#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (how do you know when to end a date?)

DatingLife

Jan 16

It is my goal for 2013 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life.

Here is a question I got on Facebook this morning ...

First of all, thanks for reading and thanks for reaching out.

Secondly, the "leave" is kinda dependent upon the situation. There really is no cut and dry on this.

Is this a first date?

If so, for first dates I schedule them at a bar and after about two drinks (you want to get loose and open but not be drunk) I will call it an evening.

IF, however, I am super into the guy, instead of calling it a night I will suggest a change of location. You never want to be "stagnant" on a first date. When you're first getting to know someone there are only so many things you can ask them (as you want to maintain surface level conversation. NEVER EVER get into politics, religion, or anything negative.). Creating a change of scenery will give you more of an organic refresh on the conversation and keep things fun and upbeat. Anytime I pick a bar for a first date, I will also make sure there are cool "plan b and c" bars nearby for alternative points of discussion.

(That approach also only works if you don't have to be up early the next morning.)

There's nothing wrong with being honest with a guy and saying that you had a great time but you have other commitments you need to attend to. If anything, he'll respect your maturity in handling your commitments.

If the guy pays I will ALWAYS follow up the next day with a text saying thank you for dinner, drinks, etc. and at that point you have an "in" in also suggesting that you'd like to see that person again.

Ex text: I had a really great time last night. Thanks again so much for dinner and drinks. I'd love to do it again soon. =)

(I personally include a lot of smiley faces in my text messages. I own the fact that I am a girl.)

If we're talking second or third date here, then that's a horse of a different color. On the second date I will let him drop me off at home, and even walk me up for a good night kiss. (Always make sure you meet a guy at the bar or wherever for your first date, but on the second date he needs to pick you up and drop you off. Set the boundaries on what you expect from a guy regarding courtship and he will respond. If a guy gets snotty about picking you up at least you know now how dating him would be.) Third date or longer, if I'm wanting to date him seriously I will sleep with him.

As far as telling if he's into you, here's a trick I use:

If we are sitting on bar stools I will sometimes arch my back slightly forcing him to lean into me to hear what I am saying. If he is just "being polite" and shaking and nodding his head not actively listening he won't notice that I did it. If he is listening, (and especially since most bars are loud) he will have to lean in. The fact that the dude is listening to you is a very, very clear sign that he is into you.

Validate his listening with you touching your hair. Every guy ever takes that as a sign that you are also into him and that mutual reciprocation will boost his confidence.

Thanks for reading hope this helps!! xoxo

Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!