#NerdsUnite: The What If? (Part 2 - Cherry Popped)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi
I went through a bit of a dark time, that dark time lead me to be more creative than ever. As dark times tend to do. I discovered my style in art and have since pursued it. I discovered a world of artists willing and able to help push me to be better. Better still I discovered Journalling, thus putting me on course to becoming a writer.
Jen always said writing out everything you feel makes it easier to deal with. There is nothing but truth to that. So long as what’s inside of you, comes out in some fashion it stops eating you from the inside out. Something I never even thought I’d try, let alone become known for. After the church, in so many words, excommunicated me for living with a girl, mind you still a virgin, just living with a girl is cause for talking. Even though another grant student got knocked up, moved back home and now works in my church. Makes perfect sense.
I went on a bit of a bender ate way too much, started smoking, and drinking more, gained a fair amount of weight. So around 25 I found Ophelia again and invited her to a play my brother was in. She agreed and came up. I have never been horribly tactful so when she found out the rest of my family was there, well... she was a little stunned. She got over that to my knowledge fast and we enjoyed my brother’s play. As she was heading out I stopped her and told her how I had felt about her oh so long ago. I asked on a whim and a prayer if there was any chance of trying, “we” out. She told me she only recently got engaged. That was the end of that I suppose. Still I pushed on never really finding another girl, till I was 26. There were some here and there, but never one I really synced with. Not till a party at a friend’s house where I met Cherry and yes that’s her real name.
She was black and I had never really thought of myself as being attracted to black girls prior to that, but Cherry was a force of nature. I’ve learned since then to never limit your attraction to anyone based on any appearance. You might just miss the best thing you could ever have in your life.
She quickly swept me away. We also dated for about a year and things didn’t go so well there. She’s asked me not to talk about it because it was a part of her life that she wasn’t happy about. I respect her wishes and her desire to maintain that privacy. It’s quite a story and if you ever meet me feel free to ask. She taught me a lot about myself, life, love, and how to really live in the moment. She also taught me just where my boundaries are, what I can deal within a relationship, what I need in a relationship, and the type of girl I need to find to make me happy. She opened me up to a new world and for that I will always be grateful to her. She more than any other girl in my life prepared me for the girl I will one day marry. Let’s just say we parted ways, having discovered we were much better as friends than lovers. Ah yes, Lovers. There you have it folks, I lost my V card to a girl named Cherry. Oh, life will you never cease to amaze me.
We parted and it took about 3 months, but we finally found our friendship again. Something, I pushed hard for and you may remember a previous article I wrote on it #FML The End of Friendship. See I made sure we fought to stay friends and because we did she is one of my closest friends now. Still a break up is a break up and my go to depression cure seems to be food. I gained more weight after that and smoked a lot more. Started smoking weed as well but that stuff makes me lethargic and unable to create, so I have never really habitually smoked weed.
A few years after Cherry, while I was 28, I tried out OKcupid for a bit and met Simone. Hence why I wrote this article OK cupid I concede you work. OK, that didn’t work. She was cool and all, but man, were we different. She was very jealous and I had never dealt with jealousy before. I really couldn’t handle it. In my line of work being an artist and writer I seem to work with a lot of beautiful women. Obviously, I had been writing for TNTML at this point and so much of what I went through was documented. That ended near Christmas time. While dating Simone I ate so much food, possibly a side effect of a repressed depression. I gained something like 50 lbs. I mean I blimped and at my height blimping is a bad idea. Also during that time I had started talking with Ophelia again. She had gotten a divorce. So when Simone and I were over I thought what the Hell, I’ll see if she wants to meet up and talk about times of old. A relationship was at the back of my mind, but I wasn’t going to act on it unless I felt it was a tangible reality. She invited me up for her Birthday party and subsequently New Years. I took a trip to Wichita to see an old friend, a lost love, most importantly the biggest, “what if” in my life.
Part 3 - Falling For The 4th Time (Coming soon!)
#nerdsunite
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