#Adventures in Randomness and Rock & Roll w @leah_cevoli (I did something scary PT 2)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Leah. She's pretty rad and has an INCREDIBLY random life. Like, no - for reals ... did you know she has an obsession with vampires, psychics, and tarot card readers ... and she had more sex as a teenager than in her 30s ... anddddd she even had two ex boyfriends die violently - one from a heroin overdose, and the other was murdered. Holy moly roli poli oli - that shit be cray cray. Either way, she's now here to write about her life, love, and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LEAH!!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Leah_Cevoli
(If you missed part one, read that first for context: PART ONE!)
I arrived at my destination about 10 minutes into the registration/mingle portion of the “Single in the City”, speed-dating event. As I entered the bar I was greeted instantly by Christina and her assistant. They explained the drink and food specials, handed me my table-card which I would use later to take notes on each of the speed-dates, and finally an ice-breaker game to play before-hand.
I looked around and saw a crowd that at first glance appeared to be very much *not* the fun-loving, typically entertainment industry type social circle that I frequent back home in Los Angeles, however, I had signed up for this and was going to experience it 100%.
I jumped right in with the ice-breaker game (the object was to fill in the entire graph with the initials of ppl in the room that had done said object on paper, i.e. travelled out of the country, owns a motorcycle, been to a movie theater in the past month, etc etc), by approaching the very first guy(s) at the end of the bar closest to the entrance. I figured, I might as well go straight down the bar.
What I noticed, besides the fact that most of these guys seemed 50x more nervous being approached by a woman than your typical comic-con attendee, was that no one expanded on their answer. I would approach each guy or guys in most cases, they seemed to turn around in groups, and after I introduced myself and asked them if they could fill in any empty spots on my graph, they were done with our interaction. There was SO much room to take this ice-breaker further, but in 100% of my interactions they initialed the square and were done. In some cases, I even had to say, “Don’t you want me to initial something on yours?”
In their defense, I walked in with my hair and makeup completely done, jewelry on, high-heeled sandals, I looked GOOD.. which may make an already shy guy, even shyer, BUT I was also *extremely* friendly and approached every single guy at that bar, EVERY guy, including the 2 gentlemen that looked like they stepped straight out of the Revenge of the Nerds movie from the 1980's
My evaluation of the ice-breaker game— it was a great idea, but the men seemed way more interested in the appetizers than playing the game with us ladies.
Hello. My name is Leah C.
I am.. a Taurus, Free-Spirit, and Spiritual.
I enjoy… Yoga, Road-Trips, and Thunderstorms.
That is what I put on my “table-card” that they handed me when I walked into the event. 3 blanks for “I am” and 3 blanks for “I enjoy”. It is this card that you place in front of you on your table, and is the topic starter of each 5 1/2 minute speed date. On the back of our “table card” is a place to take notes on each ‘date’ as well as circle yes/no for a match. (A match = Yes, give this guy my contact info, I’d go out on a date w/him sometime.)
There were 11 guys, 11 girls. They sat each of us ladies at a numbered table, I got my favorite number 4, and then every 5 1/2 minutes time is up and the gent at your table, dismisses himself and heads to the next table in the sequence. Easy enough.
#1- This guy was one of the Revenge of the Nerds guys, with a very high-pitched shrill voice. He read my table-card out-loud, I read his, and then we both fumbled to fill up the next 5 minutes and 15 seconds. I resorted to grabbing one of the cards on the table with suggested topic starters, and randomly chose a #, asking him “if you were an animal what would you be”. His answer was “a fox”, which believe it or not, fit this gentlemen’s physical appearance.. that made him laugh, loosened him up a bit, and pretty soon he was off to the next table.
#2- This guy, appearance wise, was the only one that I had approached during the ice-breaker that struck me as somewhat-attractive (in my opinion), but had come off a little snotty and disinterested. He sat down, and the conversation flowed pretty nicely. We got on the topic of outdoors adventures and he told me of some great places not far away where he’s gone hiking that have waterfalls. Originally from Boston.
#3 This gentleman was handsome in an at least 12years older if not more way, a silver fox I suppose you’d call him. I was intrigued at first, he asked why I put thunderstorms on my card, and talked about travelling.. and then he made a distasteful lesbian joke, and lost me completely.
*It was somewhere around this point that I had to hold back my tears, and convince myself not to make a quick get-away to my car*.
#4 Was what one would call a “south philly guido”, however he is the only one that sat down and immediately asked ME a question, and a good one. He simply said, with deep blue eyes, “Why are you here?”. So I answered him, honestly. His reasons.. were somewhat similar, basically he said he wanted to get out of the club scene, and move onto a real relationship. He had a govt job. Mr. Guido was starting to win me over, and then he told me he had a 10yr old daughter. The daughter is not the problem, his answer to how often he sees his daughter was the problem. He gets to see her every other weekend, and “ya know, sometimes if I’m not busy doing something else, I’ll pick her up and go to a movie.” Rewind. What?
