Fun with #OkCupid: Coordinated drunk fights back!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Coordinated drunk might be one of my most favoritest people on #OkCupid! Looky, looky what he just sent me ... (dude, I couldnt even screen shot it because it was so long ... long like your penis!)

The following is a conversation took place between okcupid and TGumb on August 15th at 11:15pm on a Sunday. Alcohol may have been involved.

okcupid: Did you write her again yet?!?
TGumb-Quit pressuring me, last time I wrote her it was posted online for the entire nerd world to see. She isn't even on this site to meet people, just crush them publicly. Although she was flat out blown away with my ability to type while drunk.
okcupid: You are a 94% Match with a 80% Friend modifier. There is only a 3% chance of her becoming an Enemy. These numbers are off the chart, you need to man up and make it happen.
TGumb- I don't even know what that means. You are a computer program that is designed to match up peoples answers to ridiculous questions. I do not need you to call out my manhood and tell me to make it happen.
okcupid: What do you think is stopping her from messaging you?
TGumb- I'm probably not nerdy enough. It appears to be her MO.
okcupid: Have you tried typing to her in Leet?
TGumb: I have no idea what you are talking about.
okcupid: Nerd fail. Leet is a nerdy way of typing that prevents noobs like you from reading things.
TGumb: You think I am really going to learn another language just to get a smiley face response from this girl. I truly hate you okcupid.
okcupid: You struck me deep TGumb, but I am not going to give up on you. You have so much potential and your statistics match up too well to quit now.
TGumb: Don't you have thousands of other people to worry about?
okcupid: There is only one way to say this. You are the chosen one TGumb. This entire program was created to see if someone could actually get Jenfriel out on a date. Thousands have tried but none of them even made it into the 90th percentile. You are our only hope.
TGumb: What if I fail and she crushes me in public by reposting my message on her website?
okcupid: Message her and you might fail. She might post this to her website for hoards of people to mock and scorn you. Do not message her and you'll be fine. But many years from now would you be willing to trade all those dates with all of those boring woman for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and get jenfriel to go on a date because of the 94% Match rate?
TGumb: That sounded a lot like Brave Heart but with no actual consequence at the end.
okcupid: I figured it was an old enough movie to steal some lines from.
TGumb: This has been going on long enough. I am almost sober thanks to you. If I message her again will you leave me alone?
okcupid: Of course.
TGumb: okcupid being transmission.


H1 J3n,
1 th1nk y0u sh0uld g1v3 m3 4 ch4nc3 4nd g3t t0 kn0w m3. 0kcup1d sur3 th1nks w3 w0uld g3t 4l0ng gr34t.
T

Dear coordinated drunk,

Yes, I would love to go out on a date with you. Tweet me ... @JenFriel xoxo