#NerdsUnite: Tales of a pick up artist (the real deal)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Anwar. We met in Florida last year, and it was because of him that I got to go out on a date with Steve Ward. True story - Anwar tweeted about Steve's Ustream broadcast, and that's where I asked him out. That shit cray! He's a rad mofo, and active in the pick up artist community (PUA) and wants to share his tips and tricks with you today. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ANWAR!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @AJonesPUA
**Stretches Fingers**
This week has been a long week of personal re-awakening and accountability. I pride myself on ascension. Basically, this is my way of letting go of the past to keep looking forward.
But somehow.... the past has a way of creeping back to you.
We all know that March was weird month, then afterwards I had to go thru a build-a-bear type sequence to get my confidence back. The process was followed by personal reflection during one of my introverted moods. Lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling I thought about Pick up, what has it done for me and ways I could improve NOT the PUA but Anwar.
But damn.. I never knew it'd become this difficult to admit.
I confess that I have had a problem connecting with girls on a emotional level for the longest. With October marking my 9th year since my last meaningful relationship, as of late I've become to like the idea of monogamy. But the process from moving from dating to exclusive courtship still eludes me. Possibly because I haven't done it in so long or there are issues from my past I have yet to resolve THAT block me from making connections. Truthfully, I don't know and I've looked through pages of Pick Up theory for answers but I have yet to find a tangible source.
I began to backwards rationalize everything I had done to this point. Approaching, Techniques and follow up but never came to a meaningful conclusion on why. But, then I thought about my teen years and how needy I was towards girls. Constantly chasing for affection, thinking. If I just show them how much I cared, they'll eventually like me. See, I grew up watching Boy Meets World, Family Matters and Save by the bell. I always rooted for Cory, Steve and Screech to get the girl, so I happily admit to falling for their underdog storylines. But after careful thought, my neediness wasn't the answer. It's just a catalyst, but part of a bigger issue I had yet to explore.
People say your past doesn't define you, but sometimes we have to reach back there and put the broken pieces back together.
In my case it was broken pieces of my childhood.
The more I think about it, the more I lock up emotionally. Giving more reason to believe my childhood is related to my problem than I EEEEVER believed. I have to open up this can of worms to find answers. Even now, I'm procrastinating on getting to the point .... Juice just fucking do it already.
Simply put I experienced only 1 form of male to female communication.
I remember at the tender age of 4, the first cock I ever seen belonged to sister's boyfriend's when he was putting the moves on her. At 5, my brother and his girlfriend dry humping in front of me inside of our room. On separate occasions she would take me for herself also. I had no idea what was going on, I just new I was naked and she was naked. From that point on, I figured out every girl I had a relationship with I'd push for intimacy. It was the only way I knew how to connect and invest in relationships. My mother and father broke up before I turned 8. With my best resource gone. The only information I had was what I learned from experience. Because now I understand what made me look so creepy and try hard in grade school. I convinced myself I had no hidden agenda but my subcoms was telling women a whole different story. Instinctively, I think I was aware of it. Instead of addressing it I just avoided it completely.
And look, this is not a sob story in the making for the readers to feel sorry for me. I'm just a man addressing his past issues and growing from them. I've identified with problem, explored different solutions and now I've come to a conclusion.
Now the next chapter in my journey is learning to how to build a relationship from an emotional level from the basis of a friendship and getting to know them. So from here on out, no more random women. I'm making it a goal to NOT sleep with any women until I get to know them on a emotional level.
Wish me luck