#NerdsUnite: I met my husband on @PlentyOfFish (Things Tim says)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jessica. She and I met through this loverly site, and by her reaching out to me asking if she could write for us. Really rad chickie, she provided a lot of insight into my childhood for me (something you don't get every day from someone!!) - andddddd she has quite the life story. Like did you know she moved cross country for love? ORRRR that she found out her ex cheated on her by reading it on Facebook? ANNNNDDDD she even married a guy she met off of Plenty of Fish! Yep, true story! This is life as told through her eyes, and through the keyword of the nerd. HIT IT JESSICA!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ItsJessWeaver

The other night I was sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner with Tim, and for the love of all that is holy, I cannot believe I can’t remember what tangent we were on that got us to this place in the conversation, but we were talking about nutrition.

Oh yes. We were talking about eating home-made food and how I’ve banned Hamburger Helper from the kitchen. We don’t eat it anymore. I used to eat it growing up, then I didn’t, and when I met Tim I started eating it again because he so often cooked for me and he ate it a lot. So anyway. I am trying hard to eat real food, not a bunch of overly processed crap that brings up a mild recollection of what food should have been, if only we cared enough to eat it fresh. So we had cooked together—lasagna from scratch. It was delicious. And even though it had all kinds of cheese in it, which might technically make it not the best choice health-wise, my comment was that at least it was real food, not wood. A lot of processed food, especially diet food, has cellulose in it, which is actually wood pulp. It is filler, it is non-nutritive, non-caloric, and no, it is not food. Technically it isn’t toxic to people, so the FDA says it’s ok to add to stuff we eat, even though it isn’t actually food. The official story is that cellulose, or wood in your food, is a plant fiber and can help reduce caloric content in food. I’m a little creeped out by it anyway.

The conversation goes like this:

Me: “At least there’s no wood in this, even though it might make me fat.”

Him: “I’ve got some wood that will make you fat.” Snigger. (Ooh, a dick joke. I laugh. I love dick jokes.)

Sometimes I wish I could post everything he says on Facebook. Like that website “things my boyfriend says.com”. But I have grandmothers and cousins on there, and I can’t be bothered to edit the audience of my posts that much. So I didn’t post it, but I wanted to. That happens to me all the time. Something happens to me, or someone says something, and I immediately think “I should post that on Facebook.” I feel like there should be a part of me that thinks that is a really stupid idea, and I am vaguely alarmed that this part of me isn’t there.

Tonight, before I started writing, I was hanging out on the guest bed in the office where Tim runs his gaming empire. Right now, he is playing Star Wars: The Old Republic, and he has taken a position on the dark side of the force, which I think is interesting. He always plays good guys, and I think he is getting off on being bad, for once. I say, for once, but really—this guy did more bad things as a kid than I ever imagined doing. He got it out of his system early, though, and pretty much ever since I met him he’s been a complete angel. He keeps telling me he’s really an asshole, but I don’t believe it.  So I’m hanging out, writing a post for my blog, and when I finish he comes over and cuddles with me on the bed. Whenever that happens I strategically position my neck under his hands, like so, and he is supposed to catch the hint. He’s sometimes talented at catching the hint, but if not, like tonight, I might have to say something.

The conversation goes like this:

Me: “Mmm…my neck still hurts. It got worse at work.”

Him: “Oh, it did?”

Me: “Yep. So…do you think you could find it in your heart to rub my neck a little bit?”

Him: “Yeah…I might be able to do that.”

Me: “Oh yeah?”

Him: “Yeah, I might be able to find it in my heart.”

Silence. Neither of us say anything for a moment, and then he says, suddenly,

Him: “OK. I found it.”

Me: “What?”

Him: “I found it.”

Beat.

Him:  “In my heart. It was in there.”

And then I got a neck rub. And I thought to myself “ He’s so cute. I should post this on facebook.”

I didn’t. I totally showed self-control, by not posting it on facebook, and posting it in this article instead.

Apparently,  my default is set to “share.” I didn’t use to be this way.

I blame you, Facebook.

#thatisall

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