#NerdsUnite: Dispelling the myths of pick up and taking steps towards a happier life
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Eric. He is a MAASSTTEERRR social dynamics expert that will be talking about his experiences in the field from both an expert, and experience perspective. He's not just saying "this is how to get the girl" he's here to share his actual life stories and lessons learned from them. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ERIC !!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Redolpho
When you think of pick up what comes to mind? For most it’s the image of outrageously dressed former dorks using magic tricks and manipulation to seduce women. I however found something very different. It is unfortunate that the industry has moved further and further into douchbaggery, only focusing on who fucked the highest number of the hottest women. There is so much substance that has been lost.
Yes I have slept with a lot of very attractive women but if you ask me what I value from the process, the bedding of women is not it. I value the self-esteem that I garnered, the comfort I feel in my own skin, the friends that I may not have met had I not known how to display my value to them and the list goes on and on. The truth is that the exploration of social dynamics is an exploration of yourself. It is finding your inner awesome, determining what makes you unique, discovering what you value in others, being able to find that value through social interaction and holding yourself to higher standards.
I recently had a discussion with my Mom about where her life is at. After some digging she confessed that she doesn’t feel as though she has any real friends. I then asked her what she saw her life looking like 10 years from now if she didn’t fix this problem that was obviously causing her distress. Her answer was that she saw herself becoming my grandfather who lives in the country alone, volunteers at a golf course, prays and reads in solitude. To each his own, but this was not what my Mom wants for herself. There are three areas of our lives that we must keep healthy; our psyche, our body, and our heart. If one of these things is lacking then it’s time to ask yourself the same question, What will your life look like in 10 years if you don’t augment your life? And even more importantly, what will your life look like if you DO make changes? Comfort does not birth change but on the other side discomfort does. So no real change happens until you decide to get out of your comfort zone and do something.
If love is one of your deficits than I am excited to say that I can help but if you are overweight or depressed I urge you to take action. Start by grabbing a piece of paper and when we’re done filling it out tape that shit to your bathroom mirror so that it stares you in the face every morning. On that piece of paper ask yourself;
Is there an area that is lacking in my life (psyche, body, love)?
What will my life look, sound and feel like 10 years from now if I don’t fix it?
What will my life look, sound and feel like 10 years from now if I do fix it?
What is my macro goal?
Ok, so now that you’ve reflected on your life and determined an area that you’d like to improve it’s time to look at micro vs macro goals. Remember that time you started a new workout plan and didn’t finish. We have all done it. Here is where most people falter, they get through the early stage of determining an area that they want to fix then they jump in. Well the problem is that without the celebration of small successes the long road to the big (macro) goal seems to drift further and further away. It is important to set tactical micro goals on a daily basis ESPECIALLY at the beginning of starting something new. Every morning you should ask yourself, What can I do today so that I can go to bed feeling like a success? Stay present and take it one day at a time.
For my friends out there that want to be better socially here is a micro tactical goal that I propose you start taking now. Look everyone in the eye and hold that contact for at least three seconds. When you look them in the eye stand tall and smile. If you are feeling self-conscious, fake it. Just the act of standing tall, smiling and holding eye contact with make you feel more confident. It’s kind of backwards but it works. For guys that have little experience talking with women that could be defined as a 9 or 10 (out of 10) make a conscious effort to engage with them in aforementioned way.
#thatisall
If you’d like to share your stories please feel free to tweet me at @redolpho or email me at eric dot rudolph dot carrillo at gmail dot com