#NerdsUnite: Confessions of an Unwed Bride (2011 - The Worst AND Best Year of My Life!)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet by buddy Julie! She's my roomie, we met on Craiglist, and she is 1,000 flavors of everything awesome sauce. The reason why she had a room in her apartment however is a mighty long story. See, Julie was dating a duderino for 8 years. Yep, they were engaged to be wed and all that snazzy jazzy stuff. Now the engagement is off and Julie is attempting to heal from her loss; these series of posts are her best attempt. HIT IT JULIE! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ItsMeJoolie

What an epic year 2011 was for me. The lows could not have possibly been lower and the highs made me excited to be alive.

A couple things that happened to me in 2011:

• My fiance calls off our wedding
• I return my wedding dress (something no one should fucking have to do)
•  I lost half of my stuff when my ex moves out
• I have to leave work to sit in my car and bawl in the middle of the workday
• Jen Friel becomes my roommate

And THEN all of these awesome firsts happened in 2011:

• Skydiving
•  Single for the first time in my adult life
• I have a group of female friends
• Got acupuncture
• Joined a book club
•  Sang karaoke for the first time (Oasis' "Don't Look Back in Anger")
• Visited Las Vegas and played BlackJack
• Went to Pilates and cardio barre
• Danced onstage with Prince
• Met friends from the internet
• Online dating
• San Diego Comic Con
• Started seeing a therapist
• Went to Self Realization Fellowship and Against The Stream Buddhist Meditation Society

My favorite thing that happened to me this year?
I start my own blog and writing for TNTML. Becoming a part of the TNTML community and meeting so many of you guys has by far been the best part of 2011 for me! So thank you, thank you, thank you!

When the year started I was broken and lost. Over the year I slowly picked up all of the pieces of my life and held them in my arms. You cannot, even if you want to, put the pieces back together the way that they were. The best part about losing everything and starting over is the opportunity you have for transformation. You can make your life better than it was before. What have you always wanted to do but didn't? Now's the time to get started on you.

So that's what 2011 meant to me. Working on me. Rebuilding. Turing towards the universe and opening up to possibilities. I used to be sad that I barely had any friends in LA. So when I realized that I was going to be alone, I made a decision. Meet people. Talk to everyone. Ask them questions. I have more friends now than I have ever had before. Yeah, it was that easy.

What wasn't easy for me was dating. Having never really done it before, it was a huge hurdle to jump over on the way to being healed. I was beyond nervous for my first OKCupid date, but I got through it and went on a bunch more. I'm happy to report that even after having my heart ripped out of my chest, I am able to crush on a boy.

The most important part of losing everything was the self reflection. Why did my fiancé feel like he needed to look elsewhere? What was my part? It does take two to tango after all. Ohhh shit, maybe my lifelong depression? Which brings me to the MOST IMPORTANT THING LEARNED IN 2011:

Happiness is a state of mind, not a set of circumstances. It's a choice.

There will always be things in your life that suck. You lost your job, someone hit your car, hell if you're in the WeHo/Hollywood area, maybe that batshit arsonist set your car on fire. There will always be some bullshit taking place in your life. Your job is to deal with it all the while focusing on the good in your life. Your cute dog, your partner, your house, the job that you love, whatever. Focus on the good. I flipped a switch in my brain and when things go wrong or I’m not happy with something I use the skills I have learned in meditation. When I meditate I smile and go through a picture slide show of everyone in my life and I think about how grateful I am that they are in my life. Negative thoughts creep in, you acknowledge the thought and then MOVE ON!

Even though 2011 was character building, I hope 2012 has much shallower valleys! Now that I've built my life back up I have to refocus, paint the house and plant some flowers. I've spent most of this year eating like shit, smoking cigarettes and drinking. Ooooh the drinking. More drinking in 2011 than all prior years of my life combined. I am not a rock star and will never be, but I've been trying to prove to everyone that I am. So in 2012 I want to continue to have adventures but also balance out. Chill out on the smoking and drinking. And ya know, maybe eat a freakin' salad.

Love you guys!

#nerdsunite

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