#NerdsUnite: My name is Alicia and I'm doing 50 dates in 50 states (Wyoming)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Alicia. She's about to embark on a 50 dates in 50 states dating documentary. She's here today to talk about her views on life, love, and all things through her nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ALICIA!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Alicia Ostarello
Dating isn’t always convenient to one’s schedule. In fact, I’m not convinced it should be — if you really think someone is the cat’s meow, you’ll go out of your way to give them your time. When Megan and I decided we would stop in Yellowstone to let out her inner Girl Scout, it was my job to find a nice chap to join us in our outdoor adventure, convenient or not. Enter Steve, a full-time National Parks employee, and a hike up the 1,393 ascent to the tip of Mt. Washburn.
Even before we entered the park, Megan and I noticed the dirty haze sweeping in from the Idaho fires that had settled over much of the north. One benefit had been spectacular sunsets and moonrises — imagine a deep pink moon casting a reflection upon Yellowstone Lake. It took our breath away. Yes, in most ways the fires are bad. But they have surprisingly beautiful repercussions. And even the haze couldn’t steal Yellowstone’s beauty.
Conversation flowed. Steve and I wound up having a mutual enjoyment of sci-fi novels, hometowns just 30 miles apart, experience in playing brass instruments, and an interesting sense of not wanting to settle down but knowing that soon, we would want to. And then, he sort of offhandedly brought up the fact that he’d been writing lately, but was a little shy about it. Thanks to my days as a writing instructor, I have a lot of thoughts for new writers.
Chatter crescendoed as we made our way toward the 10,000-foot peak. Apparently, working at Yellowstone can be a lot like living in the dorms at college: drama, drama, drama. Start dating — or sleeping with — someone in the area where you’re living, break up a few weeks later, and shazam! You’re stuck running into him or her the rest of the season. It takes a mature person to accept that continuous emotional brouhaha with grace.
While descending Mt. Washburn, conversation quieted. Knowing Steve spent a good amount of time moving about, from park job to park job, I asked him if dating while living the life of a nomad was a challenge. He conceded that it was, and brought up something else pretty interesting: he said he often felt like he didn’t have enough hours in the day to get everything he wanted accomplished. From work to hiking to writing — well, he wasn’t ever as productive as he wanted to be.
All this made me wonder again about the convenience factor. A common complaint from men I date is that I’m too busy and don’t want to give up my time for the guy. Through my busyness, I often expect to just nestle a guy into my life. Listening to Steve, I couldn’t help but think it sounded like he wasn’t quite ready to acquiesce his time for someone. Which makes me think maybe part of my dating woes stems not the guys I choose to go out so much as how I prioritize my time. Dating, and hopefully love, may not smoothly fit into the creases I build for myself. So a successful relationship will require rearranging how I spend my time. But do I make that concession early in a relationship, or do I wait until I find someone for whom I’m willing to change naturally?
#nerdsunite
Alicia Ostarello has combined her talents in talking to strangers with degrees in English and Sociology and is currently taking a road trip across the country with one goal in mind: to go on a first date in every single state. Follow her trip and the documentary film being produced about it, 50/50: A Dating Documentary on Facebook at facebook.com/5050ADatingDocumentary.