#Status: Single. A 6 Month No Man Mission (the return of Autumn)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a love addict who is now purging herself of men in the hopes of finding a cure. Think she can do it?? She has given herself six months, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @nomanmission
I should have known I was asking for trouble when I announced that my alter ego "Autumn" wanted to come out to play. The minute I chose to put on my one and only pair of red shoes, with polka dots, I must have subconsciously known that I was in for a night of shenanigans. When I ordered a lemon drop with a sugar rim, I knew I was making a choice to go down a road that I had not traveled in a very long time.
"Autumn" is the part of me that I keep under wraps almost all the time. She is wild, uninhibited, and down right naughty. Anyone who has met my alter ego "Autumn" will tell you that she is trouble. "Autumn" has been locked up deep inside me for about 3.5 years. I am a single woman for the first time in a decade. I dipped my toes in the cold water with "Trainer", I cut the chord with "Someone", and I had been on my"6 Month NO MAN Mission" for close to three months. I was ready for her to come back, with a vengeance.
When "Dirty Bob" and I showed up at the second bar, I knew I was in for it. Not only was "Trainer" there, but so was "Spiritual Gangster" (he is another story, for another time) with his roommates who are also adorable. Suddenly I felt like a dude, I felt like the player of the bunch as I fluttered between the two groups of men and flirted gratuitously with all of them. "Autumn" was out in full force. By the end of the night, I had a very cute man dancing for me, not with me, for me. That's right, and it was f'n glorious. Much to my dismay, "Trainer" left with another girl. Chances are, he got sick of watching me flirt with other guys. It's a good thing because if "Trainer" hadn't left with the blonde du jour "Autumn" probably would have ended up doing something with him that I would regret in the morning.
Saturday was a harsh reality. I got called into work the morning after drinking hard alcohol for the first time in years and unleashing the beast that is "Autumn". I suppose I was being taught a lesson. In fact I would wager to bet that I am still being taught a lesson about my good ole pal "Autumn". I think the Karma Police came to get me. After Friday night, I had the worst two days at work ever, followed by my one and only cold in the past year. The positive spin on this story is that last week I was worried that I may be forming a drinking problem, Friday night cured that for me. I have had no desire to touch alcohol since that night. Victory!
In all seriousness though, I am happy that "Autumn" made a cameo appearance during my " 6 Month No Man Mission" because having her around taught me a valuable lesson about this mission. The more I tell myself that I can't have something, the more I want it. By me putting myself on this mission, I have been denying a part of me that exists, and it just isn't natural for me to inflict such harshness on myself. It's like I was a girl who just got out of her strict catholic parents house for the first time on Friday night. The most important thing I learned is that the wild single life is not for this girl. So, what now you may be wondering? I don't know. I am taking it day by day. I do not plan to just go out and have sex and get all hot and heavy in a relationship, but I am also not going to close myself off the way I was-because I don't want to see "Autumn" again. If I continue to force myself to be a perfect angel, my devil is bound to rear her gorgeous head again, and that isn't safe for anyone, but mostly it isn't safe for me.
My name is Tiffany, and I have now entered the land of Autumn and Everything After...