They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

AHHH!!!

Thank you guys so so so much for all the comments, tweets, and messages regarding the series of #TrueStory posts. Greatly greatly greatly appreciate it. I'm writing part 7 right now, which is the last chapter (and also the most difficult to write)- but first, I wanted to share an email I got yesterday.

Jen,

It saddens me to say, I know how you feel when it comes to harassment. I was also harassed in school at a very young age. This incident has taken a huge toll on my self esteem and trust has always been a big issue with the guys in my life.

When I was a sophomore in high school I had a huge crush (like since middle school) on a boy. Let’s say his name is Andrew. Well, somehow Andrew got wind of this and AIMed me one weeknight. We talked for a few hours, I was so excited. Anyone who was around me probably would have described it as giddy. My parents had given up on getting me off the computer and it got late. As the dark approached the conversation turned.

He wanted to meet up. I didn’t know what to do. I had barely even kissed a boy before and by the tone of the conversation he wanted to do more than just that. I was also in a big fight with my best friend at the time, so I couldn’t call her up and ask for advice (ah, the drama). So I ended up turning him down.

He kept persisting. So much so that it made me think that I didn’t have such a big crush on him after all. He was starting to act like a jerk, so I told him I had to go. I quickly signed off so he couldn’t say anymore and I thought it was over. I finished up some homework that was due the next day and went to sleep like normal.

The next day, I didn’t know what had happened, but something was different. I was getting these strange looks in the hallway. People whispered as I walked by, and I had no idea what it was about! I was not used to the attention, mostly because I was one of the students who were “invisible”. Some of my “friends” wouldn’t talk to me anymore and so it was hard for me to figure out what was going on. Cruelly, I was informed in the middle of the hallway in between classes. “So, can I have the next turn?” was yelled at me. “Huh?” I thought. That was weird! But the comments kept persisting and finally someone took pity on me.

Andrew had told everyone that I had met him at a park the night before and lost my virginity to him! WTHHHHHHHHHHHH?! I could not even believe boys were capable of such hurtful things! I ran to the bathroom and cried. How could he do that?! And it spread around the school so fast that there was nowhere to hide.  I had to deal with the taunts for the rest of the day, and many days after. Some days were good and others were not. I would frequently come home crying by the end of the school day.

This ended up continuing for months. At this point I was so depressed and I didn’t want to go to school anymore. My friend and I had made up by now, and she seemed to be the only one who believed me. I wound up getting very depressed and I would do whatever I could to avoid the school. UNTIL one day…

I was a cheerleader at the school and it was my first year. I didn’t know a lot of the moves the other girls did and so I would end up looking like an idiot most of the time. This one game we had to cheer along with the band and the coach (I don’t know why the hell why) put me in front of everyone else. The song came on and I was doing my best when…

*plunk*

Something hit me. I didn’t know what it was.

*plunk*

*plunk* *plunk*

*plunk*

Someone was throwing things at me! I looked up and Andrew and his buddies all had packs of candy they were throwing at me while I was clumsily trying to get through one song. I was so embarrassed. To this day it makes me shake just thinking about it. As soon as we were done with the song I walked to the side. No one asked me what was wrong or tried to console me which made me even more upset. These girls didn’t care. So I just left. I went home and ran upstairs to cry. My mom came in to ask me what happened. At this point I had not told her what was going on. I told her the story and she started to cry. If you knew the relationship with me and my mom, you would know that this was a big deal. She asked if she could do anything and when I said no, she told me she wanted to talk to their parents. I pleaded with her not to. “You’ll only make it worse!” I screamed. So she sent me to a shrink instead.

Our school was no private school, but we had a psychologist that was on staff certain parts of the day. My first meeting with him went well. He asked me why I was there. I told him that I was sad a lot. He asked me why. Then the story came tumbling out of my mouth one more time. As soon as I was finished he stood up and told me to come with him. I followed him to one of the administrative offices. It wasn’t the principal, but still someone pretty high up. He told me to tell him what the boys were doing. I did. This guy took a second; he looked at me like he was analyzing the situation. He said, “Do you want to file for sexual harassment?”

WHAT? There was a word for what they were doing to me? AND it wasn’t normal?

“YES!”

I was lucky enough that this resolved my issue. Once Andrew’s parents found out he was in big trouble. It also scared a lot of the other guys from saying anything to me anymore, although there were a few isolated incidents. A year or so later I think Andrew was sent away to boot camp by his parents because he was doing something illegal, but I never found out what it was.

While I wouldn’t care to repeat this part of my life I am thankful that it made me stronger. Without it happening to me, I wouldn’t be the wonderful person I am today! :)

Amazing. Amazing. Amazing!

So sorry you had to experience something like that, but glad you're looking at the glass half full chica! Experiences like this definitely shape you, but if you take your power back - they won't define you.

WHOOP WHOOP!!! Keep on keepin on! =)

#NERDSUNITE

Got a story you want to share? Drop me an email: JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

Orrrrrr send me a love letter on Facebook: Facebook.com/JenFriel

I keep everything anonymous. Thanks guys!! =)