#NerdsUnite: Confessions of a serial monogamist
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jen. She's a graphic designer by day and a serial monogamist by night that lives across the pond in the UK. She's currently in a relationship of 8 years, and her dating record prior had been puddle jumps from 3 months here ... to 3 months there. These are her thoughts on life, love, and all things nerd. Hit it Jen!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jen Randall
So you’ve decided against online dating and want to snag a man another way? There are many many women who claim they know exactly how to get a man’s attention and keep it. The truth is that people overcomplicate this and so really there are very few who genuinely know how to captivate a guy. Here’s my advice, it might seem simple, but it’s often forgotten.
Smile & be positive
Most people like to surround themselves with others who are happy and positive; men especially love the company of positive women. Think about the women you know, most importantly the ones who constantly attract attention (the right kind of attention) from men. Are they life and soul of the party or throwing a pity-party for one? Men are attracted to positive energy so don’t whine and pout because, really, he doesn’t want to feel like he’s continuously having to massage your ego or boost your emotions.
Don’t fake it ‘til you make it
If you pretend to be something you’re not a guy will figure it out in the end. No-one can keep something up forever (TWSS). Everyone tries a little harder when getting to know someone, but be sure to make sure it really is you he’s interested in and not this alternate version of you (created to fit with his likes and wants in a woman). You also shouldn’t try to change yourself to make you seem more appealing – if he’s not interested then he isn’t the right guy – it’s much more worthwhile when you find a guy who will fall in love with you for who you are. If you’re nerdy, be nerdy. If you’re introverted, be a hot introvert. Just be you....and be good at it.
Wear your body like you’re wearing Prada
Every girl has this ideal of the perfect woman. The woman that every guy wants. The truth is that we’re all different and so everyone is looking for something different to the next person. The trick is to know your body and get confident with it. Instead of being anxious about hitting your goal weight or not being that skinny size 2, wear clothes that fit you, accent your body and flatter your shape. We’re women, not sticks. The media does an excellent job at confusing us, but at the end of the day most men like real women. He’ll be happier knowing that he can take you out for dinner and you won’t be anxious about the calorific value of everything on the menu.
Neediness isn’t like godliness....wait...what
We’re all needy at times (and this includes men), but it really is about the least attractive quality you can have. If you want a man to run a mile then be as needy as possible and call him 726 times day, no really, try it. To lose your neediness you need to be happy with who you are. If you’re happy with yourself, then so will he be. If you’re both happy you’ll find you don’t need to know his whereabouts continuously and you’ll be much happier in general. Who knows, you might even decide you don’t need a man.
Bradley Cooper might not actually be the right man for you (entirely shocking, I know....though I KNOW he is the man for me....eventually!)
A lot of people build the ideal of their perfect partner in their minds for many years. Choosing things from his hair, eyes, body type and even as far as his laugh or accent. The unfortunate thing is that this person probably doesn’t exist....and even if he did the chances of you actually meeting him are even more remote than me marrying Bradley, and I know that he exists! You need to let go of all your preconceived ideas of how all men with shaved heads are bullies, the ones with tattoos are criminals, the ones over the age of 40 with a moustache are porn stars...any idea you have that a man with a certain feature will behave a certain way, because at the end of the day, like I already said...we’re all different. Just because you have a hook for a hand doesn’t mean you’re a pirate (well...maybe). Step out of your comfort zone and find something new because, you never know, the next guy just might surprise you.
Remember....life isn’t a Hollywood movie