Fun with #OkCupid: A dude in the OKC corral (Welcome to Fourth Date Syndrome)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Kenny. We e-met through OKC and although we've never gone out on a date, he was inspired by my documentation of my online search for love, that he wanted to come on board and provide male insight into OKC. So here you go ... and now we're here ... HIT IT KENNY!!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @casetines
I decided to write this while I’m still butt-hurt.
After finally breaking through the third wall (Third Date Syndrome) and going on a third date with somebody, I thought maybe I had some sort of mini-breakthrough. It’s been almost exactly a year since I have gone on more than two dates with somebody, so it was nice to find out what that was like again.
I just got the text that I am a nice guy (bad start) but there’s just no chemistry. No chemistry?!
Yeah, she was right. There wasn’t really any chemistry. In the end, it was just two people that are nice, got along, and had some reason to try this out for the third time and see if it was worth a fourth time. To me it was worth a fourth time. I mean, if I can just find a person that’s nice to hang out with and who finds my jokes funny and wants to hang out with me, then it’s almost worth it to be able to avoid first dates for awhile.
I’m getting kind of sick and tired of first dates. I don’t like fucking job interviews (though I do like job fucking interviews) and a first date is “Tell me about yourself! Tell me where you see yourself in five years! I will require a drug STD test.”
I like meeting people and getting to know people, but at this very moment I am a little tired of it. With the amount of work I have to do while pursuing a writing career I have very little time to get to know people. I’d rather just know someone and be at the point where I can just text them and say “What are you doing tomorrow? Want to get together?” rather than continuously go on the same first date over and over again.
In the past month I have gone on three first dates, two second dates, and one third date. Where did I wind up? In the same damn place I was a month ago. Is that progress?
It’s progress in the sense that I got to three dates with one person, but I can’t help but feel like I am going in circles. It’s like climbing a mountain and feeling like no matter how much higher you climb, eventually the chocolate will break off and throw you right back to the bottom. (I climb chocolate mountains.)
At the same time, what the hell am I supposed to do about it? It’s not like I was falling for someone and then got rejected. It was just a momentary lapse in judgment, trying to force a square peg into a round hole. (Sexual metaphor.)
I guess I can be happy that she let me know at all. I wonder if that’s what is at the other end of the third date, because usually after one or two dates, the uninterested party just stops responding. I guess either method is fine, but at least it’s a few less hours that I have to wonder about whether or not we were going to ever see each other again.
The initial reaction is “Where did I go wrong? What was it about me that sucks so much?” but that’s not really fair to me or to her. There was just nothing there. The longest lasting relationship of my life was basically between two people that felt that they had a space to fill in their lives. That’s not a good way to find a girlfriend or boyfriend. Then again, I’m single so what the hell do I know?
Yeah, still butt-hurt.
I have another first date tomorrow and I don’t really want to go on it. I didn’t really want to go on it before I got this text message and I REALLY don’t want to go on it now. I now worry that she’s going to like me and I’m not going to like her, or that I’m going to like her and she’s not going to like me. That is honestly my only concern at this moment.
I don’t want to feel like that right now and I don’t want her to feel like that. Right now I just sort of want to “be.” I want to let whatever happens happen and wander alone for awhile, perhaps running into someone along the way.
I wondered if Third Date Syndrome would turn into Fourth Date Syndrome, and apparently it has. Her and I got to a point last night that was the certain end of another failed romance.
On the bright side, I got to live out every girls dream and fool around with a doctor. #humblebrag
#thatisall
and don't forget to check out his blog!! <----- good shit!