#NerdsUnite: I met my husband on @PlentyOfFish (My @match ex-boyfriend's mom is my realtor)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jessica. She and I met through this loverly site, and by her reaching out to me asking if she could write for us. Really rad chickie, she provided a lot of insight into my childhood for me (something you don't get every day from someone!!) - andddddd she has quite the life story. Like did you know she moved cross country for love? ORRRR that she found out her ex cheated on her by reading it on Facebook? ANNNNDDDD she even married a guy she met off of Plenty of Fish! Yep, true story! This is life as told through her eyes, and through the keyword of the nerd. HIT IT JESSICA!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ItsJessWeaver
So, there comes a point in every person’s life when the home you grew up in is no longer “home”. I had the good fortune to grow up in one place. I spent my child and young adulthood in one house, and I got pretty attached to that house. I used to go on trips to my grandma’s house or to camp and get homesick for the house—not really the people. For me, it was all about the feeling of home.
I have lived across the country from my childhood home for 5 ½ years , but I just now came to the realization that my parent’s home was not “home” anymore. It happened over Christmas break, and I think it had a little bit to do with how emotionally distant I am from my family. It isn’t my choice, and I can’t change it, but I realize it is something I have to accept. My husband and I don’t want to live away from both of our families; staying here is the right thing for us. His family is here, and when we have kids, I want them to have aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents around them.
With Tim’s new job, though, moving became a no-brainer—we can’t sustain the commuting costs living out in the sticks where we currently rent. We DO live out in the sticks—septic, well water, no TV signal, the whole nine yards. As a city girl, I actually appreciate the quiet for a change, but gas is expensive. So, sooner than later we’ll need to relocate closer to the city. As I trolled craigslist and real estate sites on the web for rentals, I got more and more depressed. All this money to rent someone else’s property—all this work to move just to move again sometime soon…it was enough to ruin an entire day. That is, before I realized my mistake. What was my mistake? Well, my first mistake was that I didn’t ask Facebook. This is what I love about Facebook, by the way—I get so much help and love from my faraway friends. I posted a status update about how I was starting to feel like maybe we should be buying a house instead of renting, but as far as I knew, we couldn’t afford it. Right away, a good friend of mine messaged me. She and her husband had recently purchased a house, and she seemed pretty convinced I was running the math wrong. She helped me figure out that I might be able to actually afford a house, and what steps I should take first if I wanted to explore the possibility. At this point I’m thinking—no way. This can’t really be happening. I can’t honestly be thinking about taking out a mortgage and buying a house—but, as weird as it felt, I went with it.
So, I started looking. I looked at home listings online, I looked into mortgage lending programs, and I researched real estate. I spent a whole weekend on real estate sites, and waited for a realtor to call me. My bank has a moving referral service I thought would be useful—and they promised a local realtor they work with would call me within 24 hours. That didn’t happen. Of course, I posted on Facebook again about my new obsession, and the next wonderful thing happened—a realtor friend commented. No need to wait for some dude I don’t know to try to figure out what kind of house I wanted to live in—not when I have my own personal secret real estate weapon. Now, I have to say, this isn’t just any friend. This fine lady is the mother of my ex-boyfriend, the one I met on Match.com! (Small world, EH?) I always liked her when I was dating him, and I decided I was not going to wait any longer for the other realtor to call me. We were on the same wavelength immediately, and picked out a bunch of houses to see the next night. She gave me some lender options, I got the ball rolling on that, and the next night we went on our first treasure hunt. We saw 6 houses in one night, and only one that we really loved. We really, really love this house. Walking into this house was like going on a first date with someone you really, really like—my heart was beating fast, my pupils were probably dilated, I was making awkward small talk and laughing a little too loud...I was a goner. Kitchen a bit small? NO PROBLEM. Walls too vanilla? WHO CARES. This is the house we want.
So, in the space of three days, I went from being depressed about renting to sitting at a table reading a contract so I could officially make my first offer on a house.
The best thing about it? We were at my realtor’s office, and her son was there. Yep, her son, the one I met on Match.com and dated for three months. Even though things didn’t work out between us (breakups aren’t ever fun—even if you know it’s the right thing to do), we still stayed in touch—well, we stayed friends on Facebook, which is kind of the same thing. I credit him with teaching me that a guy can be really good, smart, cute and kind without being “the one”. He was the guy with the killer profile and the wicked sarcastic sense of humor. He was the guy I wanted very much to love—but even I had to admit that love isn’t something you can make yourself feel, and a relationship isn’t going to work if you don’t want the same things. All in all, I consider my past relationship with him to be one of my most valuable because we didn’t end up hating each other, he taught me a lot, and he’s just a good dude. But we all sat there thinking—wow. The truth is, when you first meet someone, you never know where that relationship will take you. We met on a dating site, were together for three months, broke up and now, 18 months later, I just signed a contract for his mom to represent me in my first ever real estate deal—all made possible by the power of Facebook.
We may not get the house—we are still waiting to hear back from the seller—but I can’t help feeling like I’ve already won. I’m excited to be at a point in my life where I can consider buying a house of my own, and I’m amazed at how connected I am. I love that I’m surrounded (online and IRL!) by smart and fabulous people who can encourage me to keep going-- moving forward, taking risks, and seizing opportunities.
My friends may not be millionaires, but having them on my side still makes me feel pretty rich.
#thatisall
Want more from Jessica? Click here to follow her on twitter!