The Adventures of @DustyCPollyD: The #Nerdbooks Collection
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Dusty Cooper
Hi, my name is Dusty and I have a book problem. I love books. I might get an e-reader some day. Maybe. But I will never, ever give up my books. In 2061, I will be the weird old lady buying books at yard sales for 25 cents a pop. As of today, I own 233 books. I purchased most of them at library book sales. Library sales are a book nerd’s wet dream. You can load up a box full of books for $3. I’m getting all hot and bothered just thinking about book sale season. When I moved here from New York, my Jetta was packed to the hilt with boxes of books. I didn’t even have an air mattress. Just some clothes and my babies. When my brother drove out here last summer, he brought me two large storage boxes full of books that I wasn’t able to bring on the first trip. They each weighed about 70 lbs. He was on this epic road trip and so space in his car was at a premium. He knew how much I wanted the rest of my book collection, so he shoved aside his djembe drum to make room for them… and my skis… he’s pretty much the best brother ever… and he’s single… and cuuuute and really tall! Email me ladies and I’ll set you up! But only if you’re awesome.
But I digress.
Now, if you’ve been following my exploits on Buds & Ham Sammies, you know that my other hobby is studying and interacting with the mens. I don’t have a particular type of men. I like lawyers, painters, musicians, athletes… I’m an equal opportunity dater. All that’s to say is, no matter who they are or how intelligent they are, I have a fool proof way of classifying them in either the “I could repeatedly date you” category or the “I’ll only call ya when I want a romp in the sack” category.
It’s the books.
It all comes back to the books. Now, when you have 233 books in your tiny apartment room, they make a statement. What I’ve found is that different kinds of men react differently to the wall o’ books. Upon seeing the the #nerdbooks collection for the first time, one alpha male artist dude stopped dead in his tracks and said in an awestruck and almost fearful tone, “Whoa. There’s a lot of books in here. Have you read all of these?” Needless to say, we didn’t last long because it turned out my brain scared the shit out of him. Another lad who claimed to be into smart chicks outright made fun of my book collection. Then there was the wicked cool musician who saw my books and was inspired to put his hands in my hair and give me one of the top five hottest kisses of my entire life. When I asked him what that was for, he said, “your brain is sexy.”
So there you have it. The #nerdbooks collection. It’s almost better for my dating life than my dad standing on the porch with a shotgun.