#NerdsUnite: Confessions of a serial monogamist (that time I realized cheating wasn't such a great idea)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jen. She's a graphic designer by day and a serial monogamist by night that lives across the pond in the UK. She's currently in a relationship of 8 years, and her dating record prior had been puddle jumps from 3 months here ... to 3 months there. These are her thoughts on life, love, and all things nerd. Hit it Jen!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jen Randall
FYI, I don’t condone cheating, I don’t see the point. If you’re in a relationship and you’re unhappy enough to cheat then you really should ask yourself why you’re bothering with the relationship at all. Ok?
So I cheated on this guy. Once twice. And I didn’t even feel bad. Well...the first time I did, but mostly because I was hungover the next day. Like seriously hungover. That hurt. A lot.
The first guy was hot and his last name was Dollar. It just seemed to make sense. Well, as much sense as it could after 6 gin and tonics and maybe some squashed frogs. Thinking back on it, it really doesn’t make that much sense at all. Anyhow, it was at the launch party of his new business and a very fancy affair at a restaurant on the beach.
Sidenote: This story is about to go rapidly downhill
By 1am to say I was drunk was much more than an understatement. I had just come home from a week away and the summer sun had definitely made the alcohol go to my head faster than usual (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it). The guy was a friend of a friend who I had met several times before so when he saw me sitting by myself on the beach he approached (obviously not with as much caution as he should of). We started slurring chatting then were suddenly kissing and then the worst moment of my life occurred. I was sick. In front of a guy. Worst still, in front of a guy that I liked. Did I mention he was hot? Did I also mention we’d been kissing? I’m sorry; did someone say I had a boyfriend? No? I didn’t think so.
So I was sick, quite a lot, but it was dark so surely that means it counts less!? Right!? No? Well thanks a bunch karma!
To my amazement, right after I was sick, the dude went to kiss me again. I’VE JUST BEEN SICK AND YOU’RE ABOUT TO carry on??? Oh, ok then, continue at your own peril.
Due to being awesome and making my best decisions whilst drunk....I got up, didn’t say goodbye, and walked off. I’ve no idea what I was thinking. Normally I’d stick around.
:::anticlimax:::
Literally.
The second time was with a guy I had fooled around with on and off over the course of a couple of years...knowing very well that he had a girlfriend every time #girlcodefail.
Backstory: The last time I’d seen this guy was at around 4am, 6 months previous, in his bedroom.
There were several hours of sex involved. But I had a 9am hair appointment and so just decided to leave immediately after the sex seemed to be over. He was a little annoyed and so never called.
Ok, so I bumped into him at a club 6 months later. He asked me if I had a boyfriend to which I replied that I did. Suddenly we were kissing and I was ten shades of confused. A few minutes later we pulled apart and he said he was going to grab a beer at the bar and would be back shortly. A few hours went by and he didn’t materialise, I wasn’t too bothered but thought it was a bit odd.
At the end of the night I was walking down the street to grab a cab with some friends when I saw him smirking at me and all of a sudden it hit me that the only thing he’d said to me / asked me was if I had a boyfriend. Thank you very much karma!
The moral of the story is that even though the boys were cute cheating is most definitely a bad thing (even if you’re in a long distance relationship, you don’t believe in long distance relationships, you’re not overly keen on said boyfriend and opportunities with hot boys arise). If you cheat you might be sick on the guy/girl you’re cheating with or it could be a cruel form of revenge with no sex at the end....but karma will definitely repay you in one way or another!