#NerdsUnite: Walk of shame, or stride of pride?
<editorsnote> HAHAHA I just got craziest email you guys - it's from this chickie Meg who I'm totes besties with on Twitter. She's been reading all about my dating shenanigans, and even had a tale of her own with an epic walk of shame. Hit it Meg!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @MegCorbs
So a little background on me for you incredibly awesome nerds out there. In 2009 I studied abroad in Australia for 6 months. I was taking a break from my San Diego State days and decided to go out and explore the world. I was a little innocent at the time and while I had done my fair share of partying (I did go to one of the biggest party schools!) I was honestly more of a tease when it came to guys (blame my crazy Catholic upbringing. Even when you're not practicing anymore, Catholic guilt is no joke guys!)
Anyways on this most epic of epic adventures I was about 2 1/2ish weeks into my trip. It was a Wednesday night and we were headed to what was going to become our favorite club, The Eastern. It was right down the street where me and my partner in crime, Ashley, lived and was always massively packed and amazing on Wednesday nights. I had chosen one of those little dresses that have a tight band around your upper thighs and ass and awkwardly baggy everywhere above that used to be popular in the sorority crowd a few years back. DON'T JUDGE ME!
Not long into our arrival (with many drinks in our system) I met this extremely hot Aussie, let's call Paul. Paul it turns out had studied abroad at SDSU the semester before and actually went to celebrate Thanksgiving with a guy that I went to High School and now college with. Small world anyone?
When I say Paul was hot, I mean he was HOT. Perfect tanned typical Aussie skin, perfect smile (rare there), and incredible body. Well one thing led to another and we were making out in the club. Yes, I was THAT girl. He whispered in my ear in that oh-so-sexy accent that he lived around the corner and if I would go home with him and in the back of my head I was like "Eff it, I'm in Australia!" and told him yes.
15 min (around the corner my ass) and a tension filled cab ride later we were back at his place and not too long after that we were messing around. In true Megan fashion we didn't have sex and the hook-up obviously wasn't that good because I don't really remember most of it. What I do remember, VIVIDLY, is the adventure that was the morning after.
Anyways, I wake up early in the a.m. with the sheets around my waist and the door opening. In walks a lady with a hamper of clean clothes. You read that right, HIS MOTHER walked in with his LAUNDRY, as I was partially exposed. She turns around and walks out with without a word.
I wake Paul up with a massive "WTF Asshole?! Why didn't you warn me?!" He smirks at me and informs me that it's no big deal and if I want she'll make me breakfast.
Um what? What crazy family dynamic is this and why in the hell would I want to do that. Sample Breaky (what they call breakfast) convo: "Thanks for the breakfast Paul's mom (as I didn't know his last name)." "oh yes, I did meet your son last night." "It WAS awkward when you walked in this morning." "Nope he wasn't that impressive, sorry."
I tell him that I need to leave...NOW! I grab and quickly put on my little blue dress as he tells me the busy street outside his condo ALWAYS has tons of cabs going up and down it and that I should catch one no problem.
He didn't walk me out and I didn't care because I just wanted to slip out unnoticed and away from this awkward situation.
I whip out my phone and see that it is around 8 in the morning just before it completely dies. Whatever, I just have to get back to my place right? A few feet and a very awkward cab ride and I'll be fine!
WRONG! I wind up standing on the corner for around 15 min. trying to flag down these cabs that are supposedly there ALL the time of which I saw 3 that didn't even stop for me.
Just to remind you, it was a Thursday morning now and I was in a very residential area. There were kids walking to school and people driving to work. I felt so self-conscious in my slutty dress that I tried pulling it down and figured that I could at least pull up my (very messed up) hair to look semi-presentable.
After 15 min had gone by and with NO phone to call a cab I started to walk in hopes of finding a bus stop. I couldn't go back to Paul's because I had forgotten which condo was his and since I was drunk the night before I had zero clue about which direction I should even be walking in. But I figured it was better than standing there like a confused hooker.
So I walk....and walk...and walk. I pass children, people walking their dogs, gardeners, etc I was getting some looks from these people that just said it all which is the main reason I didn't ask to use a phone. So fun times basically.
After 45 min of walking aimlessly, I FINALLY catch a cab. The cabbie wanted me to sit in the front seat for some odd reason and didn't say more than two words to me (Aussie cabbies are usually VERY chatty).
A few minutes into the ride I look over into the side mirror to see how bad my make-up was and realized that I had HUGGEEEEE monstrous hickies ALL over my neck. Kiddies, I am VERY light skinned so these bad boys STOOD out. The whole hour I was outside, I had my hair UP, displaying them for ALL to see.
I wanted to die...right then and there. But no I still had to walk by the front desk of my building and in to my rooomie for her to laugh her ass of.
Not only that but my VERY religious aunt was in town the next day so I had to wear a scarf...in the summer.....IN AUSTRALIA.