#NerdsUnite: What Dating Stage Are You At?

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Barry. He's my dating/ life coach, and he's a pretty rad mofo! Definitely has helped me break through a lot of things on an emotional and psychological level .... me gusta mucho. He's here to now share those nerdy nuggets of wisdom with you all. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT BARRY!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @DatingCoachB

I love dating-coaching and helping clients. One of the reasons I do this fairly well is that I've lived all three stages of the dating cycle.

All through high school and the first few years of college I was frustrated and lonely, which added up to horny, leading me to my second stage.

For most of my twenties I was obsessed with meeting, dating and bedding women. I still did it with respect and a minimum of manipulation, mind you (is it manipulative to whisper a sexy Spanish love poem in a woman's ear?) but the fact is I was a player. Casual sex was the thing. Until I ended up trying to date 8 women with only 7 nights in the week and I realized I'd gone WAY TOO FAR. Which brings us to stage three.

After I turned thirty I settled down. It became less about chasing casual sex, and more about a real, quality relationship with like, you know, emotions and stuff. You could say I was finally maturing!

So when I work with a male client, I really empathize with whichever stage they are at, from frustrated through sowing his wild oats, to settling down with a girl he deserves.

It seems like a big problem in the dating world for women and men is trying to date someone who is at a different stage than you are.

My female clients also hit a stage where quality of relationship becomes more important than attraction and chemistry. They give up the fascinating bad boys, and the radical Che Guevara t-shirt wearers and look for a grown-man with whom they can create a meaningful, committed relationship. It still has to have passion, of course, but the chemsitry becomes less about teenage self expression (when you sleep with guys out of defiance, danger, or fascination) and more about emotional-based chemistry.

We all need to honor our three stages, and accept others for where they are at. It all starts with knowing which stage your at, and understanding why. Then deciding whether to date someone else at the same stage, or move on to the next stage if this one is no longer serving you.

So, what stage are you at, and why is it where you need to be?

The answers you discover could be very revealing.

Happy Dating!

#nerdsunite

Twitter: @DatingCoachB
Website: www.GetTheGirlYouDeserve.com
(Ladies' Website, www.GetTheGuyYouDeserve.com Coming Soon!)