Fun with #OkCupid: A dude in the OKC corral (Reasons Why I Am Single)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Kenny. We e-met through OKC and although we've never gone out on a date, he was inspired by my documentation of my online search for love, that he wanted to come on board and provide male insight into OKC. So here you go ... and now we're here ... HIT IT KENNY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @KennethArthurS

Reflection and self-evaluation are always key when trying to understand why you are in the situation that you are in.  It doesn't matter the context, whether it be why you have a certain job, a certain hobby, or a certain partner, it only matters that you should probably understand WHY you are in that situation.  If you know the WHY then that is when you can start making adjustments to set yourself back in the direction that you want to be headed in.

My current job is "IT Guy that moonlights as a writer" and I know WHY I am in that situation and so I know what I can do to switch the words "IT Guy" and "Writer."

My current hobbies include sports, movies, television, and drinking and I have no desire to change any of that.

My current relationship status is single and my current partner is Netflix.  WHY is that?  WHAT could I do to adjust that?  I've detailed a few reasons as to things that I have done recently that could explain just what has kept me on the market.  Here are a few:

I ate a Kid Cuisine for dinner -

It seemed like a fun idea at the time.  I guess what makes it even worse is that the Kid Cuisine was located in the "50% discounted food" section of Von's (Safeway) so who knows what was really wrong with that microwavable hot dog meal.  But it had a penguin on the box!  A PENGUIN!  And one of the side items was "gummy bears."  Who really WOULDN'T jump at that opportunity?

I ate Sweet Corn Mash from El Pollo Loco with the lid in my car -

I'm not proud, okay?  I really wanted to eat the sweet corn mash and I wouldn't be home for another FIVE MINUTES so I used the lid of the sweet corn mash to scoop some into my stupid mouth.  It was GOOD.

I fall asleep to old episodes of real crime stories on Netflix -

Actually right now I fall asleep to episodes of "Disorderly Conduct: Video On Patrol" and it's amazing.  Seriously the best cop videos I have ever seen.  It was on Spike in 2006 and I don't know if it was cancelled or if they just used up all of the best videos from 1990-2006 in their 26-episode run, which would not surprise me.  Almost all of the videos should be viral.

I have several old shampoo bottles in my shower -

I'm doing myself a favor and just saying "several" when the truth is that there are probably ten.  I don't know, okay?  Who keeps a giant trash bin next to their shower?  I keep a small trash bin and now I've over-exerted myself to the point where the 10 shampoo bottles wouldn't fit in there.  I'll throw them out tonight, okay?

I'll do laundry the day after I run out of clean clothes -

Fuck!

I buy new clothes once a year, at best -

Is this really a big deal?  I hate fucking shopping.  Every once in awhile I'll stop at ROSS and pick up a few items.  For some reason I have no problem going to the grocery store every single fucking day, but I can't stand buying clothes.  Well, I love having new clothes but the act of picking them out really bugs the shit out of me.  If I won the lottery, getting a "Personal Shopper" would come before paying off my bills.

There are several sports days a year in which I am unreachable -

So fucking what?

Lunchables is a meal to me -

In relation to the Kid Cuisine story, I eat Lunchables on the regular.  I don't eat KC's on the regular, but I will have a Lunchable at least once a week.  I remember when I was a kid, this would have been what I called "the dream life."  I'm just living the dream, motherfucker.

"I know this Snickers bar is in my bed somewhere." -

Yeah, I said that recently.  There are at least seven problems in my life associated with that one statement.  I think I could have probably just used that one statement rather than the previous eight and it would have summed up the entire reason as to why I am single.  

But you know what?  That shit is funny to me.  I am not necessarily embarrassed by it because if I saw it on a TV show or movie, it would make me laugh.  I would laugh AT that person and instead I am just laughing at myself.  Go ahead and laugh at me too, because that would also be funny to me.  I'm tired of really giving a shit about whether or not people laugh at me.  As Danny Glover would say, "I am indeed quite advanced in age for this shit."

So, there are nine reasons as to why I am currently single.  Why nine?  Because I really don't give a crap if I made it a round number, I just listed some things that seemed interesting to me.  I guess number 10 would be "I don't really care for round numbers."  

Will I change?  Other than throwing out the shampoo bottles and keeping Almond Snicker bars out of my bed, I am perfectly happy with myself right now.  I never said that it really bothered me that it was single or that I would be changing myself so that I could get into a relationship, I just wanted to show you some reasons as to WHY.

#thatisall

Want some more from Kenny? Follow him on twitter over yonder!

and don't forget to check out his blog!! <----- good shit! 

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