#NerdsUnite: The Circle of Strife
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi
Authors Note - I kept this gender neutral because this happens on both sides of the fence. Still I find it to hold true for the friendzoned whom complain about their inability to get the people they want. Myself included sometimes.
You see it told time and time again. The girl or guy you like is in a relationship with a complete douchebag that treats them like shit. They have told you how much they would like a guy or girl like you. You always say this of course in jest, that they should just leave their significant other and date you. You both laugh as if that reality of it, is far-fetched. You saunter home and wonder how this person can love that person and yet not even entertain thoughts of being with you. You claim it’s the nice people finish last thing, that people only love assholes, or that you were friendzoned. Well, all that may be true, but I have a speculation to make.
We’ve all have had our fair share of love interests that have fallen hard for pricks. You can’t figure out why they would continue to love this person that has lied, cheated, and abused them. To be honest, they can’t tell you why they are with them either. So let me enlighten this dark and confusing arena of the human heart. People tend to be drawn toward Alpha characteristics. People who have the right amount of confidence to step up and ask for what they want. Sadly, the nice guys and girls take a very sideways approach to sending their affection vibes. So that initial spark comes from the confidence enlisted by the aggressor. So step one is becoming confident enough to at least instagate. Once entangled with the Alpha be they women or men, those people will take the others on a whirlwind of romance and sexual fulfillment that they hadn’t expected and now, “love.” I feel people often interpret lust as love. They love the not knowing, the crazy passion of the moment, and the fierce affection. Then it all comes crashing down for them. Their whirlwind romance has to be described and titles put in place. Herein lies the fall out.
That push for titles, and roles takes the Alpha out of its dominant role and starts to form equality. The partnership is starting to develop and so the Alpha starts to pull away. They don’t want to end things, because the easy to acquire sexual partner fuels them. Yet, they don’t want to be tied to someone either. So they engage in abuse whether it’s mental or physical. The reaction is a fight to keep that spark alive from the subordinate partner. This fight is why people stay with douchebags and assholes. They become invested in trying to please the original Alpha and doing whatever they can to re-secure their affections. To the point that they find all of who they were just a month before changing. They lose their core moral values as they further debase themselves at the bequest of the partner. Whom is at the same time attempting to push them away by demanding they act in accordance with their new now outlandish requests. Outlandish for the very purpose of the Alpha assuming their partners would never let themselves go that far. As they allow themselves to break rule after rule they had set up in their hearts to maintain the affection they had for the Alphas at one time. The Alphas then stop trying to push them and just assume they will act in accordance to their whim. The Alphas know they have them and so they start allowing themselves to take chances. They breach the relationship by exploring alternatives. They engage in flirtations in front of their partner, while insisting they were only being friendly. Suddenly, they are gone for gaps of time without explanation. Nor will they give one, demanding that they deserve their own personal time and shouldn’t be held to some strict code of relationship rules.
During this time the partner becomes frantic and jealous. They lock onto any discrepancy in story and start to search for infidelity. They turn into a full blown freaked out detectives, tailing the other person, driving by their house at night wondering if they are home, lying in wait to happen upon them in social situations. This gives the Alpha more power to say they are being crazy. Of course they are being crazy; their significant other is driving them insane. If they happen to find the Alpha cheating on them, then they rationalize their own infidelity. Something they never would have done, cheating is the heroine of relationships. they swear they would never do it, but having it done to them seems to be a reason to get back. Never thinking they could just break up with the Alpha and be done with this madness. They calculate who they could use to secure the desired reaction. If but to only hurt the Alpha or turn their eye back to them. Hoping beyond hope to swing the power balance in their favor. Here’s where that nice, friendzoned person comes in. They having always been there, will still be there for this person and without a doubt that person will come to them with all these problems. Their significant other never liking the nice person, nor trusting them starts to get jealous. They know the jealousy of their partner and so uses the nice friend to play off the Alpha’s insecurities even if the Alpha no longer wants to be with his partner. Leading the unsuspecting person in the friendzone into the path of destruction. Allowing this nice person to finally make good on their desires they take this and fling it in the face of the Alpha.
A huge fight occurs, back on even ground as each of them has wronged the other now they simply agree to never do it again and apologize. Starting the cycle all over again. The amount of work they put into keeping the other person is why they fall so hard for them. When they aren’t confronted with so many disastrous fall outs and reconciliations the tie to that person is not as strong. They don’t feel like they have been through battle to win their heart. Only that it was given to them and when love is easy, it’s assumed its a friendship. The nice friend being left alone once again. Confused and worn out from constantly being the fall back. They walk away, no longer enamored with the love they had before. This creates a gap in the rant ability of the lack luster love affair. They no longer have a place to vent and therefore it all gets dumped on the Alpha. The Alpha realizes that the other will never leave and breaks up with them or the other leaves them when they have no one outside of their relationship to stabilize them. From there they move back to that quick affair they had with their friend.
That friend feeling used and skeptical of the renewed fancy of their former love, gives them little merit for fear of being used again. So upon finally realizing that the love they should have pursued was there all the time, they fight harder for it. Complaining to a new friend they had to get in the absence of the last one about how this person used to like them. The nice friend had friendzoned their love to protect their own heart. Now this enrages the desired and they can’t figure out why the nice person wouldn’t want them anymore. The nice person isn’t as nice as they used to be, because being used changes you. They become a bit of an asshole now. The previous love falls for them, because they are elusive and seem like damaged goods and could use fixing. Pushing harder and harder for them to find it in their hearts to forgive them and give them a chance. Only to have a new person falling for them while they are going after the previous nice person, who has become an asshole and the cycle starts all over again. When the new, now no longer nice Alpha forgives them. The circle of strife.
#nerdsunite
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