college, an opportunity came up for me to go to Ecuador and do some research for the summer. I was living with my high school sweetheart at the time, and we had been dating for a couple of years (more on that nutty man later). We were in that strange period where you feel like you either need to take it to the next level or move on. We had been having some problems, our relationship was taking a ton of work to keep it going, and we had pretty much turned into friends that lived together.

I decided to take the opportunity to go to Ecuador, and knew it wasn’t a chance I would get often in life. I worked my bunskies off in a serious way, and saved enough to pay my way. In the back of my mind I knew it would likely be the end of us, and I was okay with that.

When we got to Ecuador, I immediately fell in love with the country. The group I was with wasn’t huge, about 15 people, so we all go to know each other pretty well. We spent the first couple of days touring Quito, and I noticed a cutie patooty that I hadn’t really had the chance to meet before. He was in one of my classes in college, and I remember suggesting the trip to him, but that was it.

The majority of our group was in Ecuador for a little over two weeks. Just long enough to tour some of the major ecosystems, do some field research and exploration, and gain a little bit of culture. Three of us were planning on staying for the summer to do extensive field research on caterpillars and parasitoids.

The first week was spent in the jungle at a biological station (honestly one of the most magical places in the world, I’m sure of it). The first day there I started chatting with Brian, the cutie patoots that I hadn’t talked to before. He was pretty quiet, but also a funny guy. I immediately felt a connection to him, and did everything I could to be near him. We teamed up for our research, so we spent several days together, trekking through monsterous jungle, up crazy hills, through waist deep water, and into a swarm of flies that took huge chunks of flesh with each bite.
Yeah, we totally ate roasted guinea pig.
One day I was feeling pretty silly, so I just started sharing my ridiculousness - quoting movies, singing songs, and being a nerd. At one point I picked something up and said, “Hmm, this tastes like shit” in a british accent, and he said, “Austin, it is shit.” We made the same stupid face at each other, and then it was like the world turned off around us. Did he really just complete my idiotic obscure Austin Powers quote? Is he really finishing these made up songs? Is he actually laughing at my jokes? *sigh*

At that point people were getting tired of us and our silliness. We continued to be giggly and bizarre, and we started learning more about each other. I found out that he also had a girlfriend of a few years, and was thinking taking the next step. I’m not going to lie, the pain in my chest made me feel like I was dying. It was like a huge hole opened up when I realized that this man could never be mine. And what was I doing falling in love? I had a boyfriend, of sorts at least.

I’m not one to change my behavior just because someone isn’t datable. If I like you, I treat you the same whether you are my best friend, my boyfriend or just someone I’m next to. We sat next to each other on the boat ride home, and we spent a lot of time together over the next few days. On our down time in Quito, before heading up into the mountains, we all went salsa dancing as a group. Before we hit the club, we ate at this adorable little restaurant called The Mango Tree. We sat at a table alone together, and I remember looking up at one point, and he was staring at me. It was a look I had never received before, not one of adoration or desire....more like one of longing. It shocked me, but I totally got it. It was then that I realized I had found my match. We danced all night, and I went to bed feeling so strange...the feelings were so intense that I felt giddy and crushed at the same time.

I spent three months in a hammock in the tropics. Life = good.We spent the next week in a mountain village, and I got way way way sick. Like way sick. I only got to participate a little bit because of it, and one day Brian stayed back to keep me company. We started playing a game of either or. He would ask a question, and I would pick my preference. Like, cherries or strawberries? Hot or cold? Morning person or night owl? Funny or scary movies? We spent the entire day on a hammock, and got so engrossed in our game that we missed dinner and didn’t notice when everyone came back and went to bed. The final question of the night: Should we? Answer: Yes.

That first kiss was beyond hot. There was so much passion and intensity that I literally thought my heart would burst out of my chest. I had never felt anything so strong...or anything so right. The next day we headed back into town, and we both immediately called home to end things. My boyfriend took it pretty well...his girlfriend, not so much. But it had to happen, and I was so happy it did. It is always hard making a major life change like that, especially when you are doing it blindly, quickly, and from the other side of the equator. He decided not to get on his flight home after the end of the tour, and found a spot doing research for the summer with me. Things seemed so amazing. They weren’t.....stay tuned for the continuation of my story!