#NerdsUnite: The Trouble with Muses
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi
I have been drawing and writing for a while now. The rate at which I produce is how I feel I sustain my life. If I am not creating or pushing myself to create, I feel like I’m dying. I know that sounds extreme, but it’s true. I don’t ever want to stop or let up in my pursuit to better myself as an artist or a writer. In fact when I hit an artist block I feel like I’m aging. So as long as I am creating I feel like I am immortal. So every day I draw or write. When I am at work I am thinking of ideas to create, stories to pen, poems to put to paper, and some would think that is draining. I find it exhilarating. I look for inspiration everywhere and therein lay the Muses. I am fascinated with the ability people play in granting you vision into the beauty you can offer through your own art. I have had many muses and some of them may have never even known it. Most who do, are of course excited and thankful to be the cause for creation. So naturally the girls I like or date garner that privilege more than the rest. As I grow to know who they are more and more who they are issues forth from my works of art with more and more detail. Beauty filtered through a pen and they see themselves and smile. Until there comes a new muse.
See I can’t always be responsible for where inspiration comes from. Sometimes it’s as simple as a girl or even a guy sitting across from me at a coffee shop. Other times a musician or model who just seems to spark my interest. I can’t say when or where these times will happen, however I can say it has been troublesome in past relationships. It comes with questions and explanations that are rarely accepted. If you love me why can’t I be the focus of all your artwork? Why do you need to go looking for inspiration outside of the relationship? Artists the world over have no doubt dealt with this. In fact it is a safe assumption that’s why so many artists are hopeless romantics, chasers of the impossible, or single. Finding a significant other that understands the ways of inspiration without the accompaniment of jealousy is a tough treasure hunt. I had one X that actually told me she wanted me to draw her more times than the previous girlfriend. Whom I had been with for over two years. Keep in mind inspiration from the ones you love will be prevalent in your art, but over time that just grows. It doesn’t come in an instant.
Follow that with the fear of creation. What if the way you interpret your loved ones is not to their liking. Many of my artistic friends are very cautious about drawing their friends and more so their significant others. Trust me, I have drawn pictures of people trying to capture who they are when I wasn’t inspired. They asked me to draw them and I failed horribly. It’s a weird world for creators. If you do comedy and you tell someone that’s your line of work the first words out of their mouth are, “Say something funny!” Much the same with an artist or a poet. Draw me or write a poem about me are quick responses you get from anyone that finds out what you do. I cannot tell you the amount of times I was drawing at a bar and had a girl sit down next to me and utter this exact phrase, “Oh you’re an artist, you should draw me!” Why? Have you inspired me? Maybe if you do I will draw you, but your existence at this point isn’t reason to create without merit. Of course you can’t tell someone that. So I usually do a quick sketch to placate their curiosity and that may be good or bad. In this way I relate in some small fraction to the beautiful girls that have to placate and deny suitors for simply being pretty or a girl.
Relationships are complicated enough without adding reasons for jealousy. Previous muses are generally close friends of mine. I don’t mean to brag, but I have a serious number of very beautiful female friends. That certainly doesn’t help. I am not willing to give up these friendships for a new love either. I know it may be stupid... but I hate it when people get into a relationship with a stranger and estrange all their friends because their significant other can’t trust them. What is a relationship, if not trust that someone will be faithful to you. I digress... the point is that this is just the reality of artists. We may have many muses, many points of inspiration, many reasons to draw. You the new relationship, may not always be the center of our creativity. I can tell you for my part however, if you are the one I love. I will not give you cause to doubt my loyalty. I will never cheat, nor falter in my capacity to be a suitable suitor for you. So long as you understand the trouble that comes with muses.
#nerdsunite
click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!