#NerdsUnite: Confessions of an Unwed Bride
<editorsnote> Julie Wilson recently endured an agonizing break up with her fiancé after being together for 8 years. She is now in her late 20s and confused about what to do next. These are some of her frustrations, and ways she is attempting to heal from her loss. </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Julie Wilson
Yes, I am mad at him. Yes, he hurt me more than anyone ever has. But he is also an AWESOME PERSON. I wouldn't have been with him for over 7 years if he wasn't.
What I Miss The Most About You:
- Your laugh. A laugh as individual as you are. One that can make me laugh twice as hard as I already was laughing. We would catch each other's eye and laugh even more. Then the TV has to be paused. You'd say the line that made us laugh and we would keep laughing. Finally, we'd unpause the TV, rewind and watch it again. Pure joy! Also, your laugh is golden in movie theaters. Especially when no one else in the theater thinks it's funny and then comes your gregarious laugh, cutting through the silence. Sometimes someone will laugh at you laughing and then I laugh.
- Knowing you are next to me as I sleep. I can't even turn the TV off now when I go to sleep because I feel so alone. I am really sorry I wasn't a better cuddler. Especially when you communicated that it was so important to you to be able to hold someone as you sleep. I bought you a body pillow because I have a hard time lying still while I sleep. That's lame. Sorry.
- Your cooking. Some of the happiest moments of my adult life were hanging out in the kitchen with you. I was your Sous Chef; getting everything out for you, washing the vegetables, stirring the pasta. I miss putting on an episode of The Simpsons in the background while we smoke a bowl and talk while creating dinner. When I was working and you were in school dinner was waiting for me each night as I came home. I was the luckiest girl ever. And while I'm on the topic of food, I miss going food shopping with you. The first time I went to the store by myself I cried in the frozen foods aisle. Frozen pizza for one instead of baked chicken with a side of love.
- The way you wouldn't put up with my shit. I was/am a spoiled brat who was given anything I ever cried loud enough about. My mom did everything for me. I didn't wash a dish or do my own laundry until I had moved out at 19. I still can't do some things for myself. You got kicked out of your home by 11 and you were taking the city bus around Fort Lauderdale at that age. You always pushed me to be a stronger version of myself. And I whined and fought you every step of the way. After we moved to Los Angeles, I got really intimidated by the city and I clung to you even more. I'm trying to be strong now that we aren't together. I put on my own license plates, I hung up new string lights (okay I needed a bit of help from Jen because I'm so short), I got a new bed. I'm really trying to be more independent!
- When I would get sick you would always make me Thera-flu or "Lemon Death" as we used to joke. You would also make me drink green tea. And from your light pink and blue Pier 1 tea set that people assumed was mine because it looked girly (I love that You didn't care).
- I miss your excitement. Like your laughter, it's contagious. And that thing that you do when you can't wait for something, with your arms, little fist pumps, it's really cute.
- Saying TV and movie quotes with you. No one else gets the references!!!
- Your blue eyes. They're real and they're spectacular.
- The way you make me feel like I'm home.