#NerdsUnite: I met my husband on @PlentyOfFish (the first five days)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jessica. She and I met through this loverly site, and by her reaching out to me asking if she could write for us. Really rad chickie, she provided a lot of insight into my childhood for me (something you don't get every day from someone!!) - andddddd she has quite the life story. Like did you know she moved cross country for love? ORRRR that she found out her ex cheated on her by reading it on Facebook? ANNNNDDDD she even married a guy she met off of Plenty of Fish! Yep, true story! This is life as told through her eyes, and through the keyword of the nerd. HIT IT JESSICA!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ItsJessWeaver

We’ve been in our house for 5 days and the following things happened:

We got broadband cable internet, for which I am very thankful. More on that later.

We undertook our first unplanned remodeling project, which must be some kind of homeowner rite of passage. Whew, glad that’s over. Smooth sailing from here! But what had happened was, we were complete idiots and didn’t measure our new washer and dryer before we bought them. So, when they were delivered, and were too big for the doors to the laundry closet, we were TOTALLY surprised! We got super extra huge awesome discounts on the pair when we bought them, so I didn’t want to send them back. The next step was clear: attack the wall with power tools and make an opening large enough that both the washer and dryer doors could be opened at the same time. I know. Big goals. So right now there’s a big gaping hole in the wall, which is exactly what I dreamed of when I imagined my first week in my very first house. Still, I can do my laundry, which is really important. Especially since both the cats and I like to watch the clothes spin through that cool window in the front.

I found a crack in my master bathtub, where someone obviously fell while showering and jammed their knee into the fiberglass; either that, or someone kicked the tub just before he or she moved out of the house at the polite (I’m sure) request of the VA and Bank of America.

I revealed my entire psycho-ex story to a barefoot ADT representative in my kitchen. We had only just met, when she came to my house to consult with me for home security.

I supported the underground economy by paying a carpet cleaner for extra services he described as “just between you and me.” Deodorization and stain protection are not services closely monitored by his employer, apparently. Either that, or he swindled me, which I’m actually ok with, for some reason. He seemed like a nice kid. Before he left, I’d managed to give him advice on improving his credit score.

I got pulled over for speeding in my new neighborhood. Eight over. SUPPOSEDLY. I got a warning, and practically had a public panic attack, in the middle of the afternoon, over the thought that my ex, the cop, might show up in one of those damn police cars. Maybe mild PTSD, because when I am in a situation where a police officer has direct authority over me, I crumble into crazy little pieces—I feel scared, small and worthless. The uniform and the logo remind me of my ex, the way he made me feel when we were together, and it’s like I turn in on myself. Moving back into the city where he is a police officer is scary for me.

As for the cable internet—yay. It is pretty dang fast. I got a ROKU box and a subscription to Hulu Plus. We don’t have cable, or antenna channels. I actually don’t watch TV. I’m one of those people. So that must explain why there are still boxes in the garage left to unpack, and I’m sitting on the couch watching an SNL marathon.

#kthxbye

Want more from Jessica? Click here to follow her on twitter!

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