#Status: Single. A 6 Month No Man Mission (mission aborted)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a love addict who is now purging herself of men in the hopes of finding a cure. Think she can do it?? She has given herself six months, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @nomanmission
Yep, you read it right. I have aborted my mission. After 4 months and 4 days, I decided it was high time to scrap this silly mission and I am happy I did. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me, I feel free, alive, and awake to the many possibilities that abound. The new inquiry is to go into all of my experiences with awareness, to ask myself "why" when I have desires to do something, to be aware of the reasoning behind what I choose to do. I have already noticed some patterns creeping in, and that is okay, because I am aware. I believe that so long as I am aware of what I do, I can't really go wrong. Although, that is probably just the same old me justifying.
It feels good to not have to hold back. It feels good to not be using my "NO MAN MISSION" as a crutch. It feels good to feel free to do as I choose. Is a part of me a little disappointed in myself for not completing my mission? Yes, but only the part of me that feels judged by the people who think I should have finished it, but honestly, I can't be bothered with that sort of thing. Only I have to live with the choices I make, and only I know what is right for me, only I have to learn my own lessons. Everyone else can just sit back and judge, accept, love, or leave.
What have I learned during my mission that I can now take with me back into all things "Man"? I have learned to not only value my alone time, but to revel in it. I have created a life of my own. I have become independent, more free spirited, and laid back than ever before. I have learned to be really honest with myself and my dealings with men, so as to not fall head first into the rabbit hole that is a relationship- stay tuned to see how that works out for me! I have learned that I am still just as crazy for men as I was on day one of this mission. Oh, and I have decided to stop saying that I am "boy crazy" because that will indeed attract "boys" into my life rather than men. I want a MAN. I am still a hopeless romantic who longs for true love, but I have also learned that I am not ready for a totally committed, long term relationship. Is that true? I don't know, I am still trying to hash that one out. I have learned that without my mission, I will have to be a big girl and actually tell men I am not interested in dating them rather than using my mission as my safety net. Phew. Most of all I have learned that it is important for me to fall in love with myself first, before I can even attempt to fall in love with another human being. That fact alone makes me know that I still have a ways to go before my true love enters my life.
So, what happens to my blog now? I don't know. What I learned during this time, is that I can't write about my experiences with others, it isn't fair. So, I have no idea what my blog posts will look like after today. Hell, I don't even know if I will have time to write considering I am pretty much on a "Man Bender" right now ;) Wait, I think I just came up with my next blog post. I have plenty to share and have had experiences that I could not have written better myself, so the show goes on-with a twist. Wish me luck!
Salutations to She who fulfills ALL desires!