#NerdsUnite: R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I work as a supervisor in a local restaurant and it's my job to keep the peace. Most of my staff has been with us long enough that I know they can all do their job proficiently. So when we recently hired new people I held them to a high standard. It's not a hard job, nor one that takes a great amount of effort. The hours are good and the people are amazing. In fact if it wasn't for the family like bond we have there, I wouldn't work there. I love my co-workers. So when a new element comes in, I view it as suspect. Enter one the product of this new lease on American assumption. The kids got a mouth like a sailor and will snap back when ever he's challenged and to whomever no matter job rank. If that alone didn't get under my skin his unwillingness to ever cooperate certainly did. 

So one night one of my veteran employees repeated a simple request to him and he screamed back a line of profane trite that contained far too many over used phrases. My toes curled at that moment and I had enough. I generally don't get angry or even blow my top, I manage to keep a pretty cool head about stuff still there are things that will get under my skin. I approached with a practiced stance stopping him mid rant and said under no circumstances are you ever to snap at someone for a simple request such as was asked of you. He countered that with an arrogant appraisal along the lines of, Yo! I wasn't mouthing off.” I said, “Well it certainly seemed so from my point of view.” He replied and I quote, “He just need to know he got to respect me bro!” I said in turn, “In this world one earns respect based on quality of work and strength in action.” He quickly surmised out loud... Very loud again, “NO! You gotsta respect me cause I'm a human being.” I disagreed and told him, If you want my respect, you will need to prove to me through actions that you are worthy of it.”  He promptly clocked out and quit. 

 I see this more and more. This attitude that all must acknowledge someone and respect them simply for existing. Without merit, accomplishment, or even proof. What happened to us all. When did we start to demand respect for little more than breathing. For being the bi-product result of our parent's poor prophylactic preparation. No dear readers this is not how respect is acquired. You do not just get it with your starting life pack. So I'm here now to break some things down for you, “the youth.” I may only be thirty and not what some might consider old. Still to the generation I am talking to, they generally see me as ancient. I was born and raised on a farm. I had chores and was not given an allowance. There was no internet and we didn't have cable. We relied on our imaginations to take us places and the books on the shelves were how we traveled there.  I learned at a very young age being one of 5 children that respect was something you had to earn through your actions. 

I recall very specifically cleaning the house one day with my brothers. We were so proud and we wanted mom to acknowledge the great feat we had accomplished. When she came home she didn't say a word, she just went about her business. We were befuddled and asked if she had noticed. She replied in kind that she had, however that she cleans the house everyday. Once we had cleaned it everyday and kept it clean she would acknowledge our prowess. That was a great moment in my life. That one moment of not getting the acclaim I sought, but instead being given a goal. Something to strive for and reach. From then on I crafted my own goals to reach, achieve, and use as a starting points for new dreams.  If you find you need to impress people, you have to earn that respect. 

There is no such thing as respect for breathing. You don't get recognized just for being there. In fact the louder you are; the better the chance of you being ignored altogether. Demanding others respect is the most backwards way of acquiring it. I look back at the people in my life that I have given the greatest amounts of respect. They are people whom not only showed great character of heart, but a work ethic you wanted to model. They were unrelenting in their pursuit of their passions and they showed their progress with pride. There was no false modesty. You should never be overly modest about the things you excel at. If they were still on that learning path though their modesty shined through. They were as eager for your feed back as a friend, as you were to hear about how they made it this far. There was always a mental exchange like scholars, not politicians or religious fanatics. There was a palpable give and take. 

Here in lays one of the greatest deterrents to my giving of respect to any that demand it. Their inability to listen and respond. To often people are so quick to one up you with either an insult or their assumed proven knowledge. To both of these instances you will see anyone back off and let go. A wise man knows when a fight cannot be won. A fool keeps screaming at the wind. I am often wise in my attempts to deal with the boisterous and obnoxious. They are like letting the air out of a balloon. As soon as you realize they will never listen to anything you have to say; you just wait for them to let all their wind out, smile, and walk away with a simple wave of the hand. There is no communication or discourse in a one sided argument. No give and take. This is why people tend to avoid hot topics like religion, sexual orientation, or politics. Chances are you may be standing next to a screamer. Any set of intellectual ears is never ready for the ignorance that pours out of these people. 

So lesson 2 after earning respect through actions, is listening before responding. I realize there will be moments when your blood boils with desire to tear someones theory to pieces, however they have allowed you to listen to them and it is only reasonable to return the favor. Listen fully to what every they say and in that time let the fire in your soul cool down a bit and compose yourself before retaliating verbally.  This way you are prepared and mentally ready to verbally retort. If they choose not to listen to your side of the rant; feel free to walk off. If you had given them your time and they refuse to do the same they are not worth your time at all. My mother also told me that she has relayed to people that I was quite a handful to raise. She said only in recent years looking back has she come to realize when ever we got into heated arguments I would always fully hear her side out before responding. She says now, that she appreciates that as she has had to deal with far to many screamers. 

In conclusion just know the older you get, the less you realize you know. So while you may be 18 and know every detail about everything and you are as sure of each of those details, as you are sure that girls will like you based on your glowing personality, know that with each year you will learn more. Each year you realize that you know far to little. Keep a cool head young bloods and wait and listen. You may end up learning a little more and with each life lesson you step that much closer to the great unknown. That chasm of blissful ignorance that the universe waves in front of our souls. Letting us know that while we know very little. If we still know who we are, so long as you aren't an arrogant self appointed dick; people may just like and listen to you. Earn your respect there my friends. Earn it!

#nerdsunite

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