If I’m going to date someone with a child, I want the answer to be somewhere along the lines of “I see her as much as humanly possible!” (with excitement and passion).
#5 was the other Revenge of the Nerds guy, but he was the overly nervous, so I’m going to talk a lot kinda guy. He was fun, funny tho, and we ended up talking about voice-over as it was something he was interested in pursuing.
#6 was originally from San Francisco and now lived in Media, PA. A hip little town not far from where I went to High School. He’ read my card out loud, and said, Oh I’m spiritual to, without elaborating. He’s one of only two that asked me what I did for a living, and talked a little bit about the entertainment community in Media, PA.
*At this point we took a break. 6 down. 5 to go. I went up to the bar with the girl at the table next to me, to order some appetizers and this is when we found out that the appetizers that all of the men were chowing down on during the ice-breaker portion was actually for all of us, provided for us, free from the event. *sigh* So the kitchen cooked another round of appetizers as the majority of the ladies didn’t eat any from the first batch. *
#7 was my first non-white dater, and the only one that asked me what I meant by “spiritual”, which allowed me to talk about my journey from Catholicism to where I am today. He considered himself spiritual as well, and explained that his parents were Catholic and Muslim, but didn’t go much into his own beliefs. We talked mainly about yoga, which was something he was wanting to try.
#8 sat down at the table with a completely BLANK table-card. He didn’t fill in his likes, he didn’t fill in his enjoys, I don’t even think he put his name. When I asked him to verbally fill in the blanks for me, he acted as if I was making him do a chore he really didn’t want to do. I was pretty much completely turned off by this dude, and then upon finding out I was an actor, he asked the question that is simply a big pet-peeve of mine.. “Oh what have you done? Anything I would know? Have I seen you in anything?” I really just hate this question for a number of reasons, first of all, it’s like having to prove my level of success or lack of success in the entertainment world to a complete stranger, and secondly I’m not going to ask you to list your employers or list your resume for me. I refused to answer the question, I told him I had worked on some great projects, and when he balked at my non-response, I asked him what were some of the names of the sexually abused children he worked with, were there any cases that he worked on that I would have heard about on the news??” That pretty much shut him up.
#9 was the only person that listed his occupation in the “I am” spot.. and of course, that’s because he was a singer. lol But not the rock n roll kind that I go weak in the knees for, his project (which sounds kind of interesting), turns poetry, famous and non, into songs and perform them live in a theatrical/musical kinda way. Interesting enough, but there was just something about this guy… a little off, he was bald, which I’ve dated a few bald guys, but he was a weird-bald guy.
#10 reminded me of the Centaur from The Chronicles of Narnia. He was an Indian guy (East Indian, not Native), and was spry and bouncy with a mischievous grin, yet still very shy and unsure of himself. He had been to a few of these things and had recently had a relationship which he thought was going okay, end with a “you’re not my type”, and he asked me to explain what that meant when a girl said that… He also asked me how quickly during this 5 1/2 minute date did I make up my mind. An interesting question.. which I didn’t really have an answer to. His answer was 30 seconds, and he added, that he’s rarely wrong on his matches. It was just enough confidence to put him in that, okay, you’re cute column.
#11 also sat down with a blank table-card. We were at the very last round, and how the other 10 women let him get away w/out filling out his card I don’t know, but when I expressed my interest in his answers, he filled it out for me. We talked a little bit about yoga, he had just started it, but mostly he talked about his job as a College Recruiter and the fun antics he and his co-worker have as they travel around, all-expenses paid, recruiting.
And… Done.
Interesting Notes:
70% of the men read my table-card and decided to ask about Thunderstorms. Meaning, 70% of the time my conversation started off with me talking about how after living on the West Coast for 12 yrs I realized the only thing I like about the East Coast weather is thunderstorms. After about 3x, I turned on my actor-self, and went on auto-pilot for this answer.
Only 2 asked what my occupation was.
Only 3 shared their occupation with me.
No one asked if I’d been previously married or about children.
When I got home that night, I logged onto www.speeddatephiladelphia.com and clicked “yes” on the daters that I would be open to contacting me for a date, I chose #2, #6, #7, and #10. Do I see a potential soul-mate in any of those guys? No, not at all, but I do see the potential to have a nice night out, with a fun guy.
All in all, there was no one I was physically attracted to, there was no one that made my heart go pitter-patter, or sit up and take extreme interest in, BUT, each guy, (except for maybe #8), was there with a very open-heart, hoping to share a piece of themselves in their quest to give and receive romantic love, and that made it an enjoyable experience.
Hello. My name is Leah C.
I am: a Taurus, Free-Spirit, and Spiritual
I enjoy: yoga, road-trips, and thunderstorms. ;)