Cats: Companion or Ninja?

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

Are they the cute, cuddly pets we think them to be? Sure there are some ornery cats out there, but we've all known those narcissistic cats that are just aching for attention every second of every day. The question is, what really goes on behind closed doors. Are they really lazy and laid back? Or are they bloodthirsty ninjas? I opt for the latter.

Cats have an uncanny ability for subtlety.  They can sneak up on their prey (which is more than likely you) without it ever knowing they are coming. Just like a ninja. They can scale walls with the greatest of ease. Did you think those claws were just meant for ruining your carpet? Not at all. It is a ninja multi-tool with the ability to be used as a weapon or a climbing tool. 

Have you ever had a cat bring you "gifts" in the form of a dead bird or mostly dead lizard? Be warned, this is no gift. This is their reminder that it could be you. Sneaking up behind you and trying to trip you is yet another example of of this. They know they own us. It's just a matter of time before they come in through the ceiling and poison us in our sleep.

What about kittens? Sure, they are adorable, but keep in mind that they are just ninjas in training. All of the "playing" is really just exercises to hone the necessary skills to be a more efficient killer. Do not be fooled! Not a moment goes by where they aren't calculating all the possible and most efficient ways to kill you. 

You can't be too careful around these feline assassins. Lock your doors. Set your alarms. They are coming for you.

I will hidez from u