#NerdsUnite: Swept-Away By Stats- Dating Data from the Harlequin Romance Report
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Barry. He's my dating coach - and a darn tootin good one at that. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT BARRY!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @DatingCoachB
I've never liked the idea that our feelings can be broken down into numbers, but in today's dating world the single gal can use any edge she can get. So when Harlequin released it's annual 2012 Romance Report, I decided to see if their was any data that was useful. Here are the top four stats that are important to put the sass and success back into your dating life:
1) 84% Of Female Respondents Believe Romance Is 'Out There" For Them.
Perhaps we should expect this from a survey of Harlequin readers, but this notion that romance is an external thing (or guy) riding around like Dr. Ridge Steelbuns on a white stallion questing to find you is bass-ackwards, in my opinion. This is what keeps a lot of women lonely and pining. Romance isn't "out there", it's in here... inside you. Most of us attract the partner we deserve. If you dream of a Prince Charming with six-pack abs, a family fortune and who loves to give footrubs after he finishes a seventeen-hour surgery on an orphan's enlarged heart then you had better be a Rhodes-scholar Miss America contestant who is the heiress to a family fortune she intends to use to educate Burmese children. Because that's who he is likely looking for.
If you want romance, start with a look at the type of woman your ideal man would want. Then compare yourself. If you don't stack up, either change your checklist for Prince Charlie, or change yourself. I recommend the latter. Work on your emotional, physical, financial and spiritual well-being. Build a better you, from the inside-out and you'll begin attracting the right kinds of men into your life. Happy, fulfilled, self-respecting women attract the same in a partner.
Don't look to the horizons. Look within.
2) 50% Of Single Women Who Are Not Actively Dating Describe Themselves As "Lonely and Unsure"
Being passive is a killer. It's easy to get depressed, down, or feel disempowered if you aren't doing anything about your dating life. Actively dating keeps you in motion. It reminds you there is hope. It builds your confidence and optimism. Guess what, it's also a lot of FUN!
When you are dating you will feel more motivated to take care of yourself instead of saying, "Why bother, no one's gonna see me like this anyways."
The laws of energy state that an object in motion wants to stay in motion and an object at rest wants to stay at rest. If your dating life is at a standstill, give it a push-start fast or you'll be burying a dead dating life that rest-in-peace.
But how do you get that jumpstart? Check out #3!
3) 78% Of Pressure To Actively Date Comes From Friends
If you're in the dating doldrums, reconnect with some single friends. Friends are the single biggest influence on our dating behaviors, and you get to choose your friends, so choose ones who support your dating goals! There is a saying that goes, your five closest friends are a reflection of who you are.
Get off the couch by enlisting a single gal-pal for a shopping day with nail and hair trip. Fun bonding, great confidence boost, and it gets you ready to prowl the town for fun. When you do go out, don;t focus on meeting men. Focus on having a fun time. Men will naturally gravitate towards the women who are having the most fun in the room.
So what are you waiting for? Call your single BFF and get girl-time going!
4) The Top Four Most Common Turn-Offs For Men
They are: #1 Bad Breath (57%), #2 Excessive Drinking (39%), #3 Smoking (39%), and #4 Excessive Sweatiness (39%). So once you've met that great guy, make sure the gum, mints and mouthwash brigade have visited your mouth before you get close to him. Also, consider having just that one or two drinks, but no more.
If you're using alcohol to feel less nervous, it's time to look at ways to be more confident (see #1) so you don't need to get inebriated to feel comfortable being yourself. Smoking is not something you can easily change, but be aware that your habit may be costing you up to 40% of the guys you meet.
If you tend to sweat a lot, take it into account before dancing up a storm or wearing a sweater on the first date. Remember that certain substances, like alcohol, will also lead to more sweating.
Get those four under control and you'll cruise to a kiss. For those who are curious, here are the other turn offs guys had: 26% Open Mouthed Chewing, 26% Extreme Sarcasm, 26% Loud burping.
There you go! Now you have the knowledge to be the best you can be in the dating world! Time to get up and get out there, girl! And hey, if it doesn't go well, you can always head home and curl up on the couch with a Harlequin. Dr. Steelbuns and his stallion are waiting.
#nerdsunite
click here to follow Barry on twitter!
Barry Price is a dating coach who is the son of a single mother and a geek who learned to meet women. Because loneliness sucks he is on a crusade to end it. He cares about you enough to tell you the truth instead of what you want to hear. Men can find him at www.GetTheGirlYouDeserve.com. Women can find him on Twitter @DatingCoachB or via Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/sillyplatypus. He is giving a live talk for Single Men from 5:30-7:30 Feb 27th at Mystic Journey Bookstore in Venice, CA and a talk for Single Women on March 30th at Mystic Journey Bookstore (time to be determined). He wishes you dating success and reminds you of his mantra "Have fun flirting!".